One woman had finally had enough of catering to her older sister. She says her sister was always the star of their house and she never grew out of her need to be the center of attention. When her sister asked her to be a bridesmaid, she immediately laid out all of her very specific stipulations.
My sister is a very classic golden child in our family. She was the first girl and my mom always wanted a daughter. My older brother was a disappointment to mom and when I, the second girl came along, mom already had her perfect daughter so she never had much time for me.
Our dad was one of those dad's who worked all the time and left all child raising to mom and was not much of a family man. My brother and I are close. Our sister likes to use us but she only ever wants us for what she wants and has never been a good sister to us.
A few times she was upset to be left out of something and if we ever felt bad, it soon faded because she would try to make the rules for everything.
She did not change as an adult. We barely pass ourselves with her. But she has tried to make us a huge part of her life. Being part of her life isn't really rewarding though so I keep my distance, so does my brother.
She got engaged a few months ago. She asked me to be her bridesmaid and in the same breath told me I would need to change my hair (I have my hair dyed), would need to get used to wearing heels (never liked them, never wore them, cannot walk in them) and she told me I would need to join her for 5am yoga wedding planning every Tuesday and Thursday.
Oh and I would need to take two weeks off work around the wedding to prepare and get everything set up. I turned down the bridesmaid invite.
When she tried to get her wedding date finalized she asked my brother and I when we would be free and she told us to take into account that we would need to rent fancy cars or a joint car to drive to the place (she had a list of cars she found acceptable), because she wants all her guests to arrive in style.
She also told us we would need at least 4k saved to afford everything she was planning. She also wanted to do a family gathering the night before the wedding at the venue and that would require paying money to take part, and this place is expensive, even on a sh*tty day.
My brother told her any date would work and not to worry but he was being sarcastic. I told her not to plan her wedding around me because I could never afford that stuff so it would be best I don't go.
My sister didn't take me seriously but then when I RSVP'd no to her wedding, she called and asked why I am judging her wedding and why I won't go. I told her she can do what she wants but I don't need to attend and I am not going to run myself into the ground to follow the rules of her wedding.
She told me I am her sister. I SHOULD attend her wedding. AITA?
NTA. Maybe she'll learn that there are some things she can't control. It would be nice if you and your brother could go somewhere together on the day to do something inexpensive and sane. By the way, she sounds dreadful.
Wonder if she's lost some friends over this, lol. Where is your dear mother? Surprised, she didn't make an appearance in the last sentence asking you, 'Where she went wrong in raising such spoiled brats.'
NTA who needs 4k to be a GUEST at a wedding??!?!!
NTA - your sister sounds exhausting. You and your brother both need to stand your ground and stay far, far away. IMHO!!
NTA and since your sister is deranged it doesn't really matter what she says. Good luck to her fiance.
Dear god, even from a lifelong Golden Child those are some harsh demands. Plus this sounds like less fun than a month of root canals. I'm glad you dodged the bridesmaid bullet, OP, and also the $4,000 pony-up for the present grab at the wedding.
NTA as you already well know -- and wish Bridezilla luck because at some point soon, the world is going to tune her up big-time