Being financially taken advantage of is NOT okay, it doesn't matter who is doing it.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a teen asked if she was wrong for screaming at her parents for saying they'd dip into her college savings to help her brother. She wrote:
I (15 F) screamed at my parents for trying to pay off the loan my brother (19M) had taken from the bank to purchase a new car that he can't pay back. I know they're just trying to help to help my brother get on his feet now that he's left home. But it 's been my dream since I was very little to be a pilot, and the training for it is very costly.
So every little piece of money I've made I've been putting into a bank account to save. I've even started working two jobs of babysitting and helping out in a local café. Two weeks ago, my brother brought himself a brand new car with a loan that he got from the bank and now he's telling my parents he can't pay it back. He doesn't have a job and my parents pay for his college accommodations.
When I heard this I didn't think much about it and offered too bring his c.v. into a couple of places in town and see if he could get a job. Last night my parents told me that they were going to take the money from my account to pay for his loan and I was furious with them.
I screamed and called them AHs and said that they didn't care about me at all because they never supported my dreams (I am the only girl in my family with a younger and older brother). I haven't spoken to my parents since then. I feel like all my hard work has gone down the drain and I will never get to accomplish my dream.
My relationship with my brother was good before this and I know that his bad financial decisions were not intended to harm me but I'm still angry with him and my parents for behaving like this.
I’d love to know this magical financing company that gave an unemployed 19 year old a loan. That’s not how banks work. I’ve been at my job for 10 years and earn 6 figures and the dealer had to go through 14 banks before they could find one that would approve me, even when I was paying over 40% in cash, up front.
My uncle works at the bank my brother got the loan from and I assume that my brother got my parents to co-sign the loan. If you do work at the bank do you have any advice as to what I can do?
NTA- but stop putting money into that account. It will be stolen from you and given to both of your brothers. And start planning for a life away from them, because as the only girl, your parents and your 2 brothers will be coming after you with their hands out for the rest of your life.
I absolutely do not think my brother thought for one second that this would affect me and I'm not sure if he knows what my parents are planning. I have tried to contact him but it is late. I'm not blaming my brothers for my parents' own personal ideals as we have always been close.
OP you need to tell someone else. Another relative. A grandparent. Someone at school. Someone else needs to know, please.
It's very late here in my country but I have texted my godparents separately. My relationship with both sides of the family is strained as my parents do not get along with their own siblings. I sometimes see my cousins and we are very close on my dad's side due to attending the same school and being only two months apart in age.
Just FYI, you can start taking lessons at 15 years old. You just can’t fly solo until you’re 16 and hold a private pilots license until 17. So it may be in your best interest to at the very least start your ground school portion (kings, pilot institute, others) and take your tests.
You can knock out a ton of the written tests if you want to, but they’re generally only good for 2 years before you have to retest, so don’t get too far ahead. But the ground schools typically run a few hundred bucks a piece, and often times go on sale.
If you’re anywhere near 16yo now, start flight training at your local school. If you go to a university to fly (at 18yo) you’re likely going to have a wait time before you start flying.
One of the ways you can avoid that is by already having a private pilot's license. The other thing is: you DON'T NEED TO GO TO COLLEGE TO BECOME A PILOT. Some people get their commercial ticket once they’re 18 years old and their flight instructor certificate shortly thereafter. Then, they get paid to instruct while accumulating flight hours before going to the airlines or charter companies.
Either way, if you want to fly - START NOW, especially if you’re anywhere close to 16 years old. Don’t let a college degree be the deciding factor in at least a private pilots license. You can minimize college costs this way also, if you decide to do the college thing anyway by already having a private or a private and instrument ticket. NTA.
I begged my parents to let me start flying lessons and they said that I had to focus on school and that they didn't have time to bring an hour to the nearest flight school.
theLIGMAmethod followed up:
Then buy the courses online and get the knowledge started. Once you have a drivers license, get started ASAP. Maybe you could use this as leverage power to start training if they go through with giving your money to your dumb brother.
INFO Are the using the money you yourself paid in to pay of your brother's debt, or are they using money they paid in?
Also, are they making your brother sell the car first?
The money in this account is entirely my own savings as my parents said the would contribute half of what I had saved by the end, and no they are not making my brother sell the car as he "needs it to get around."
To get around? To where? The guy doesn't even have a job!
Is the account your own account or is it shared?
It's in a shared account as I'm not 18 and he commutes three hours to college and stays there till the end of the week then comes home. He usually takes the bus but it doesn't always run.
First things first - if the car is only 2 weeks out, it can probably be returned.
Second, info: is the bank account joint with your parents? How do they have access? I also question how did your brother, with no job, get a car loan from a bank? Did your parents co-sign? OP = NTA.
I'm not exactly sure on the details of how my brother got the loan and yes my parents have access to my bank account as I am not 18.
OP also posted a separate comment in the thread, clarifying how she got money for the account:
All of the money in the account is my own personal savings that I have made by working a part time job and babysitting for people in my neighbour at weekends. Nothing from this account is my parents money and I feel like it is unjust for them to take it from me to pay for my brother's debt.
I’m wondering how much money a 15yr old can save. Maybe for the first payment?
I had around 8.4k in savings from various different things like birthdays and other events along with my wage from my part-time job and from babysitting as much as I can. This has been over the course of four-five years. I rarely treat myself or spend money unless absolutely necessary.
INFO: Did your parents mentioned anything about paying you back? If I get this correctly, you still have 3 years before college, right?
No my parents have not mentioned anything about repaying me and yes I have three years before college.
It's clearly agreed that OP is NTA, hopefully, she's able to get ahold of her money before her parents.