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'AITA for not letting someone I hurt in school think I’m doing badly in life?'

'AITA for not letting someone I hurt in school think I’m doing badly in life?'


'Am I the a$@^ole for not letting someone I hurt think I’m doing badly in life?'

Here’s some backstory: I’ve always been thin. When I was in 4th and 5th grade I was in a clique of your typical mean girls. We were all thin and pretty or at least the boys made us feel like that. We were very popular ar among the boys. This made us really mean.

We were arrogant a%$#oles who thought the world revolved around us. There was this girl named Kristy (not her real name) who was on the heavier side and we weren’t the nicest to her. We used to make fun of her and exclude her from things, and even made other people exclude her.

The boys used to pretend to like her and make fun of her when she admitted she liked them. We made her school life really hard. Ik that. Eventually, we all went to middle school and I went to a private school with an advanced program so I was no longer hanging out with the clique.

Kristy did go to middle school with them but I hadn’t heard anything since. I went through middle school and got my act together. Grew out of the mean girl phase and got some decent friends. I went on to graduate college and open my book store/ cafe. I hadn’t even thought of my elementary school friends or Kristy in many years.

Until about a week ago, that is. My book store isn’t really busy so usually it’s just me and one other person there. I run the cash register and the coffee orders. The other person is in the kitchen. We had a group of women come in about my age. I was friendly, but one of the them was cold and rude straight off the bat.

If you work customer service, it’s normal so I brushed it off. I look pretty similar to how I did in elementary school. My face hasn’t really changed. I’ve gotten taller and puberty happened. Once it was time for them to get the check, the rude women came up and to pay and told me, “ guess karma does exist .“

I was confused and asked what she meant. She was like, 'bullies usually get away with their actions but looks like you weren’t very successful.' She told me I bullied her in elementary school and that my friends continued to do so in middle school. My heart dropped once I realized this was Kristy.

I apologized for how I treated her and told her it wasn’t fair she suffered through that. I even offered to comp their bill. Kristy said no to the comp, but wanted to speak to my manager or owner so they could know what kind of person they hired. I told her I was the owner and that again I was very sorry.

She flipped out after I told her this. She said she went to years of therapy to help her self-esteem. She suffered through most of her teens and to this day has trust issue in her relationships. She was screaming that bullies shouldn’t succeed and that I didn’t deserve a good life.

Her friends triedd to get her to leave once she flipped out. They tried to apologize because they didn’t know me, but I told them it was fine and that the bill was on me. My cook came out and was threatening to call the cops because Kristy looked like she would get violent, but I told him it was fine.

Eventually the group managed to get her out. I closed my shop for the rest or the day. I was shaken and I just wasn’t in the right mind set to be there. Now Aita for not getting someone else to pretend to be manager and let Kristy think I failed in life?


Yes, the cook got paid the full day. So do not be concerned

A lot of you have been asking what we actually did. So I’ll be clear we never laid a hand on her. A lot of it was name calling, all about her being fat. We’d get rest of the class to wear a certain color for a day and have everyone tell her a different thing so she’d be the only not included.

We’d make pig noises when she talked. Or just ignore her and the other kids would join until she cried. If we knew a boy liked one of us, we’d have them pretend to like her and then make her cry to show how much they liked us. When she was running, we’d pretend there was an earth quake. I remember all these things. I don’t enjoy it. I don’t recall it laughing. It’s not a fun memory.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

GoldenGoof19 writes:

NTA. People are allowed, and encouraged, to learn and grow. I’m sorry for what she went through, and it sucks so much that she hasn’t fully healed from that. But… she wanted to speak to a manager to try to get you, an adult, fired for something you did in elementary school… that doesn’t say good things about who she is as a person now…

I was bullied, and I ran into one of my bullies when she was working retail for a large chain. She checked my stuff out for me. I knew who she was, but I pretended not to and interacted with her the exact same way I always interact with anyone helping me. Asked how her day was, thanked her, wished her a good day and moved on.

Because a) working customer service isn’t a bad thing, b) I have no idea what’s going on in her life and no desire to make things worse for her if she was going through something, and c) why would I show someone who hurt me that they’re still affecting my life now?

The one thing I’d be VERY worried about is if she might try to harm you or your business. I’d check all the review sites to see if strange reviews pop up. I’d write down the date and time this happened, what happened, and if you have security footage I’d save it somewhere just in case.

If you have security cameras and an alarm, cool. If you don’t have them on the inside and the outside of your store then I’d consider getting them.

OP responded:

My cook brought this up to. We are secured and we will check all the review pages .

OlyNorse writes:

No. You were honest. I feel sorry for her and you. Your younger self was an a*&#ole but people are allowed to change and sounds like you changed for the better. Sounds like you mean girls really did a number on that girl. Just keep being a better person as you seem to be doing.

hi_hola_salut writes:

You and your friends were really mentally cruel to her. Sounds like your old friends kept it up. I’m glad you understand what you did and feel bad. To her, it really isn’t fair that the people who ruined her life are now having a great life. I get that. I also get that people change. It’s a shame that she is not doing better, despite the therapy.

Not much you can do but feel remorseful for your part in this. I wish we could slap little bullies round the head and let them see the long term damage they do to their victims. It might save a lot of heartache.

You didn’t need to lie to make her feel better. You had no idea she would freak out like that on you. She should’ve continued to give you the cold shoulder and not stooped to trying to get you in trouble at your work. That was low of her. NTAH

Longjumping-Buy-4736 writes:

People who think so low of others for working a cash registers are AH.

Sources: Reddit
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