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'My sister's BF confessed his feelings for me and my family doesn't believe me.' UPDATED

'My sister's BF confessed his feelings for me and my family doesn't believe me.' UPDATED


"My older sister's boyfriend confessed his feelings to me."

I have an older sister who I'll call B. B has a boyfriend who I'll call J. Just like I said in the title, J has confessed that he has feelings for me and he said that he has had them for a long time. Just to clarify J and B have been together for almost a year and I've known J because my sister had a huge crush on him when they were in high school.

So I was really happy for her when she told me they were dating and since my sister still lives at home with our parents, J has been over a lot of times for dinner or just to hang out with my sister. During our first meeting when B brought him home to meet the family, I didn't try to be overly friendly with him but I was nice to him.

My sister told me later that he thought that I was a bit too cold to him and asked me to be nice to him so every other time I saw him, I was nice. I greeted him, talked with him about several topics which we had in common like anime which we were both very huge fans of and I thought he was really cool. But that was it. I had no interest in him romantically and just saw him as my sister's boyfriend.

But just yesterday during a Halloween party our family was having with our friends and family, J obviously came as my sister's date. I was having a lot of fun and I remember J coming up to me and asked if I could help him get drinks from the fridge that our family kept in the garage and I agreed.

On the way there, we were talking about our costumes and how they matched as they were from the same anime. Before we returned to the house, he grabbed my hand and told me he had something to say. He then confessed to me that he had a crush on me and that he was first hoping that his feelings for me would go with time but he felt like everyday he came to our house his feelings would grow.

He also said that he can't stop thinking about me. I felt uncomfortable as he spoke and asked what about my sister and their relationship and he said that he loves my sister but loved me more than her and said that he was sorry for having feelings for me and that he just felt like he had to let me know. I was quiet and so was he as he looked at me awaiting my answer.

I told him that I don't have feelings for him and I think that him confessing to me will ruin the friendly relationship between us and I told him that I'd tell my sister because I didn't want her to misunderstand. But he begged me not to tell my sister because he still wanted to date her and I told him that he can't date someone if he doesn't have feelings for them and ran back to my house to try and find my sister.

I found her and she immediately asked where J was. I pulled her aside while telling her that there was something she had to know and we went to the bathroom which was fairly quiet and I told her about what J had told me. She looked at me silently for a few seconds before going outside the bathroom. I followed her and saw her take J away by the hand as they went to her room upstairs.

I couldn't focus on the party anymore and kept looking up to see if J would leave the house but he didn't leave. Even after the party was beginning to end, they were still up there. I thought maybe it had gone bad and that J had probably hurt my sister so I told my mom what happened and we both went to check on her. We found them cuddling on her bed and immediately she saw me,

she told me to get out of her room. I was confused and asked what I had done. She told me that she's always known that I was jealous of her relationship with J and that she couldn't believe I'd go as far as lying to about J confessing to me and said whatever obsession I had with J should end. Then she told my mom a whole other story that J had apparently told her.

Apparently J told my sister that we were talking about anime in the garage while getting more drinks and I began to confess about how I liked him from the moment I saw him and that he tried to reject me nicely but I ran off to B and "told her a completely different story" just to make J look bad. I tried to defend myself but for some reason my mother sided with B and dragged me out of B's room.

My mother then told my dad what B had told her and my father was confused at first but at least he listened to my side of the story but my mom didn't believe me. She even called my aunts who were there and began to tell them and they were all telling me how wrong I was for trying to break my sister's relationship apart.

B also came down with J and escorted J out before coming back to tell me that I have always tried to get everything from her and she knew one day I'd try to steal her boyfriends and my mom and aunts shamed me for it. Only my dad believed me. I have been upset about it and both my mom and sister are ignoring me.

I also cried a lot to my dad telling him the story over and over hoping that he doesn't get lied to by my sister. I sent a text to J telling him that he was a horrible person and told him how I couldn't believe he lied to my family and he sent a screenshot to my sister and just a few minutes ago she's yelled at me for "still trying to ruin her relationship" and for "being obsessed and jealous" of her and I was crying.

I just want to know what I should do to prove my innocence. It feels so horrible to be accused of such a thing. I'm not talking to anyone in my house and I've been locked in my room.

This is what some commenters had to say:

Wild_Ad7448 said:

Nothing infuriated and hurt me more than my mom not believing me when I was telling her the truth. I’m a grandmother now and I still feel that pain when I’m reminded of it. Someday they will all realize the guy is a scoundrel. I hope they have the decency to apologize to you, if you’re even in contact with them at that time.

