Teen tells off 'brutally honest' sister at Thanksgiving dinner, 'you're actually a jerk.'

There's nothing like a good old-fashioned Thanksgiving argument.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a teen asked if she was wrong for "humiliating" her sister by calling her out. She wrote:

"AITA for 'ruining' Thanksgiving dinner by 'causing drama' because I 'humiliated' my sister?"

(I'm 17F.) My sister “Cassie” (22F) is one of those people who is a bully to everyone and justifies it by saying “I’m just keeping it real!” She clearly knows it’s wrong, by the way, because she only does it to family when nobody who could affect her school/professional reputation is watching.

It’s obvious no one in the family likes Cassie’s bad attitude, but usually no one says anything because then Cassie gets overly defensive and turns it into a huge fight with yelling and my family doesn’t want to deal with the drama. My family actually celebrated Thanksgiving last week at my grandparent’s house since we’re all gonna be in different places on the actual day.

During dinner, Cassie looked over my cousin “Molly’s” (15F) shoulder and saw she was reading a webcomic, then Cassie started talking about how the webcomic is overrated, calling Molly “basic” and making fun of her for reading it. I was especially irritated because I really like hanging out with Molly but she and her parents are rarely willing to visit in-person because Cassie’s always causing issues like this.

I told Cassie that Molly’s allowed to like what she likes and there’s no reason to be rude when Molly wasn’t bothering anyone. Cassie made an excuse like “Well, I’m just being honest” and I told her that she doesn’t have the excuse of “just being honest” because nobody asked for her opinion in the first place.

Cassie got angry and started going off about how “You may be too dumb to know” but she has free speech and doesn’t need permission to speak, which was literally not the point at all. My mom asked me and Cassie to just drop it but Cassie kept trying to get the last word in. I got fed up and snapped at Cassie.

I told her she bullies everyone and no one says anything because they don’t want to put up with the drama, but I’m sick and tired of her being a jerk to everyone, which was all something I’ve wanted to tell Cassie for a long time. Cue the yelling and waterworks from “Cassie.” She went on about how “no one ever lets me talk!” no one listens to her opinion, blah blah blah.

She tried using guilt to get people on her side and the whole night was tense after. When we got home later, my mom told me that I “humiliated” Cassie and that I am in the wrong. She said she knows Cassie is frustrating but I know that’s just how my sister is and I’m supposed to ignore her. And I gave everyone a headache by “provoking” her and causing the drama of her crying and yelling at Thanksgiving.

It’s been a week and Cassie is still in a bad mood. I thought what I did was justified, but it seems like Molly is the only person in my family who thinks I did the right thing. I realize it wasn’t the most civil route but I still feel Cassie brought it on by being a bully in the first place. So I’m asking Reddit: AITA?

The internet had plenty of thoughts.

Pladohs_Ghost wrote:

NTA. Your family can want to enable Cassie's bad behavior and that doesn't provide you with an obligation to also do it. Indeed, the only way to break Cassie of her bad habits is to call her out consistently. You'll also need to call out the rest of your family consistently on their enabling behavior; spur them into improving themselves, as it were.

Note that the victim of Cassie's toxicity is happy you called Cassie out. Only the people who weren't victimized think you shouldn't have done it. That's quite telling.

Familiar-Bid8210 wrote:

This is classic triangulation. Family systems often center cohesion and agreeableness as the core values, so bad behavior gets normalized for the sake of going along, whereas the person calling it out is labeled disruptive and scapegoated. Your whole family needs therapy.

LowBalance4404 wrote:

NTA. Cassie brought that all on herself. The next time she bullies Molly or someone else, please remind her "Well, you didn't like it on Thanksgiving, did you?"

Purple-Dirt-7573 wrote:

NTA. Silence only ever helps the aggressor, never the victim. Good on you for speaking up for Mollie. Do it again. And again. And again. Until Cassie learns to behave, at least in your presence. You'll be doing her a favor as well. She'll go through life much easier after she learns how to hold her b#$chy tongue.

5115E wrote:

NTA Cassie is the rude person in the mix and your family enables it. Give your mom a link to Don't Rock the Boat and tell her you and Molly are getting out of the boat. Actually, you could send it to the rest of your relatives too.

OP is NTA, her family's just used to enabling Cassie.