Woman child locks stove against fire prone stepsister, hellfire ensues. AITA?
Sibling bickering always tends to run hot.
In this case, the friction caused so much smoke that it was getting close to needing fire department intervention. One woman thought she was protected her stepsister and herself from unintended damage, but her stepsister felt as though she was being placated and belittled.
AITA for putting child-proof locks on the stove to stop my adult sister from using it?
I (f19) live with my stepsister Nicole (f20). We live together in a small two bedroom apartment whilst we both attend the same college. Our hometown is a small rural area that's around a 3 hour drive away.
My dad married Nicole's mother around 11 years ago. Nicole and I know each other pretty well and have spent a lot of time together. We haven't always gotten along (which siblings have?) but we do consider each other sisters.
Anyway, onto the story.
So me and Nicole both got sick of dorms and moved in together around two months ago.
Back at home, Nicole never cooked for herself (not beyond microwave meals, anyway) and now that we're both supposed to be living independently, she's started cooking.
Nicole keeps 'forgetting' to turn off the stove or oven when she's finished with them. At one point, this nearly caused a full-blown house fire when she forgot about the stove whilst a paper plate of hers had been left on top of it.
I kept gently reminding Nicole to turn off the oven/stove when she's done with them but she just doesn't seem to listen. I even tried putting sticky notes around the kitchen to try to remind her.
Eventually, Nicole got irritated with the reminders and told me I'm treating her like a child. I said I'm sorry if it came off that way but she needs to remember.
The problem has just kept persisting and a near miss with a house fire happened again when Nicole forgot about the stove, and she didn't hear the smoke detector because she was blasting music on her airpods. Luckily I noticed it and was able to put it out.
I tried to have a talk with Nicole and told her this needs to stop. Nicole just got mad before I could even suggest anything and told me to get off her case. She said I'm overreacting and that she 'can handle it'. She refused to listen to anything I had to say and kept talking over me.
This has started to make me really anxious, especially when Nicole is home whilst I'm out.
I bought some plastic child locks for the knobs that control the stove and oven, and I placed them on there. I know Nicole can't open child-proof stuff.
This way, she can't use the stove or oven when I'm out of the home. When I'm home, I can make sure nothing bad happens. Me and Nicole have similar class schedules so this shouldn't inconvenience her too much.
Nicole went apesh*t when she noticed them, and started screaming at me and told me I'm a control freak and bullying her. I yelled back at her and told her I wouldn't be doing it if she could act like a responsible adult. Nicole called me a b*tch and said I have no business controlling when she gets to cook.
She's now gone to a friend's place and has blocked my phone number. My dad and stepmother got concerned after getting texts off Nicole and they keep messaging me about it, telling me I need to get Nicole to come back. Am I the asshole?
Here is what readers had to say:
Dude, she's 20 years old and literally child-proofing the oven works!? I'm freaking dying! My buddy tried to child proof their refrigerator to stop their nine year old from getting into it, and it took her all of 15 minutes to sort it out and get into it anyway.
Oh, right. You're NTA in the slightest. Left unchecked your stepsis is seriously fixing to burn the place down and seriously doesn't seem to be bothered by that fact. Not cool at all.
My kids could get through baby gates at about 2 years old, my MIL at 58 never could. If I wanted space I'd close the gate and go have a nap. Lol
NTA. She nearly burnt down the house twice. Thats two times too many, espcecially when something as simple as turning off the stove is involved.
NTA. You are treating her like a child- because she's acting as irresponsible as one.
This isn't a little issue like leaving lights on or forgetting some house rule like keeping the bathroom door closed. This is a literal safety issue. You can burn down a house. She's too irresponsible to be using a stove.
If she wants to be treated like a normal adult who's free to cook whenever she wants- then she needs to get her shit together and do it without nearly killing everyone in the house and burning it down.
Two times she almost burns down the house, one time where she didn't hear the smoke detectors, and she wonders why you're this nervous with her using the stove? NTA, and she needs to either put more effort into remembering or get used to lots of peanut butter and jelly.