Woman 'ruins' anniversary dinner after mom reveals she used to read her private love letters.

What sounds like a cute story to one person, can feel humiliating to someone else. It's all subjective.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she overreacted to her mom's anecdote at an anniversary dinner. She wrote:

"AITA for spoiling the fun at a dinner set up by my mom to celebrate my husband's and mine anniversary?"

Yesterday was my (36 F) wedding anniversary. My mom wanted to treat me and my husband so we went to a restaurant. My sister and her young son also joined in. We adults had a few drinks and were laughing and having lots of fun. Then the topic started of how I was secretly dating my husband before our marriage and how my mom found out.

She had told me that she saw changes in my behaviour and suspected I was dating someone. But yesterday she mentioned she read a love note I had written which she read. I don't recall writing any love note to my husband during our dating period, we would majorly communicate on Whatsapp. My husband started teasing my mom that she was reading my private messages and mom kept quiet and smiling.

Initially I thought they were just joking but it soon dawned on me that my mom really read my private messages. I felt very hurt betrayed and shocked. I was also irritated that my husband thought it was funny that my mom used to read my messages. I didn't find it funny at all, it upset me. We had finished the dinner and paid the bill by then so i ended the evening and made a move to leave.

I was upset with my mom for reading my private messages and with my husband for thinking its funny. My husband says I'm overreacting for something that happened years ago. My mom sent an apology message later. Now I feel like I ruined the fun for everyone. AITA?

Redditors jumped in the comments to respond.

FAFO-13 wrote:

NTA. Your mom violated your privacy. Doesn’t matter when it happened. Now you are stuck wondering what else she stuck her nose in. She deserves to know you are pissed. I would also make sure she knows you now no longer feel like you trust her.

OP responded:

I do feel that now. What else did she look into? Did she read my diaries I wrote when I was younger etc?

nikkiluck1 wrote:

NAH it’s fair that you felt like your privacy was invaded and it caught you by surprise to hear that in the moment. But it sounds like your mom is apologetic and I do agree that you should have confronted your mom about this after the dinner since it was an incident so long ago.

AlexisDanaan wrote:

NTA. That’s a major violation of trust. She didn’t just find something you carelessly left about, she went looking through your phone. That’s a terrible violation of trust! I would be mad too. It brings everything into question. What else is she lying about? Does she still snoop through your phone or other things?

Is she going through your stuff when you leave her alone in a room? This needs to be addressed, one on one, and your husband needs to stay out of it. This is between you and your mum.

medusacascade1970 wrote:

I get how you feel. My late mum read my private journal for years, thought she had every right to do it. Even after I was married, she’d pick up any mail I had from where I’d put it in the letter rack, open it and read it. Apparently it was as my fault, as “you shouldn’t have left it where I could see it”. She hadn’t a clue about privacy. Still upsets me 10 years after her death.

Mmm_hummus wrote:

NTA. Point out to your husband while it might have been years ago for them, for you it's fresh as you've only just found out. The news, hurt and feelings of betrayal are fresh and that you are entitled to your feelings. Plus you didn't ruin anything, you didnt cause a scene and everyone finished their meals. I'm glad your mom apologised.

OP is NTA here, it sounds like her mom majorly underestimated what a violation this would be.