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Man lets trans brother move in after parents reject him, GF gets mad, 'I don't want a teen.'

Man lets trans brother move in after parents reject him, GF gets mad, 'I don't want a teen.'


Ideally, you'll never have to choose between a romantic partner and a sibling. But life isn't always ideal.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for telling his GF that his loyalties lie with his baby brother. He wrote:

"AITA for telling my girlfriend that my loyalties lie with my baby brother?"

My little brother recently moved in with me. It was a huge shock at first, my brother (Will, 17) is FTM. I (M34) had no idea he was trans or even questioning his gender, he always seemed perfectly happy as a girl, y'know he was very feminine presenting and all. Turns out he came out to our parents after getting his hair cut and they didn't take it well in the slightest.

From what he's told me, he wasn't exactly kicked out, they just started being unbearable. They were calling him 'Myla' in every sentence they said (just to annoy him i suppose), mum kept booking him in for appointments to get hair extensions and his lashes done, our dad didn't let him wear the male uniform to sixth form and so on.

It got so bad that he literally took a train from down south to up the north to ask if he could live with me. Of course, I said yes. The house is big enough to have him live there, there's four bedrooms and an attic room. My girlfriend (Nico, 32) was irritated when she found out. We've discussed her moving in before Will came and now she's telling me that she will not move in until Will leaves.

I've explained to her that Will isn't a child we'd have to constantly supervise, that if anything he's the one making the place more livable (he's very insistent on adding on to the home decor and so on, as well as being better than me at cleaning.), and that the house is large enough to still have privacy even with him around.

Nico's argued that it's not truly 'ours' if Will is always there, that we won't be able to start trying to conceive, that she's not willing to live with a 'hormonal and rebellious' teenager and that she's just flat out uncomfortable with Will being near her and living with her and her son (M10) in the same home.

Ultimately, I've told her that my loyalties lie with my baby brother, who is homeless and vulnerable, unlike the grown woman with a good paying job and a home of her own. She's called my mum up to complain about it and she's said that i was in the wrong for prioritizing Will, and Will himself said that he doesn't want to be 'causing problems' in my relationship.

Redditors had OP's back.

Summer-Sunbeam wrote:

NTA, I love that you are protecting your brother. Have to say I’m rather confused that your girlfriend has a younger child to look after and expects you to welcome that child, but can’t extend the same to you AND goes running to your unaccepting parents to make you toe the line.

OP responded:

I guess she thinks like that because her son is her son and my brother is just 'extended' family. Which is absolute bulls#$t, my brother's the closest person to me.

Aposematicpebble wrote:

She called your mommy? Really? What's up with that? Lol

NTA. Why were you trying to reproduced with her, anyway?

OP responded:

I guess she assumed i'd just go 'yes mammy, you're right.' lol

Well, we've been together for five years and i do want to be a dad, so it seemed right at the time.

wetcherri wrote:

NTA. Your girlfriend sounds like a huge transphobe, based on your "traditional" comment. What exactly is she going to do if your future children turn out to be trans? Is this really the kind of woman you want to be with? Someone who thinks your parents treatment if their son is okay? Y T A if you stay with such an awful woman. You and your brother deserve better.

Savings_Watch_624 wrote:

NTA. I think it is good that this has come up now as it allows you to judge somewhat more about your girlfriends character before living with her. I'd ask her what exactly the thinks you should do with your minor and vulnerable brother?

OP responded:

Well according to her, Will should just suck it up and go back to his parents, wait out the few months til he's eighteen.

OP is clearly NTA here, his GF however, has some major (transphobic) flags.

Sources: Reddit
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