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'AITA for wanting a divorce after my husband started begging to open the relationship?'

'AITA for wanting a divorce after my husband started begging to open the relationship?'


"AITA for wanting a divorce after my husband started begging to open the relationship?"

I(27F) am considering divorce with my (28M) husband of 10 months. We recently (5 months ago) moved to a new state into a much bigger and nicer city than we were growing up in. We lived with his parents for most of the relationship.

I was his childhood dream girl. We dated briefly in high school and it never went anywhere. We reconnected two years ago and I fell in love with him.

Since we’ve moved he’s changed completely. He’s been having anger issues that have gotten us kicked out of one the places we were staying, and it drove two separate roommates out.

Three months ago he met a coworker who was 18 and flirting with him a lot. He told me about her and how much he liked the attention. He was a virgin when we got together, and I was experienced.

He feels he didn’t get his time with hookups because he was busy living with trauma and going crazy from it. He’s been institutionalized three separate times over this trauma.

Now that he’s in a good place being married and having someone who is helping him fulfill his dreams, he wants to have se& with other women to get validation that he’s a man. He also said he’s absolutely disgusted by the thought of me with another man, and so it would only be him stepping outside the relationship.

Every time he brought it up prior to that, it was to tell me he gets so ho&&&y in public looking at women that he’s going crazy not being able to have s&% with any of them.

He said he feels like a freak around women for only seeing them as se&% objects. He swore on the truth that he only wanted to have threesomes, because it would make him feel like a man.

Last night he finally reveals that he actually wants to have s&% with women separately and often, and that he knows exactly who he wants right now.

All throughout these three months of fighting, I suspected he was cheating on me. I brought up p0&n usage, but he’s been watching po)%n even before we moved… so that couldn’t be it. He suddenly got really good at s&% one day, and then he suddenly had a very high libido like I’ve never seen in him before. This was while he was at that job with that 18 year old coworker.

He also told me that since the beginning of our relationship he’s been fantasizing often about other women he sees and that he felt bad that he wasn’t thinking about me. We go to see a marriage counselor Monday. Am I overreacting? Everyone I talk to says I’m not but he’s says I’m punishing him and that he’s struggling and I need to be more understanding. AITAH?

Let's see what readers thought.

rubspecialist writes:

NTA. Never open a shaky marriage. Especially on one side. That’s called cheating. Partners who push this are already cheating or have a specific person picked out. He sounds like he has a p&%n addiction and unresolved mental health issues. Neither of which justify cheating.

He sounds very unstable. Please respect yourself enough to walk away before there are children or property to untangle. You deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship. Move on and enjoy your life!

puzzleheadedtap writes:

NTA. I would skip the marriage counseling and file for divorce. The anger issues alone are enough to leave. Add cheating on top of it, whew girl I don’t know how you’ve stayed this long. It’ll only get worse. You deserve better.

biteme717 writes:

NTA, and if you stay with him, it's open for you to find and be with another man. With his attitude and behavior, I would tell him that you are going to file for divorce. I would also get tested for STDs just to be safe in case he's already cheating.

I wouldn't want him after everything he has said to you. I wouldn't even look at him the same way anymore, and I would want to leave and divorce him and never look back.

Looks like OP is NTA! Should she get out of this marriage? What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
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