'AITA for recording my parents' convo and posting it online to expose their favoritism?' UPDATED

"AITA for exposing my parents' favoritism?"

My parents have always favored my younger brother. I was by no means unloved. But it was blatantly obvious who they cared about more. I worked a part time job to get my first car, but my brother got one as a present. It wasn't new, but was much newer than my car. It was the same with just about anything else, like clothes, video games and cell phones.

I'm 18 and am taking a gap year before community college to work a full time job and save money for tuition. But a while back I heard my parents talking about how much they were going to pay for my brother's tuition. I secretly recorded the conversation from around the corner and then came out asking my parents why they were gonna pay for my brother's college, but not mine.

They didn't notice my phone was recording and just said that my brother needs more help. I asked how so when I wasn't getting any sort of scholarship, and he likely wouldn't either. Then I asked a few more questions about why things have always been this way.

They got mad and my father told me that perhaps it's time I moved out because they are sick of keeping a roof over my head. I pointed out I pay rent. But they didn't care.

I left the room and in a fit of rage uploaded the video to two different social medias I have and ranted about how this is how my parents have always been. Well a few hours my parents were pounding at my door. My dad was screaming at me about how I made them look bad. We fought some more and they left the room fuming.

My grandparents contacted me later and said they were appalled, then came to visit with a lot of the family the next day. There was a huge family intervention and my parents were made to sit on the couch and look at their feet while being told off. It was then I found out they'd been receiving money for years from my grandparents to help with family expenses.

My brother looked like he didn't know what to do. So he sided with the rest of the family and said he's noticed how I'm treated as well. My parents gave me a huge apology that sounded forced.

My grandparents have offered that I come live with them soon and will cut off the monthly payments to my parents, my father told me I should have never told the rest of the family and now won't talk to me, and my mother has been crying for days. So I'm starting to wonder if I went to far. So AITA for exposing my parents favoritism?

Do you think he did anything wrong? This is what top commenters had to say:

Ok-Mode-2038 said:

NTA. Your parents are just pissed because people know the truth about them and they’re no longer going to be receiving handouts from your grandparents. That’s what they’re really upset about: losing the free money. Go live with your grandparents. They sound awesome with how quickly they backed you.

LoveBeach8 said:

NTA ALL THE WAY!!! As someone who was cast aside because my parents favored my younger sibling over my brother and I, I applaud you loud and clear! Go live with your grandparents if that's what you want or go stay with friends. I have a feeling you're going to be just fine and excel at whatever career you choose! You didn't "go too far." You conquered!!!

QuinGood said:

NTA. Go live with your grandparents, save your money and get your education. YOU didn't cause this - they did. Good Luck and Hugs

sweet101trash said:

NTA, they were given monthly payments for FAMILY expenses not their favorite child expenses. Plus if they didn't do anything wrong, they wouldn't be upset about you telling the rest of the family nor would there be an intervention. Favouritism is horrible and causes a lot of damage.

I mean you are getting kicked for asking why your little brother was getting help and you weren't. I hope you take your grandparent's offer to move out and save money to pay tuition fees. Oh, and don't feel guilty about anything. Your parents made this bed and they have to lay in it not you.

Nikki3to said:

NTA don’t feel bad for those crocodile tears. They are not sad that they treated you poorly and favored one kid over the other, they are sad that they are being cut off from further financial help and that their shitty actions were exposed. They made their bed and now they can lay in it. Go live with your grandparents, save your money and get your education.

I’m glad you have family members that will care for you the way your parents should have been caring for you but chose not to.

Verdict: Absolutely NTA.

A few days after their original post, he shared this update:

I decided to go ahead and call my grandparents to accept their offer to move in. During the phone call I asked them why there was monthly payments being sent to my parents. Turns out my parents were living beyond their means for a while because my mother quit her job to be a full time stay at home mom.

My grandparents decided to help out by sending them money monthly to help with my parents mortgage and also to set aside some of that money for college savings for both my brother and I that was to be split evenly. Turns out my parents only planned to put that savings towards my brother's college.

And that's also how they bought his car as well. So from now on my parents are now on their own financially. Likely my mother will have to go back to work to help my dad keep up the mortgage.

I confronted my parents and asked why they've always treated my brother as the favorite. Then asked if there was something I needed to know. Turns out there was...NOTHING! Literally nothing! I'm not an affair baby. Not even an unplanned pregnancy! They just liked my brother more! I was mad as hell and we argued a lot before I left the room because I'd had enough.

My grandparents showed up on Saturday with a moving truck. My parents were floored when we started bringing in boxes to pack. My father got in our way and I reminded him how he said that I should move out, so I am.

My mother cried some more and said that my father was just angry in the moment when he said that, and they had been counting on my rent money to help with my brother's college fund. I asked if that meant he would never have had to pay rent like I did when he turns 18.

My father then said that since I was taking a gap year to work, then my rent money could have helped my brother. Which means they never intended for him to get a job while going to college.

My grandpa was enraged and confronted my father, saying he raised him better than this. He chewed him out saying he's never been more disappointed in him, and they will no longer receive any more financial support.

Then said he'd disown them both if they ever tried to retaliate against me for exposing them. My father backed down and neither he or my mother said another word to me. I had a bit of an awkward conversation with my brother as we said our goodbyes to each other. And that was it. I just got in my car, waved and drove off.

I'm now fully moved into my new room at my grandparents' house. It's a little smaller, but nice. And my grandparents are very welcoming. I'm going to keep working hard to move forward from here and I appreciate everyone's support.