Woman kicks out roommate when her family says 'she's manly' so 'be wary.' AITA?
'AITA for calling my roommate's family a bunch of misogynists and asking her to move out?'
I (26F) am an Assistant Loco Pilot. A train driver in layman's terms. If you haven't already guessed, it's an extremely male dominated position, with women not being recruited for the job until around 20 years ago.
It wasn't my dream job. It was my father's job that I was offered by the railways after his accident in the line of duty and I had to take over for my family as the breadwinner.
On to the point. I live in a city away from home so I rent a flat with a younger woman who is studying. She studies for late hours so she doesn't have a problem with my crazy schedules as I have a ton of night duties that don't follow any shift system.
I do pay more rent because shes a student and I sort of inconvenience her with my schedule. However, recently after her family visited her and went back, she started being cold towards me. When I confronted her about it, she said her mother didn't like the way I behave and that I'm practically a man.
The way I 'behave' is wear a shirt and trousers pair (that's the uniform for it, in case it wasn't clear) to work and work on small electric projects during leisure time. That's something my father and I used to do when I was younger and it's a memory I hold of him.
According to my RM's mom, having such a job, dressing up like a man, working on 'man stuff' her words, not mine, practically makes me a man and that my RM should be wary of me, and the next thing I might start doing is drinking until late and having rowdy alcohol parties with my work buddies at the flat we share.
Even if it isn't my dream job, I take it seriously because I have two younger siblings, my mum and my grandparents to support. It's not obvious but the job gives a lot of physical and mental stress.
I said if that's the problem for her, maybe RM should be moving out of the flat to make her misogynistic family happy. The only reason we got the flat to rent is because I'm a government employee and I pay more share of the rent in compensation for the inconveniences.
My RM then called me an AH and other profanities because she can't find a place so soon as she's a student and it's unfair of me to ask her to move out because of her 'old fashioned' family.
Here were the top comments from readers:
NTA - def get rid of her. If she acted cold towards you when she got back that means she agrees with her family’s views and you do not need that toxic and negativity in your life.
First of all: Mad respect for taking the responsibility for your family and to persevere in an environment that might not always be particularly comfortable and friendly towards you. Good on ya, love. You're an inspiration and a role model for all of us. NTA, obviously. Let her leave, her family left your relationship permanently damaged.
NTA. Send her on her next train out of town. Whoo Whoo.
NTA. Please remove the roommate she sounds really toxic, especially the last part. And in case no one says it, you are amazing for what you have done in order to support your family.
Nta if she's trying to 'be wary' of you, she should move out.