Woman asks for advice dealing with roommate who 'borrows' car but never fills gas.
'AITA for leaving my car on E so my roommate can’t use it?'
So, for context, my (21f) roommate (23f) and I have been friends for a couple of years and just moved in together this summer. Before we moved in, we had the conversation about bills and all that, and had agreed to split everything 50/50.
Fast forward to just days after we move in, her car breaks down and she asks if she can use mine while it’s being fixed. I had no issue with this and allowed her to use it just asking she help with gas, which she said she would do.
After about a week, it was determined that her car wasn’t worth fixing, so she junked it while I was at work, and told me when I was off that she had done so. I’ll admit, I was a little stressed as I’d been the one paying for most of the gas despite driving less than her, and on top of that she hadn’t even asked if it was okay for her to sell her car, just assuming she’d continue to use mine.
It’s been a few months since then, and I’ve gotten to the point where I have to wake up and tell her if I have a doctor’s appointment, work, etc because she’ll just be out with my car without saying a word to me. I also have gotten in my car at 5:30am for work and found it below E multiple times, and I haven’t always had money then to fill up my tank.
Anyway, I’m extremely stressed out, so I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but she gets upset and blows me off. She even lied about putting gas in as well when I brought up that me and her bf are the only ones putting in gas, despite her using my car way more than I do.
Tonight was the final straw though. She picked me up from work as she’d used my car during the day, and she told me she had family stuff tomorrow and I need to ask my dad for a ride home from work. My dad lives about 45 minutes away and has no reason to come to the town I live in. Let alone just to give me a ride home.
I pointed this out and she seemed unhappy with that answer, saying she’d see if she could find a ride but she can’t promise anything.
She already owes me a good chunk of money for gas, and at this point and I can’t handle the additional stress from having to constantly be left on E, not having my car to run errands, go to work, the extra gas money, etc. So, someone suggested I just only put enough in to drive myself to work and home.
I feel though like doing this might make me TA though because I did originally let her use my car, and the plan was even that I’d sell mine to her and get myself a newer one (this hasn’t happened yet), as I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.
Also, I do make more than her as work between 40-60 hour work weeks while she works between 10-16, so she doesn’t have much to contribute while still having spending money. (Both of our schedules are by choice).
My bills are also much higher than hers (including car insurance which she doesn’t pay for), hence why I work much more than she does.
I didn’t put gas in tonight despite being at a quarter tank, and I’m not planning to till I’m on e and need to get to work. So, AITA?
Comments:
boomerang_act asks:
Insurance? What about insurance?
fallinglikeflowers says:
She’s been added
OkAirport6454 says:
Your problem is you think she's your friend. She is not. She is taking as much advantage of you as she possibly can. And she is succeeding. Adding her to your insurance?? That's outright insanity.
Your bills are already higher, and you burdened yourself with more for HER SAKE when she has yet to agree to your terms or pay you a single cent. I have a far easier and cheaper solution for you; every time she takes your vehicle without your express permission, call the f**king cops. If she does it again, press charges. She is abusing you, she is not your friend, period.
Initial-Cry-8812 says:
STOP LETTING HER USE YOUR VEHICLE. Take the keys, hide them, lock them in your room, whatever. Do NOT let her continue to use your vehicle.
Why would you run such a convoluted scheme and why won't you stand up for yourself? Do not leave your car on E. Make her give your key back and tell her she can't use your car anymore because she doesn't respect you.
viotski says:
Because OP is just a doormat and needs to learn how to talk to people / say no, instead of venting to strangers.
ToastAbrikoos says:
She knows she has the upperhand as you are scared for conflict, therefor it is not her issue and she can abuse your kindness for another day.