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Wife angry husband gave housekeeper time off for sister's funeral. AITA?

Wife angry husband gave housekeeper time off for sister's funeral. AITA?


The shocking reality about how some wealthy people treat their domestic employees.

In this one, a wealthy wife took to the web to vent her anger about her husband's 'leniency' with their housekeeper. She was outraged when her husband happily complied to her housekeeper's request for time off. Not once, but twice. When you hear the reason you might need to take a walk to get some of her privilege out of your system.

Am I the a**hole for telling my husband he's giving our housekeeper too many days off?


Throwaway account. I 35f and my husband 37m moved to a new country last year and have settled in well. We had a cook and cleaner back where we lived so it only made sense to get one when we moved. Luckily, our cook said she could also clean for us so we do not have two people walking in and out of our house.

Now to the issue. She works from Monday to Friday and has the weekend off. Monday’s & Thursday’s are mainly for cleaning, Wednesdays are market days and Tuesdays & Thursday’s are cooking days.

About a week or two into her working for us, my husband gave her the Wednesday off because he said we had enough food and the house was clean enough. I asked about the market and he said she’d go on Thursday instead. I told him I was irritated he didn’t consult me before and he said he was the one paying her so he can give her as many off days as he wants.

A week after that, my husband had about four friends of his visit. He asked our help if she could go to the market Saturday morning to get some food produce and go and cook for them for the week and she agreed, obviously with pay because it’s her off day.

On her way back to their place from the market she fell off a motor bike and got severe back pains but she still went. She didn’t finish the food on Saturday so she went back on Sunday, meaning she worked during her days off.

That Sunday my husband went to visit his friends and she was complaining about back ache. He told her to go to the hospital the next Monday and gave her money for consultation and medicine.

When he came home that evening he explained the situation and I was annoyed again because if he had not sent her to his friends place she would’ve been able to come the next day.

Monday came around and my husband asked me to call her and ask how she’s doing. She said she went the night before instead of Monday because the pain was too much and she was admitted in the hospital and would be released later in the day.

I relayed this information to my husband and he said since she had to stay in the hospital it means it was serious so she should take the Tuesday off. At this point I was fuming because I had to wash dishes the entire weekend plus on Monday too. I held my tongue because as my husband said he is the one who pays her which is true.

The last straw for me was this Tuesday when he gave her the rest of the week off. Tuesday he came back from his morning tennis practice and saw her crying in the kitchen which I found inappropriate to be crying at your work place.

He asked her what was wrong and she told him that she just received a call from her mother saying her older sister has passed away. He told her to go home and stay home for the rest of the week and come back on Monday. I snapped and yelled at him. I said he doesn’t know how much work load he’s put on me because he gave her the week off.

He once again said he’s the one who pays her so he can give her as many days off as he feels like. He yelled at me and told me to stop being lazy because I am a stay at home mom with kids who are 14 & 20 who are barely at home and are in school, and I have the privilege to still have someone do all my housework for me even though that’s my job.

He said if he hears me complain one more time he’ll send her to work for someone else and make me get a job and still do house work. I feel that that was an inconsiderate statement to make. He hasn’t really spoken to me since. So AITA?

Here was the reaction this....bold post got:


'The help' was all I needed to hear to know you don't actually know what is and isn't professional work behavior. If you want to play that game, she should be contacting HR (obviously your husband because being 'human' is another thing you don't do) and reporting a manager who isn't giving her consideration for job related injuries.

Normally I'd say his comment about it being his money is out of line, but you don't really contribute much to the household given your job seems to be only telling someone else to do it. 5 days a week you have full time help?

Given your glaring lack of empathy, I have a hard time believing you did much to raise your kids either. Just the one live in nanny or a nanny and a driver? Full time tutor? You got the golden ticket and are complaining you have to unwrap the candy bar yourself.


Work is for other people. OP is too busy looking down her nose to do anything meaningful with her life.


She's a stay at home mom to a 14 & 20 year old....and she can't do some damn house work?! I can't say more or I'll be banned here too.


Why be irritated? If people have the money to pay someone to do things they don't want to do then why not? That gives other people the opportunity to do those things to get the money. Would you really do work and chores that you didn't need to or would you find something more meaningful to do with your time / life?


Wow. How can a person be so cold hearted? YTA. She had an accident and ended up in the hospital, and her sister died, and all you were worried about was the fact that you had to do your own cleaning and cooking. You have a husband who at least has a heart. You don't deserve him.

If you could talk to this OP, in a civil way, what would you say to her?

Sources: Reddit
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