Woman asks if she's wrong not to share garage with BF because it's her house.
AITA for using the single-car garage for my own car?
My boyfriend recently complained to me about the fact that I use my single-car garage for my car year-round. We live in a city with harsh winters and somewhat frequent vehicle thefts, so use of the garage is certainly a privilege.
Some details:
I bought the house we live in and pay for everything to do with the ownership aspect of it. We even have a legal agreement stating that it is my property alone.
He pays for half of monthly utility/grocery bills and not a penny into anything else for our home (no mortgage payments, property taxes, household supplies, renovations, maintenance costs, etc.).
I make significantly more money than him (but I'm far from being wealthy).
Our vehicles are very close in value.
His vehicle was given to him outright by a family member (used).
I saved up and bought my vehicle (used).
I was really shocked when this came up in conversation because I figured that it's very fair that I use the garage given that I bought both it and the car inside of it, when he basically lives here almost for free and has a car of similar value that cost him nothing to acquire.
I don't want to be one-sided on this so alternate views are appreciated. My initial response to him was an outright 'no' when the suggestion came up to share use of the garage.
Am I in the wrong for not wanting to share this garage use at all?
Questions, answers and comments:
ChameleonMami says:
Right now I consider him a grifter. I could never live with ANYONE and not pay rent. Why is he so special he doesn’t pay for housing? Don’t marry this guy.
Successful_Moment_91 says:
What does he do with his money if he doesn’t have a car or house payment? I hope he’s saving it but I have serious doubts
apajipet OP responded:
He doesn't have much leftover. I don't know everything about what he spends it on, but a decent chunk of it would be used up for gas, work supplies, his cell phone bill, personal hygiene supplies, medical expenses, and just personal spending stuff like movie tickets or clothing. I don't pay for any of that stuff other than occasionally treating him to things.
sunroadreader says:
NTA But the fact that you're looking down on him because he didn't pay for his car is ridiculous. That's the only part of your reasoning that falls flat, and it doesn't affect the overall situation.
apajipet OP responded:
That wasn't my intention but I can see how it might seem that way. I don't look down on him for not having paid for his car. I see it more as him having a much easier time getting these things for free than me. My family would never in a million years just give me a car.
bluueeey says:
Girl after you made point number one you didn’t even have to continue the post. That is your house and your privilege to use alone.
But I would ask this if you were my friend - do you see yourself with this man forever? I’m sorry but respectfully he seems like a glorified roommate that doesn’t even pay rent there.
apajipet OP responded:
You sound like a good friend. :( I have some difficult conversations ahead for sure.
jenniw3g says:
NTA but you pay for everything for the house and you split shared expenses? What exactly does your BF bring to the table except demands?? Does he do more than his share of household chores? Does he do maintenance on your car like oil changes and keeping the tires full? Does he cook most nights?
Those things matter bc if he is a really good boyfriend maybe you would want to let him park in the garage sometimes. However, if he contributes half or less in terms of cooking, cleaning, laundry etc., then He seems a bit entitled
apajipet OP responded:
Yeah, this comment is really striking a chord because those are very valid questions.
Max-Powers1984 says:
I’m not married either, but my gf has rights to the house. Lots of them where I live, virtually identical to marriage after a year of living together. Married or not.
apajipet OP responded:
We went through an attorney to have an agreement signed stating that the house is my property alone so it's a bit different for me. But we do have similar laws here in the absence of such an agreement.
oiler1996 says:
alright i feel thats a whole other can of worms lol, but maybe this can be a way to solve the issue, if he is willing to take on more and do them up to your standard then you will listen and try to compromise with the garage.
That could be a win for all, you get him to do more chores and properly, he gets the garage 2 days a week, or something like that
apajipet OP responded:
That's really smart... thank you so much for your input, I think there might be an opportunity here.
Max-Powers1984 says:
YTA Only because you don’t treat your spouse as an equal. I get you paid for it, I get that it’s yours. But sharing is caring, and if you are thinking about this as a long term relationship you are likely going to need to learn to share.
I may have bought my house, I may make the mortgage payments. But it and it’s contents are shared with my spouse, because that’s how healthy relationships work.
apajipet OP responded:
We're not married, this is my boyfriend. But I appreciate your viewpoint on this. I do want to be equitable.
Update from OP:
I want to say a sincere thank you for all of your comments, whether they are shooting me down or supporting my stance - I am a bit overwhelmed by the response and don't think I'll be replying to each one of them if there isn't anything to clarify but I want to express my genuine appreciation.
Some of what you are taking the time to share is really helping me organize my thoughts as I prepare to have a conversation about this with my partner.