Woman sick of bully sister, tells everyone her embarrassing diaper secret. AITA?
She was tired of trying to hold it in.
One woman was sick and tired of her sister constantly putting her down. She says she would belittle her in front of family and talk down to her in front of her friends. Well, one day, she decided she had finally had enough and screamed in front on her sister's friends that she was had an embarrassing secret under her pants.
AITA for revealing my sister's illness to her friends because she was shaming me in front of them?
I've (20F) just been through a very difficult time with my sister Julie (23F), and I'm afraid that this will definitely ruin our already very difficult relationship.
Here's the background : I'm currently living with my parents while I finish my studies, and because of some financial problems (she lost her job because her company went bankrupt) Julie has temporarily moved back in with us.
For several years our relations are complicated, and the cohabitation is difficult. I think we're both responsible, but I feel like I've been making a lot of effort lately to work things out while she continues to put me down constantly.
Important thing : my sister has had a bladder problem for several years and almost no one knows about it. I don't have the details, but she has trouble holding it in and has to wear diapers.
I really feel sorry for her because she seems to be suffering from it (she often runs to the bathroom all of a sudden or looks visibly embarrassed, which also makes her very aggressive but I can understand that).
Yesterday she is at home with 2 friends. I go into the room, greet her nicely and as usual she puts me down and tells me : 'I know you think you're in a hotel here but you can thank me, I washed your mug that was lying around.'
I thanked her so as not to make her even more angry, and she continued in the same tone, telling her friends in front of me 'Frankly, my parents never sheltered me as much as they did her. I don't know how she's going to do when she's on her own! I mean, if that ever happens, she doesn't seem to be in a hurry to finish her studies.'
It was too much for me. This was one gratuitous criticism too many, I felt the anger rising and I said to her coldly 'Are you maybe so aggressive because you are anxious that everyone will discover you wear diapers?'
I immediately regretted my words, I was no longer myself and I was in tears because every day she puts me down like that. Julie stood up, red with shame, and came over to yell at me before telling her friends to leave.
Since then we don't talk anymore and I don't know what to do. I think I did wrong, but at the same time I feel like it was my only tool to counteract her attitude towards me.
Here was the verdict from Reddit readers:
NTA. Sister pushed the wrong button once too often. Over do.
ESH. Your sister was way out of line with her nasty criticism. But you went miles too far. This was far beyond sibling fighting, this was below the belt and a serious violation of medical privacy.
NTA she found out not to play with fire with a diaper full of kerosene.
ESH - She's out of line and needs to get herself in check. She may very well need therapy or counseling to address the issues she is having from her medical conditions. HOWEVER, you really went to the nuclear level by outing her personal medical condition to others.
That was not appropriate and you owe a significant apology for that. That's not to excuse her nasty behavior in any way--she also owes apologies and improvement. Frankly, it sounds like the whole family could use some counseling.
Your poor parents. I think you both have some growing up to do IMO.
Sorry but no. Poor parents, please. I can't believe the parents are oblivious of the behavior of these two. They should have nipped this in the bud a long time ago.