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Woman asks for advice about boyfriend who treats his puppy better than her.

Woman asks for advice about boyfriend who treats his puppy better than her.


In a post in our AITA Facebook group, a woman asked for advice. Here's her story...

My boyfriend got a new puppy, one that I didn’t want at all, they are cute, but act like babies, which I also don’t want. we live together, and it was a “get over it or get out” situation. I stayed, hoping it wouldn’t be as bad as I thought it might be.

this puppy made me realize how much my boyfriend doesn’t give me any love or affection. I started realizing how he’d go all day without hugging me, kissing me, or spending any time with me, but would give this pup all the love in the world.

I had always begged him to go hiking with me and go to the park, he never would. now that he has a puppy, he does constantly. I can tag along but it never feels like “us” time, im basically third wheeling him and his puppy.

I asked him if we could just not have the dogs on the bed, as that’s the only time we spend together. he either works or plays xbox all day, so once he finally comes to bed that’s when we get to talk and watch shows or play a game together.

mind you, this puppy will poop and pee on the bed any chance she gets. i’m a very very clean person, but him, not so much.

he chose having the dogs on the bed over me. the main reason why the dogs being on the bed bothers me so much aside from her not being potty trained, is that he will have one dog on each side of him, and he’s constantly monitoring can’t even watch a show with them up there because he’s constantly telling them to stop biting, stop moving, etc. no chance at all for physical affection for me.

i’m just tired. apparently i’m leaving him and my house today because of it. I feel like I have no say in anything, and I have to go along with everything and be unhappy or leave for good.

i’m being treated as less than a dog. it hurts so bad. I try to explain to him that I just want time with him alone, and he doesn’t care. sad part is, I know he loves me. his way of showing love for me is buying me stuff, which I don’t really care about at all.

I would give up every little thing he’s got for me just for some cuddles and kisses and telling me he loves me. I feel like I have to beg for love and I come last to him constantly

Here's what people said in the comments:

JH says:

Imagine being jealous of a dog ...Not just a dog though,a puppy ​​​​​. I think your boyfriend done the right thing following his heart and I think you need to do the same and find someone who worships you,yourself and only you.

RRC says:

Sydney, my dear, I looked at your profile photo and see you're young. As a woman in her mid 50s I want you to hear this, You are enough. As you are, right now, you are enough and worthy of love. Don't twist yourself into a performing monkey to BEG for scraps of affection and attention. He is sending a message, I think your heart is hearing it.

For whatever reason you are being shown his heart. You can be thankful to these dogs for revealing it. Your paths have diverged. He doesn't have to be a bad person and you don't have to wait until you are just a nub of your former self to take action. We all want to be loved, but baby, this isn't it. Love yourself, choose yourself. Take action. Strength and courage.

NC says:

If you are constantly asking for some type of activity to do or affection because it’ll help you feel loved and your person NEVER does it, then that’s a really selfish person and you should leave.

BA says:

It sounds like you're jealous of a puppy, or puppies and that's pretty childish. My boyfriend is kind of the same way 'I wish you gave me kisses and cuddles the way you give our dog.'

But that's just not my love language, I love this man more than anything in the whole world but I DO NOT like being touched constantly and honestly, if someone is in my personal space for extended periods of time I get frustrated.

LW says:

It sounds like your love languages are incompatible. Sometimes these things happen where the love is there, it's just not expressed properly, and never will be. Find someone who will appreciate you and show love in a way that's going to raise you up, and you'll be so much happier.

MV says:

You said “you know he loves you”….. im kind of confused on where you see that love.. I would leave and never look back..

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