[deleted] said:

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP. If your sister doesn't want to listen to you and chooses to listen to someone like J then there's nothing you can do about it. She won't listen to you even if you tell her about it many times and that because she's in love with this guy.

One day she'll find out and also your mom is horrible to not even listen to you and you told her about it first. Idk if it's favoritism or what but thankfully your dad took your side. I wish you all the best.

rTracker_rTracker said:

Mom and sister are too fragile to handle the truth and are doubling-down in their denial. Live your best life and don't give them the time of day anymore. They do not support you. I'm glad your dad does. He knows the truth.

smurfgrl417 said:

It hurts now but you did right. He's a predator and was testing the waters. He'll be caught eventually, they usually do when they get comfortable in their partners gullibility.

Update, one week later:

First of all I'd like to thank everyone for all the kind words and the advice that I got. I am grateful to everyone who heard my side of the story. So some stuff has happened and most of you wanted an update.

Someone told me to send my dad the link to my post and I did. I think he showed it to my mom or sent her same link because she came to my room and said she wanted to talk to me. I refused because I had tried talking to her many times to prove myself but she ignored me or refused to hear me out.

She then told my dad to try and make us talk but I refused again and told my dad that I wanted to go to my grandparents house and stay there because I was uncomfortable at home. I also specifically said in front of my mom that I wanted to go to a place where no one thought I was trying to steal another person's boyfriend

and my mom tried to defend herself saying that it was a misunderstanding and that she was ready to listen to me but I didn't want to talk to her. I think she might have read the comments from my first post calling her a bad mother and was trying to convince herself that she was a good parent in that situation when she wasn't.

My dad took me to my grandparents house on Teusday and they immediately believed my side of the story when I told them what happened and while my dad was still in their house, my grandfather told him to ban J from coming to our house My grandmother wanted to confront my mom but I knew my mom would feel bad about it and probably cry

and even if many people here told me to let my mom get called out by my grandparents I didn't want that. It would cause more drama with her side of the family and it would become something big and maybe they would all end up taking my mom's side which was J's side and I'd didn't want that. Also my dad discouraged it for the same reason.

So I stayed with my grandparents for almost a week and it was nice. My dad would call me regularly to check on me. My mom tried to call me and she sent me a lot of texts asking me to come home but I didn't want to. I had blocked my sister on everything so idk if she tried reaching out but I highly doubt she did.

My dad called and told me that my mom has been crying a lot and begging him to get me to come back and my grandmother also told me to go back for her sake so I had to. My grandparents took me back home after school and my mom started to act all nice and sweet to me and was trying to do everything for me and asking for a "girls day out" with 'just' me and her but I refused.

Before I wouldn't question this because she's usually nice to me but after what happened and her siding with my sister plus accusing me for trying to ruin my sister's relationship, I wasn't ready to be friendly with her. I also couldn't see her the same after embarrassing and shaming me with her sisters.

It was around 6 or 7 pm and I was in my room and B came knocking on my door and asked if 'they' can come in. I went to check who else was there and I saw it was J. I refused and tried to close my door but they blocked it. My sister kept saying that they were trying to fix things but I didn't want to listen and kept pushing my door to close it but they were also pushing to open it and actually ended up opening it.

I told them to leave my room and I was shouting for my dad to come up to my room but my sister closed the door with her and J inside and like leaned against it while telling me to calm down and hear them out. I refused and kept telling them to leave and tried to push my sister out to leave but J tried to pull me back and I shouted at him not to touch me.

My sister started crying and told me to stop acting this way and to just hear them out. My dad also came and was knocking for the door to be opened and I said I would only listen to her if she lets my dad stay with me in the room but she said that they both wanted to talk to only me and opened the door to tell my dad and my mom who was also there about it,

Of course my mom made my dad leave me with these people just because "B was crying" and "she never cries unless it's serious" and that kind of bs. So I called my dad and remained on the line with him and told him to listen just in case they tried to do something and my sister was fine with it.

I also told them to stay next to the door away from me and then my sister started saying that J was really worried when I wasn't at home and she also became worried because this "wasn't me" and then J said that he felt guilty for being the cause of our family having issues and then said that he decided to "forgive" me for trying to break him and my sister up,

and that he hoped everything could go back to the way they were before the party. My sister then started apologizing for saying mean stuff to me and said that no matter what she will always love me and that she wanted us to be close again.

She also said that it was fine for me to like J but I shouldn't try to break them up because they were very happy together and that I would understand if I found someone that I loved like she loved J. Isn't that ridiculous? I even find it a bit funny.

