Daughter finds out she is dating her dad's ex, now she can't look at him. AITA?
'TIFU by telling my daughter her GF is my ex'
So I (40M) have a daughter (21F) who started dating her partner (30F) about a month ago. She called me to tell me about this new encounter when they went on her first date.
Her mother has not been in the picture since she was an infant, so me and my daughter are very close, and now that she is an adult, I can proudly say we have a great bond.
She has always been hard working and, after graduating high school, she decided to start working before choosing a college. About 6 months ago she moved out on her own.
About a year ago I met this woman in a bar, we had a few drinks and we ended up at her place. Things went well and after a few dates I decided to lay down what I wanted in a relationship. We discussed it and she wanted to have a kid, but I already had the pleasure of raising my daughter, and was unwilling to do it again.
So we decided to break it off.
I never told my daughter because it wasn't anything serious. Well, a month ago I got a call from my daughter telling me she went on an amazing date with a woman who she instantly connected with.
I was happy for her, and wished her the best with future encounters. Well, after a few weeks and several dates, they decided to make it official. So my daughter changed her relationship status on FB and posted a picture of her and my ex.
The wave of shock that rushed over me was to say the least, paralyzing. I didn't know what to do so I called my daughter and invited her over alone to talk.
Well, we sat down on the couch and I explained everything. As you would expect, she did not take it well at all. Especially because she and my ex planned on inviting me to a meal later in the week which would have been horribly awkward.
My daughter left shortly after and apparently talked to her GF. Once my daughter showed my ex a picture of me, apparently she knew right away and expectedly, they ended the relationship.
Now my daughter is a lot more distant from me and I assume it's because she needs the space, but how are we supposed to go back to normal after this? I doubt my daughter will look at me the same considering we could barley maintain eye contact after I broke the news to her.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Good on you for nipping this in the bud right away and not trying to hide it from your daughter. . . That your relationship is strong enough to be transparent with her like this is something you should be proud of yourself for.
The real TIFU would have been waiting until the dinner.
I have no helpful advice, but try to avoid saying anything like, 'our' ex.
'So, obviously we both have excellent taste in women...'
Neither of you are in the wrong for dating that woman. I'm sure she's just weirded out right now, but things will go back to normal. :)
The OP responded here:
Me and her both. Not really sure how to proceed from here.
You’ve already done the work- you have fostered a loving relationship with open communication. This too shall pass.