Revenge gift sparks unexpected joy at chaotic first birthday celebration.
"Petty revenge on my dad and his fiancee."
EpicChurro
My dad has always been the absent kind of father who never paid much attention to me or mom. Dont get me wrong, he was never abusive, just kind of out there - free thinker, jazz musician by trade and so on.
He decided to divorce mom when I was 18 which would have been ok if he didnt cheat on her multiple times and didnt fail to mention that he had already filed for divorce to my mom. I guess you can imagine that receiving the divorce papers from a random post man one fine morning is not one of my fondest memories.
So my parents divorced, mom was devastated but everyone moved on. Dad married one of the singers he had cheated with prior to the divorce and we just kind of let it go. A year ago, my dad and his now wife got a child, a small baby boy who I can proudly call my brother.
During some of the visits to their house I noticed that my bro loves anything that makes a lot of noise - using all the toys given to him just to make a ruckus, be it wooden cubes or anything else and that is when a sinister thought was born in my head. It is his first birthday tomorrow and I got him a beautiful marching drum. Try not to pay attention to that!
UPDATE: so I went to the party and right from the start it was pure pandemonium with everyone stressed, the baby crying like crazy and dad's wife visibly in distress. All because she is a real perfectionist when it comes to homemade meals, with dad, being the impractical artist, not being much of a help.
Eventually we sat down to eat but baby bro was grumpy basically the whole time. So, after we ate, I pulled out the marching drum. Dad and fiancee were visibly upset and probably kind of figuring out the way to tell me that this was not an appropriate purchase.
Then, out of nowhere, bro's godmother (singer and pianist, yes, another one) spoke up and said that this is a really good gift, because he likes to bang all his toys anyways.
So, even though relucant at first, dad took the drum and started playing some simple patterns. Bro stopped crying, hypnotized by the drumbeat. Visibly relieved, the wife's mom pulled out her gift, which was a xylophone 😁 and some other percussions she had bought, everyone took one instrument and we kindof tried playing together, effectively calming my baby bro down and preparing him for the bedtime.
I guess I did not expect that it would end in such a wholesome way. Also, thanks to everyone for all the cheeky recommendations, I will be sure to up my game this Christmas ❤️
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
PresentationThat2839
There are many loud toys. Does Fisher Price still make that walking popper. According to Amazon and Walmart yes they do. Merry Christmas.
The OP responded here:
EpicChurro
That is if they ever let me back in their house after tomorrow 😂
gothiclg
I love loud toys for this exact reason. It says “I’ll play nice for the child but the child will play loudly as revenge” and everyone at the party knows it.
Cfwydirk
You are wonderful helping your brother follow in his fathers footsteps to hopefully become a musician! With some thought, you can help him more next birthday?🎸 A cheap bass guitar and amp from market place or whatever the kid is in to.
The OP again responded here:
EpicChurro
Dad is a double bass player but I feel like the kid is gonna be a drummer 😂
S70nkyK0ng
There are baby shoes with squeakers in the soles. Kids love noisy dog toys. Harmonicas and kazoos are fun.
LetheSystem
Slide whistle. Never really in tune, kinda loud. That takes wind, though. Steel drum - but with a few judicious whacks with a ball peen hammer, on only about half of the targets (forget their name), so they're out of tune. A handmade tourist instrument like an ocarina. Basically, for me as a musician, I could handle the loud, but out of tune would drive me mad.
The OP again responded:
EpicChurro
Yeah, that would be a proper torture for dad as well.
lapsteelguitar
You are the asshole I aspire to be. Perfect gift for the child of a musician/asshole. When the kiddo gets older, a recorder will be the perfect gift.
Nadihaha
Fisher price makes a pull along sausage dog xylophone, it has 2 volume settings, loud and louder 😜😜