Man pissed at roommate for 'overstepping boundaries' by sharing food with his GF.

When a hospitable roommate was being, well, hospitable, it turns into an ugly situation that he doesn't quite understand. So, he came to Reddit to ask:

'AITA (Am I the A-hole) for cooking food while my roommate's girlfriend was here & offering her some?'

darlingdearr writes:

I (21m) am from the south. I grew up in New Orleans and Texas. My mom runs a catering business and the majority of clients were either at home in Louisiana or in Texas. I add this to say that I grew up cooking and helping my mom cook for the business.

I was frying chicken and catfish when I could reach the stove and making gumbo and buttermilk biscuits at a very young. I'm currently in culinary school right now.

I've lived in a rented house on the east coast with my roommate (22m) for a year and a half. He's not a friend or anything. We just linked up because we both needed roommates in the area. He's good to live with and we watch shows and movies together. We hang out and go out for drinks sometimes.

OP sounds like an amzing roommate to have, if you like to eat, that is.

I always make friends easy because of being from the south and doing customer service related things since I was a kid. I know how to talk and charm and listen to folk despite being naturally more in the introverted spectrum.

My roommate has been seeing his girlfriend(20m) for like 6 months. I've met her before and seen her in passing. Roommate and his gf had a 2 week break from school things. She still lives at her parents, so she decided to stay here the whole two weeks.

I was just doing things as I would normally do. It got weird at first when I was about to go mow the lawn and the roommate stopped me and said he wanted to mow (I usually always mow.)

Weird, but have at it!

A couple of days later I was outside washing my car. I asked both of them if they wanted me to do theirs. She looked like she was going to agree but he looked at her angrily, so they declined.

But... why though?

I cook pretty frequently at home as well and usually let my roommate have some. So any time I'd make some I would say that they could have some, and this would get him pissed.

Weeks prior when she was here and we were all talking. She mentioned this specific kind of cheesecake that she really likes. So I made and sent out a group text that everyone could have it. My roommate got upset.

Surprise surprise.

I don't see anything as overstepping a boundary as this is how I treat him and all guests. The cheesecake is just common courtesy type thing to me. When his parents come over I make pound cake because they like it. If a guest is coming you get/make what they like. Nothing odd about picking up their favorite chips or making some tea when guests arrive. Just how I was raised.

The other day he told me how annoying it was to hear his gf talk about 'how good your roommate can fresh baked bread is.'

Ahhhh we are getting closer...

I'm not trying to make him look bad or anything. This is simply how I was raised. If I bake two loaves of bread I'm gonna leave it out for the house to eat.

Just want to say we generally have a good roommate relationship. We're not best friends but it's friendly enough. The only change has been when his gf is here. Feels like I can't even exist while she is here.

Here is some more things that upset him:

- I went to the grocery store and asked if anyone needed anything.
- I was frying chicken and offered the first/best pieces out the oil to them.
- I changed the oil to my own car.
- I used a smoker in the backyard to make brisket
- I cut and nailed some wood together in the garage.

Okay, this is definitely not a normal reaction. But maybe there's a deepr reason OP's roommate is behaving this way? And does it change who the a-hole might be?

Here's what Reddit had to say...

melyndru comments:

NTA (Not the a-hole). You are raising a bar he doesn't want raised by getting things done. He wants to pretend he is a better partner than he is. He also doesn't want you to highlight things he isn't interested in doing. In a way, you are unintentionally showing that he isn't the best partner material around. Keep doing as you are. He is being ridiculous.

Mountain_Minded406 asks:

INFO: How many times have you washed his car before?

OP:

If I'm washing my car and he is home I always ask if he wants me to wash his. And he says yes unless he is about to leave. So a lot.

DamianaSwan says:

NTA; your roommate is wildly insecure, is realizing that he isn't living up to your good example, and is terrified that his gf is noticing that. In his mind, the only logical solution is to... be mad at you for it.

sbinjax adds:

I have to admit, though, the 'no I wanna mow' thing made me laugh. What a manly man.

Danternas agrees:

Your roommate is a jellybean.

Looks like the roommate does have reason to be jealous of OP!

But that's not OP's fault. And if the GF likes OP better, maybe roomie should step up or get out of the way.