'AITA for telling my GF she's wrong about my family after she met them for Thanksgiving?'
"AITA for telling my GF she's wrong about my family after she met them for Thanksgiving?"
I invited my (29M) girlfriend (27F) to my family's Thanksgiving dinner. My mom, my aunt and my sister-in-law's are all the best cooks so they always take care of dinner and everything. My mom was so excited to meet my girlfriend that she [my mom] pulled my girlfriend in the kitchen to help. Everyone liked my girlfriend and I thought it was a good day but my girlfriend is mad at me now.
She got mad that all the women did the cooking and cleaning up while the men sat around and did "nothing". She asked me why I didn't try to help. My mom or any of my relatives never asked and I don't want to be in the way. It's nothing to do with women or men. The best cooks in the family make the dinner. It just so happens to be women who do it.
My girlfriend said she got pulled into cooking too and she didn't want to be rude to my mom so she said yes. It's because my mom was excited to get to know her but my girlfriend said my brother brought his new boyfriend to meet the family and he didn't pulled into helping. According to her my mom waited on him hand and foot but my girlfriend got put to work.
She's also mad at me because she kept coming out to see me and she was trying to get me to get her out of the kitchen but I kept "sending her back". I had no idea she wanted out and didn't want to help my mom and everyone.
AITA for telling her she's wrong when she basically made it out that my family treats men and women differently? My mom is a lawyer. My sister-in-law is an biologist. All of the women in my family are educated and have careers.
Women are not treated differently or as "less than". They just happen to be the best with cooking. My girlfriend won't talk to me or return my messages. She's overreacting right? I can't see why she's mad like she is.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
West_Butterscotch100 says:
"My mom is a lawyer. My sister-in-law is an biologist. All of the women in my family are educated and have careers. Women are not treated differently or as 'less than.'"
So despite working they are still the ones who do all the work at home... that's pathetic on all of the men. The very,very least you can do is clean up
jrubes_20 says:
The ladies are so good at what they do outside the home, they also get a full second job inside the home. But she’s overreacting, right? RIGHT?
CptKUSSCryAllTheTime says:
Are the women in your family the best at cleaning too? YTA. She wasn’t wrong.
uselessinfogoldmine says:
LOL!! YTA YTAH YTA BIG TIME. You’re also incredibly s3$ist as is your entire family. Wake up.
anonymousonlooker123 says:
OP is making excuses because it suits him to have the women do all the domestic work. He has no respect for his girlfriend and thinks her place is to serve.
The fact that all the women also have full time professional jobs is even more of a reason for the men to pitch in and help. Why do the men get to relax meanwhile the women have to cook and clean a gigantic meal?
The fact that she tried multiple times to “escape” the kitchen and you essentially shooed her back in is particularly irritating. I would have been fuming if I were your gf. Your family is old school and s&^ist, and yes, YTA.