Teen loses it when 'star' sister outshines her at her own graduation party. AITA?
Sibling rivalry is one of the longest wars in history.
When you are young, you look up to your older siblings. Sometimes, as you come into your own, it can feel like you are never going to be able to match their accomplishments. One teen wrote about being excited to have a day that celebrated her accomplishments, instead of the many accomplishments of her older sister that she felt overshadowed her. When conversation at her celebration turned to the successes of her sister yet again, she lost it. Now, she is wondering if her jeaousy is misplaced or if her family truly does have a 'favorite daughter.'
'AITA for wanting my graduation dinner to be about me and not about my 'impressive' sister.'
I am going to graduate high school. We are celebrating early since my family is already down for my sister's college graduation. I have always felt my sister is better than me at basically everything. I got by with Bs; she was a straight A student and so on. No one every says it but I know they prefer her to me.
My aunt is not an easy person to impress at all. She was a lot of 'firsts' in the family. We were at dinner and my aunt started to ask about my sister's job she got out of college.
The whole rest of the dinner was all talking about my sister, what she is going to do and so on. It might as well have been a celebration for her.
My uncle asked me about if I am planning to go to college. I snapped at him, saying, 'Why it doesn’t matter? This dinner is about my sister not me.' The table got quiet and my mother told me to apologize. I refused.
We got home and I got into an argument with my family, with then saying they think I was being a jerk.
Also, my sister has HER OWN PARTY this week, that’s why I stupidly thought my graduation party would be about me...
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
YTA Your uncle was trying to make sure your accomplishments were being recognized too and you snapped at him. You feel insecure. That’s no one else’s problem than yours.
Agreed. I can understand why you felt like you were being swept under the rug. But it sounds like your uncle was trying to adjust the spotlight back to you. He did not deserve to be snapped at.
Yikes! You let your emotions get the best of you. Just a mistake. Not the end of the world. Learn from it.
Your response was very immature. Your uncle was trying to include you in the conversation. Instead of taking the opportunity to make the conversation about you ... you blew it. It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish!
You had the chance to turn this whole dinner around & make it all about you. Unfortunately, YOU, yourself made it about your sister & got the exact opposite of what you wanted. Respect. Sorry kiddo but YTA.
You shouldn't have yelled at him, he was just trying to help (although I do think you're the least asshole-ish out of all the assholes here)
This, OP snapping was due to everyone else at the table creating that resentment in OP. Uncle did nothing wrong but got caught up in the cross fire.
Soft YTA because your uncle was the one who tried to engage you. But damn if it doesn't hurt to be overshadowed on big days by your siblings. My parents almost missed my high school graduation bc my sister had state track.
She was a sophomore, and would end up going to state like five more times in different sports. It hurt to set up my own party, and then to hear stories of how amazing my sister was on the day that was supposed to celebrate me.
I have carried the idea that she's better than me for more decades than I want to admit. It's been toxic for my relationship to my mom and sister. I hope you can find a way to talk about it either with them, or with a therapist.
YTA for getting mad at the one person taking an interest in you and including you. i understand the situation is complicated but taking it out on him wasn't the best move.
it may be worth considering discussing how you feel with your parents if they'd be open to that and you could potentially do something to celebrate just you and your achievement of this milestone. Everyone else could've let the spotlight be on you for once.