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'AITA for telling my SIL to stop bringing food to family dinners, and asking why she can’t listen?'

'AITA for telling my SIL to stop bringing food to family dinners, and asking why she can’t listen?'

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"AITA for telling my SIL to stop bringing food to family dinners, and asking why she can’t listen?"

My family members have allergies. There is one night where they don’t have to worry and can eat everything and it's great. I host big dinner parties once a season. The whole family comes down and it is usually a great time. My brother is now married and he brings his wife along. I’m not besties with her, we are just polite to each other.

Now the first invite she asked what she should bring and I told her nothing, just show up and have a good time. She brought food. I thought she was just being polite and I reiterated to not bring food since if throws off the menu I made and I don’t know what’s in it and some relatives have allergies.

You would think problem was solved, nope. Next time she brought more food. I told her again to not bring anything. If she really wants to bring a hostess gift bring wine. We had our summer dinner and before that she asked what wines would be good for dinner.

I told her a white wine and told her again she doesn’t have to bring anything just being here is a great. Please don’t bring food. I assumed she would bring wine which would be fine.

She shows up with cornbread. I was so done at this point that when she was with the others I threw it away and just moved on with the night. I'm sorry but was this cornbread a weird power move?? She noticed the cornbread wasn’t served and confronted me later in the night.

I told her I threw it away and she got mad at me. We got into an argument about how I should be grateful I am helping her out and me asking if she can’t listen, since children can do it but apparently she can’t.

She called me a jerk and my brother is mad at me. I don’t get why I should be grateful since she is causing that problem and messing up my menu. AITA?

Let's see what internet users had to say.

myhairsonfire202 writes:

NTA. She’s either very weird, very stupid, very antagonistic, or a combination of the above. Throwing away any food item(s) she brings is appropriate at this point. You are not obligated to serve what anyone brings into your home - especially when they have been explicitly asked to refrain from doing so. Your brothers anger is misplaced.

I think you should maybe take some time to figure out why you don’t like your SIL. There’s literally absolutely nothing here to be upset about.

It’s cornbread.... Save it for later. Send it home with other people. Cut it up & put it on the table because it certainly was not going to “f^%$” up your menu. Your guests are presumably adults, they can manage to ask what in the bread if they’re concerned about allergies.

My sisters & I have never arrived to any party empty handed. It’s the way we’re were raised. (Food, wine, flowers, desserts, gifts for host & trinkets for kids) I couldn’t care less if the host says don’t bring anything. I also don’t care if it’s ever served.

OP responded:

It’s the disrespect, I asked her so many times not to do one thing and she keeps doing it. It’s the not listening to me. She’s not being nice, she is disregarding what I ask.

It’s like you ask someone to not touch your book, then she goes and touches the one thing you asked her not to go. You give her options of other books but she just has to touch your book.

I gave her a good hostess gift suggestions, and yet she had to the do the one thing I asked her not to do.

replied:

You must be living a really wonderful life if this is what you believe disrespect looks like. You already know your SIL is going to bring food. So what?!?! Just don’t serve it.

You took a very simple & easily solved situation & blew it WAY out of proportion. So your SIL “disrespected” you by not listening & you decided the best way to solve that problem was to one up her & be more disrespectful. Why not just talk to your brother? Or just send it home with her!!!!!

bladebretfordstein writes:

NTA because your family has allergies and you want one night when everyone can enjoy themselves without worrying or having to ask: is there x in this? Is there any risk in this? That’s sweet of you, and mean of her to insist in bringing stuff that could be a problem. What’s her problem, is she one of those people who don’t believe in allergies??

Any advice for her?

Sources: Reddit
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