There's a fantastic episode of The Office dedicated to the exact drama currently exploding on Reddit today. When a pregnant Pam asks Dwight not to eat hard-boiled eggs in front of her, he cites his right to eat whatever he wants, peels an egg in her face, and proceeds to watch Pam throws up without breaking eye contact.
The following plays out in a home instead of an office, and is messy in a less literal sense. The father-to-be writes:
My girlfriend and I are expecting. We don't live together but we're waiting til the baby's born to figure out our living arrangements.
She's 4 months pregnant. There are certain smells that she just cannot tolerate and my roommate tends to cook some meals with a smell that causes her to be nauseous. That would result in her throwing up and getting sick.
I tried to speak to him about it but he got pretty defensive, saying he has a specific diet that he sticks to and that he didn't see how this was wrong. I cleared things up saying there was nothing wrong with what he was doing but asked him to just not cook those specific meal that have a smell that trigger my girlfriend's nausea.
He got upset and ranted about how he's a resident — unlike my girlfriend, who doesn't live here — and said that he can't even consider my request since she's here almost 4 days a week and stays til 10 pm.
I tried to discuss it with him and maybe figure out a compromise but he bluntly told me he doesn't owe me or my girlfriend any accommodations nor compromises. I thought that was unnecessarily rude and selfish of him.
He told me to 'deal with it' or tell her not to come which was offensive because she's my partner and she's pregnant and I need to make sure she's okay by seeing her weekly.
He's avoiding me right now. AITA? I figured it wouldn't be such a huge deal since it wasn't like I'm telling him to stop cooking at all, just when my girlfriend is over.
Additional info — I can't go to her place because she's currently living with her parents. I can't go over there because I'm not on good terms with them.
Call me crazy, but I would say that 'just had a baby' is the absolute worst imaginable time to move house.
What are you doing, 'we're waiting til the baby is born to figure out living arrangements'?? No, you have a baby coming, you need to figure out where tf y'all gonna live before it gets here.
You can't ban your roommate from cooking his normal meals.
Your GF doesn't have to visit you for most the week. You can go to her place. Or you can hang in your room if roommate is cooking something she can't handle.
But you don't get to make your roommates life revolve around your baby. He didn't agree to live with a pregnant woman.
YTA. Also, waiting until baby is born to 'figure out' living arrangements sounds like a bad idea. You need a plan now.
YTA Why on earth are you waiting to figure out living arrangements? This is a really dumb move. She is pregnant with your child, you're not going to have time to figure out a living arrangement once the baby is born.
Plus, the child should be brought home to a stable environment with both of you there. Right there, before anything else, this is just classically dumb. Also not your roommate's problem, it's yours. Again, this is why not sorting your own place out is just plain dumb. Don't project your problems onto your roommate.
YTA. You are asking your roommate to avoid cooking food he likes for more than half of the week, in his own home, for someone that does not live there. Get your own place, which it sounds like you will need in 5 months anyway or hang out at GF’s.
YTA. Another example of your selfish behaviour, not unexpected since you also think it's fine to have a baby and then 'figure out' the details later.
Ouch. Sucks to be OP. But he can always have his girlfriend try the Pam defense.