Vegan woman shamed by BF's fam during 'bacon debacle,' she says, 'I hate body parts.'
When this woman feels like she was ostracized by her boyfriend's family, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for saying I don’t want to eat body parts?'
I (23 f) am with my boyfriend (24 m) for over 3 years now. His parents (mom and stepdad) and I have had our issues in the beginning but after about two years, they seemed to accept me and, even though I won’t forget certain things they have said about or towards me, I felt like it went uphill.
Five months ago, I decided to go vegan. My bf has been very supportive all the time (he even eats a lot vegan food now, too) and when we visited his parents, his mom would also prepare something for me to eat. I told her thank you and how much I appreciate that.
I’ve never commented their food or started a discussion about being vegan because I know it’s neither the time nor the place to do that. I realize they are not interested in it and I’m just glad that we get along tbh.
A couple weeks ago, my bf turned 24 and we had a bday-brunch at his parents house (with his sister and BIL). My bf provided the food and his mom, him and I prepared it together at their house.
My bf wanted to have everything on the table available in vegan, too. He wanted it not just for me but also for his family to try some if they wanted to.
Now, this happened: My bf also put bacon and “vegan bacon” on the table. At this moment, it’s his stepdad, his sister and me at the table when his stepdad loudly comments something about how stupid the idea of “vegan bacon” is and who even needed that nonsense.
I didn’t think much of it and responded to him, in the nicest voice I had, that vegan bacon was a great alternative if you like the taste of bacon but don’t like eating body parts. Now he’s furious complaining he hasn’t ever heard such nonsense as meat being called body parts and how stupid that was. Bf’s sister asked if he was fine and why he was so angry.
When we finally ate, I asked bf’s BIL for the egg salad (which was vegan too). So stepdad asked me if I’m now going to eat dead baby animals. I respond that technically there’s no baby unless the egg was fertilized but it wasn’t real eggs anyway.
This is when his mom steps in and says everyone should just eat their own food now and leave others alone.
A few days after this, his parents talked to my bf about it. Stepdad says he’s not happy with how things went and that I was being disrespectful towards him by: calling meat “body parts”. He argues that, if anything, it’s a cadaver not a body (because it’s an animal and not human).
Honestly, I think this is ridiculous. I admit I could’ve just ignored him maybe, but I don’t really see why I would sit there and let him talk like that (which in my opinion was disrespectful in the first place). My bf wants me to “fix” the situation.
I am ready to do that for his sake, but I honestly don’t think I am the one who owes an apology and I don’t want his parents to think it’s fine. All I think about this and especially his stepdad rn is like…play stupid games, win stupid prices… but maybe there’s different opinions on this. So, Reddit, AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
mushroom87 writes:
ESH. Dont try to tell me that you didn't mean 'body parts' in a negative, condescending and judgemental way. It's comments like that that make people think vegans are santimonious.
BIL and stepdad were jerks too - esp stepdad, who did start it - but they weren't too dumb to catch your thinly veiled insult. Calling bacon body parts is like calling vegan dishes rabbit food. Certainly not meant as a compliment.
bilancho writes:
NTA. I'm an avid meat-eater, half my family is in the butcher business, and I dislike preachy vegans as much as anyone. OP was not being preachy. FIL instigated this entire thing. His comments were unnecessary and rude, especially considering his son's gf of 3 years is a vegan.
And I see very little failing on OP's part here. Meat literally is body parts, that's not some kind of insult, that is the reality of meat. It's no more an insult than saying someone having a salad is eating plants. Anyone getting so bent out of shape over that just doesn't like to confront the reality of what they're eating.
sleepykoalabear writes:
NTA. A cadaver is defined as a corpse, which is a dead human body by definition, so dads wrong because cadaver makes the distinction between body and human body. It’s not your situation to fix.