Woman tells off nosy neighbor, 'act like the person of faith you claim to be.'

There is no drama quite like neighbor drama.

Living close to people means you run into each other on the most stressful of days, you can observe each other's daily habits, and power struggles can abound.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for telling the neighbors they should be nicer if they don't want trouble down the road.

She wrote:

AITA for telling the people renting land from my in-laws they should be nicer to me if they want to keep renting when my husband takes over the lease?

My husband and I, and his parents, live on their farm. We renovated it to make it a hobby farm again. There are three pastures: two my husband uses and the third we were repairing to use it. My ILs were aware of this. During our repairs, one of the neighbors asked my ILs about renting out the pasture because they had too many heads for the land they already had.

My ILs agreed because it was the 'right' thing to do according to their faith and it'd generate a bit more income for them before they moved. My husband and I weren't happy about it but stuck a pin in our plans to see how things played out until the end of the lease to see if something could be worked out to accommodate everyone.

We're now 3 months into this arrangement and it's been a nightmare. The path to the pasture goes right by our house since it's close to it. They have complained about my smoking the good stuff on my porch no matter what time I go out to smoke. They complain that I play music they don't want their kids to hear. They complain that we use our firepit which is about 50 yards from the pasture.

I reached the end of my patience yesterday: When I'm getting ready in the mornings or after a shower I walk around our house nude. My ILs house isn't anywhere in sight and we're tucked off our road going through the farm so our curtains are always open. If I see the renter's truck going over before I shower I either close the curtains or just get dressed.

No one was at the pasture yesterday when I took my shower and I didn't see the truck after so I just walked around the house for a while. After about 25 minutes there was a knock at the door. It was the neighbors.

They complained that I needed to be more considerate and 'act decent' by putting clothes on because I should be well aware by now they bring their kids with them to take care of the cattle, and they don't want their kids seeing that. Then they started about how they're paying good money to use the pasture and paid out of pocket to make it usable.

I stopped them there and told them they didn't do all the work to make it usable, it was already halfway done because of my husband and me.

I also told them, paraphrasing here, 'You don't own the farm, you're only renting one pasture so you've got no right to tell me what to do in and around my own house. Don't want to accidentally see something? Stop looking at our windows. If you want any chance of having your lease renewed after my husband takes over, stop acting so self-important, act like the people of faith you claim to be, and be nicer.'

They told my ILs about it who took it to my husband. He’s fine with what I said as he’s had his own issues with them, but we’re wondering if we should apologize to ILs and the neighbors to keep the peace if I handled it wrong. We'd like some outsider views, so AITA?

Additional info: We are not waiting for my ILs to die, nor is it a matter of 'if' he inherits but 'when'. Early inheriting is a thing that reduces the inheritance tax here and makes the transfer go more smoothly. They've already started the process for turning the farm over to my husband's ownership so that when they move in with BIL in 1-2 years its already done or at the very least, close to completion.

The internet had lots to say about the situation.

sdp82 wrote:

“Act like the people of faith you claim to be” - I love this. They’re just mad they got called out on their BS. NTA.

Eliju wrote:

This thread is wild. NTA-doesn’t matter who owns what. You can be naked in your own house and you can smoke weed if it’s legal in your state. And even if it’s not, still kind of a gray area. And I’ve never known a farm that doesn’t have a burn pit or the occasional bonfire or even a wood grill or stove or fireplace or something that otherwise makes smoke. I mean smoke kind of goes with a farm.

PinkPrincess61 wrote:

LOL...NTA. What nerve! They're leasing a pasture and want to have input into what happens around it? That's when you bring out the thong bikini and lay out. With a pitcher of wine, music blasting, and roaches nearby.

Edit to say: double check on the notification laws regarding agricultural leases. Where I'm from, folks have to be notified by a certain date that the landowner will not be continuing with the current lease-holder. If deadline is missed, you're locked in with the same people. We had to send a certified letter of notification to meet legal standards.

beanfiddler wrote:

NTA. You're both effectively your IL's tenants. What you do on your leasehold is your business and what they do on their leasehold is theirs. Only the ILs get a say because they're the landlords.

It's maybe a bit rude to point out that your husband will eventually be the landlord, but well, they started it by being snoops about what you do on your land. Maybe apologize to the ILs for not deescalating the drama, but the neighbors suck. They're tenants, not your landlords.

No_Pepper_3676 wrote:

NTA. Why do you need to keep the peace? You hold all of the cards. You need to be respected and if your neighbors can't do it, they need to not rent you pasture in the future. End of discussion.