Parent 'screws over' PTA for switching fundraiser to support football instead of cheer.

'AITA for screwing over all the people who donated their time and money?'

The PTA has been planning a fundraiser for months to raise money for new cheerleader uniforms. The old uniforms are very outdated, and all the kids are excited about getting new ones, including mine.

Early in the planning I agreed that my property could be used at no cost for the event, and that I would provide all the furnishing. Other people worked hard on buying/making items to be sold at the fundraiser. Some people spent upwards of hundreds of hours and/or dollars for the event.

At a recent meeting, the football coach said the equipment was badly worn out and needed to be replaced ASAP. A vote was held, and the majority voted that this fundraiser would be for the football team instead of the cheerleaders. I was pissed.

Football is always the top priority. I went above and beyond here specifically to help out the cheerleading team. My child and all their friends on the team got their hopes up only to be dashed.

I told everyone my property would no longer be available for use, and they would need to find a new venue. People panicked and got very angry, including several people who voted against the change.

They said my decision was equivalent to throwing all their hard work in the trash. I asked them how they thought the cheerleaders would feel. They said it was a vote, and I was acting like a dictator, that I can't overrule the will of the majority.

I said they can do what they like, but not on my property. I know they won't be able to find a venue this late, especially not at an affordable price. I understand I screwed over my friends, burned bridges and am likely going to be kicked off the PTA. I just can't bring myself to help them. Am I a spiteful ahole?

Q&A with OP:

Time-Cheesecake-9054 asks:

Info: did you offer them to rent the venue at market price?

ptawoesandtrials OP responded:

No. I don't want them to use my property anymore.

BadBandit1970 asks:

INFO: I'm curious. What grade level is? Why is the PTA even involved? Most high school sports and activities have booster clubs that handle the fundraising and distribution of funds. PTA isn't even involved.

If the softball booster club plans and hosts a fundraiser and baseball needs money for uniforms, they just can't take it from us.

ptawoesandtrials OP responded:

High school. It's a small school, so everything is through the PTA.

Funny247365 writes:

YTA. If you had a child on the football team you would be OK with the change. Football is the main reason your child can be a cheerleader in the fall. Football players need quality gear for safety more than anything.

Cheerleaders need uniforms for appearance only. Football gear is used by the whole team. A cheerleader uniforms is worn by one person. Football also brings in the most revenue from concessions and ticket sales. Easy decision by the PTA.

ptawoesandtrials OP responded:

Cheerleading doesn't rely on football. It is its own sport. In fact, since I've never seen a football player at a cheerleading competition but see cheerleaders at every football competition, I'd say you have it backwards.

In response to a deleted comment denigrating cheerleading ptawoesandtrials OP responded:

Cheerleading is an incredibly difficult physical feat and just as worthy of admiration as any other sport. I would politely suggest learning a little bit more about cheerleading. Obviously my point of view is clear, and anything I say will come off as biased. But looking at some academic sources might be enlightening.

Here's how people judged OP:

Abcdezyx54321 writes:

NTA. I would make it clear that the use of your property and the furnishings were YOUR DONATION to the cheerleading team. As the fundraiser is no longer for this same team, your donation is not applicable.

Direct_Photograph_94 writes:

NTA. This was a bait & switch. You agreed to having a fundraiser for the cheerleaders at your property, not the football team.

Heloise_Morris writes:

NTA. 'I said they can do what they like, but not on my property.' Damn straight! The PTA may vote to redirect the funds and change the purpose of the fundraiser. However, you have every right to reconsider your contribution because your offer was contingent upon a fundraiser for cheerleading outfits not football uniforms.

'They said it was a vote, and I was acting like a dictator, that I can't overrule the will of the majority.' Acting like a dictator? It's your property. You didn't try to overrule the will of the majority, you withdrew your contribution due to a change of circumstances. The entitlement of some people is astounding.

Bitter_Detective_952 writes:

A dictator would more likely force someone to give up their property to the majority rather than allowing her to have her private rights. So yeah, dumb comment on part of the pta member.