GF learns BF's parents are gay, rips her parents away before they can meet. AITA?
AITA for not telling my girlfriend that my parents are gay?
I'm 25M, i have two parents. My birth dad (John) who's 48M and my other dad Dwayne who's 45M. I call my birth dad John, 'Dad'. And I call my other dad Dwayne, 'Pops'.
My birth dad John was married to my mom for a few years, then she left my dad and yeah. They ended up divorcing and now she's somewhere in California, idk where or what she's doing. Haven't talked to her in ages. So dad, and pops i'm super close with.
They are the best parents any child could ask for. I love both of them and they've always been with me. My dad introduced me to pops when i was a little boy and they had told me they were in a relationship (and i was all for it because i had saw my dad become lonely/sad when he was single) so seeing the fact that my dad loves someone and has a life partner made me super happy.
Pops & Dad got married, and we've been living an amazing life. I'm probably more to close to Pops then my own dad haha. Due to the fact that Pops is really cool and he's laid back. I love both of them equally and they love me as well, and i'm blessed to have them as parents.
For a few months i've been dating this girl bella who's my age. I thought she's pretty cute and i liked her. So we kicked it and recently she told me 'My parents want to meet your parents and want to come over for dinner' I said sure. I'll tell my family.
So yesterday, Friday night. Bella comes in. Pops greets her and says 'Come on in sweetheart, dinner is ready'. She says 'You must be ____ dad so good to meet you' and she shakes his hand and she sees Dad come out of the kitchen 'He's holding the mac n cheese tray' with the mittens and is putting it on the table.
Then bella says 'Who's he?' i said, 'Oh that's my dad'. She said 'I though he's your dad' she's referring to Pops. I say yeah. That's my pops? And that's my dad? She pulls me to the side and says 'I didn't know your parents are gay? Oh my god? why didn't you tell me?'
I genuinely didn't know why, that'd be an issue or so. Because your dating me, not my parents and all. So it shouldn't matter. But i guess it's a concern for her. Her parents come at the door after they parked the car and bella tells her parents 'let's leave' and they left.
I told my parents i'm sorry and they said 'son don't worry this is nothing new haha' and then we all sat down and enjoyed dinner and went to sleep. So AITA for not telling?
Here are the top comments from readers:
NTA. But perhaps naive. Unfortunately it's probably better to let a girlfriend know you have two dads so you can weed out the homophobes BEFORE you accidentally bring them home for dinner. :(
NTA, did she ever tell you her parents are straight?
INFO: You’ve dated this girl for months. How has the subject of parents never come up? After my parents divorced, Dad met Pops & Pops raised me as his own. Seriously, what did you two talk about?
Let's get this out of the way, Bella and parents are terrible people. Be happy you dodged that bullet. That said, isn't it normal to give your partner some kind of briefing before meeting your parents for the first time? Names, superficial personal details, something?
Yeah, I'd give anyone meeting my parents a heads up 'hey you'll be meeting my mom and her boyfriend. I don't have contact with my dad.'
Not because my family is wrong or shameful but why would you not just give basic info so no one is surprised? It seems like OP set up some kind of 'gotcha' moment to 'catch' his girlfriend... which works in this situation since apparently she is homophobic.
But even someone who isn't homophobic is going to be surprised that you didn't mention she'll be meeting two dads, not a dad and a mom. Why wouldn't you set your partner up for success?
NTA. You just dodged a bullet, take this as a life lesson. Sometimes the trash takes itself out. You and your family sound lovely, I'm sure you'll meet someone that will adore your pops and dad as much as you do someday.