When this woman is embarrassed about her behavior around her boyfriend's mom, she asks Reddit:
AITA for throwing up my bf's mom's food in front of her? Background- I(23F) don't eat beef. I'm not allergic. It's forbidden in my religion, but I'm not very religious either.
The reason is cultural as I've never eaten it growing up, and don't wish to. However, I'd never judge or stop someone from eating beef in front of me. Everyone can make their own choices & it's never bothered me, as long as I can make mine. My bf(23M) knows of this and understands.
This came up when I first met bf's mom. She invited us for dinner & bf called ahead to ask about the food (If it was beef, I was fine with bringing my own food. Its never been a problem.) Anyways, his mom had some options, & when we got there, she asked about it after dinner & I tried to explain.
I say tried, because she didn't really understand it, kept saying that if I'm not religious or allergic, it shouldn't matter, that it was in my head and I've just not tasted her cooking.
I told her she's an amazing cook, complimented what I'd eaten, & tried to change the topic, but she kept bringing it up, saying 'cultural reasons' was not an answer. I got a little annoyed, & backtracked saying I was actually allergic so it doesn't matter. Weak lie, but I just wanted the convo to be over.
This week, she invited us again. I called ahead to ask about the food, & she surprised me by saying that she hadn't made anything with beef at all. I tried to tell her that she didn't have to, but she assured me it was fine.
We're there. She calls me to the kitchen to taste something. I put the food in my mouth, it tastes odd, not bad per se, but odd. I have a bad feeling but I don't want to offend her so I just swallow it. Look up to find her staring at me, give her a smile and say its good, and she goes "HA! I knew you weren't allergic. Now tell me, how is it?"
Cue me being horrified & her smiling at me like she just won some game. I have never eaten beef. I have never wished to eat it. I'm sick to the stomach even thinking of eating it. It goes against a lot of things I believe in. I was horrified, angry, & started tearing up.
My face clued her in that something was wrong, but it was too late. Instead of apologizing for this 'prank', she starts defending herself, saying it was cruel to lie to her about an allergy, her food is good and I just needed to taste it and get out of my own head.
The shock is gone, and I'm angry. Now this is where I might be an ass. This woman loves her food, prides herself on it. I grab a dustbin from under the sink, shoved two fingers down my throat, and vomited in it in front of her. She looks horrified. I wipe my mouth & say "That's what I think of your food.", and left with bf.
Bf is on my side, but thinks I went a little too far with the dramatics. Bf's sis has been bombarding my phone. I don't think I'm TA but wanted to know for sure before apologising/dragging this out, AITA?
NTA. This woman crossed a very clear boundary you put because of her prejudice. She deserves all the offense she got. You will never eat anything she cooks ever again because she broke the trust. "Just get it out of your head" - you did. Literally. Out of your head and your entire body.
NTA. Where I live, making someone eat something, they clearly stated they do not want to eat constitutes infliction of bodily harm, which can and does get prosecuted. Yes, your last comment was a bombshell, no denying that. However MIL was so fing out of line, if this was a highway, her car would have gone off a cliff ten days ago.
Sister can shut it and stop interjecting. If someone does not want to do something and there is no law specifying they have to, then another person cannot just make them. Some people have the surreal expectation, that if you "only tried my way, then you knew I was right". Yeah, no.Big fat NTA.
NTA - You wouldn’t have been in a position to vomit in front of her if she hadn’t very clearly violated your dietary rules.
I think what you did was appropriate considering what she did. Too many times, people in this position are expected to be poised and just quietly excuse themselves…but why should she get an easy out after so blatantly disrespecting you and violating your food choices? What if you HAD been allergic?
Sometimes the “classy” response needs to give way to something more real and visceral. Personally I think your response was stellar.