I asked my dad if he heard what they said and he scoffed but my sister started saying that she understood that I was upset now which is why they got me something but it was in her room. J then said that it was very expensive but he got it for me because he knew I really wanted it and said how excited he had been to give it to me.

My sister then asked if she could give me a hug for making up and then she said that we should go together with my mom for a "girl's day out" to make up and I told her and her boyfriend to get out of my room. J then said that they were just trying to make up with me and that they both missed hanging out with me and I told him to shut up and never talk to me again.

I then told my sister that as long as she thought I liked J and as long as she believed J's side of the story over mine, I didn't want her to talk to me and I didn't want her in my room too and that they should leave. B got mad and shouted at me saying that I was being mean and that despite the fact that I was trying to break them apart, she still wanted to be the "bigger person" and make up with me.

My mom then came to the room (I think she was listening with my dad or standing outside my door) and said that we should all get along and the fight should end because we were all acting childish because of it. J was acting all innocent the whole time nodding and agreeing with everything.

I still don't understand why they're trying to make everything seem like it was before after publicly humiliating me in front of the family for telling them the truth about J.

I told my dad to come and help me out of this situation and he came and told them not to force me to talk to them when I didn't want to and my sister insisted that we should make up as a family and J nodded again in agreement and started telling me to listen to my mom and forget about it because they already did and I swear I wanted to knock him out so bad.

I told them to get out of my room or I'd go back to my grandparents house and this time I wouldn't return and my mom now started crying and said I was going too far but they left.

My dad stayed and I told him that I wanted to go back to my grandparents house and stay there until I finish school since I'm a senior but my dad refused and said he didn't want us to be separated again and that he'll find a solution for it.

I've been wondering what I should do. J is still here and he had been knocking on my door (which was locked) after dinner and telling me to take his gift which btw is a figurine of an anime character called Gojo from an anime called Jujutsu Kaisen (the one we both liked) and he said that it costed more than 300 dollars and since he spent all that money I should take it.

My dad told me not to take it but I wasn't planning on doing it either. My dad has also told him to stop trying to talk to me and to stop coming in my space because he's making me uncomfortable but it made both my sister and dad to argue. My sister said it's not necessary to stop J from coming close to me because J has zero interest in children like me and dropped her nice act after that.

You guys told me to tell my dad to ban him from coming to our house and he did but my mom and sister were against it and my parents even argued over it but it doesn't really surprise me that J is still around even right now as I am making this post. I think he might believe that what he did wasn't wrong if my sister didn't believe me.

Plus B said she'd move out if J was banned from coming to our house and my mom cried about it and begged her not to while arguing more with my dad and so that's not happening soon unfortunately.

I don't want to be alone with him to record our conversation because I don't know what he can do to me when we are alone so I'm sorry but I won't do that. So far when he's talking to me, it's mostly him talking about his gift and how he really wants me to take it and I don't feel comfortable taking anything from him. My sister also can't to force me to take it because it was expensive but I don't care.

Also during dinner my sister said that she was uncomfortable now that I'm around and was saying that I ruined the peaceful atmosphere that was there in the house before I came back. She even said that because of me making accusations towards J, I ruined the happiness our family had and also almost ruined her relationship.

My dad yelled at her to stop saying stuff like that to me and my sister yelled that only my mom loved her and that my dad and I were nothing to her blah blah blah... Honestly I don't know what her problem is. But I feel like it's kind of my fault that everything happened. There's been a lot of arguments between my family members and it's making me feel bad.

Maybe I shouldn't have told my sister about J's confession. But I really did it with no bad intentions and because I didn't want to hurt my sister but she didn't even believe me and neither did my mom. She said she believes my side of the story but then goes ahead and still sides with my sister. That's mostly why I don't want to talk to her. It's honestly upsetting and I really want to leave again.

I also wanted to clarify that I am not a bad person or trouble kid. Many people commented saying that maybe there must be a reason why my mom didn't believe me and took my sister's side or something similar probably happened that made my mom not believe me but nothing ever happened like this and believe it or not, my mother has always been this way.

She's always taken my sister's word for everything ever since I was a child. It's hard to understand but I'm sure they're many people with mothers like mine.

I wish my update post would've been of J getting what he deserved but I've just gotten back home and I think it's too early for that to happen. Also with the way my sister is acting, I don't think I'll be clearing my name anytime soon. So I hope she finds him cheating on her and knows that I warned her about him. Thank you once again for all the kind words.

Sources: Reddit
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