Man presses charges on GF's friend who stole his doll; 'I put a GPS on it.' CONCLUDED
"AITA for pressing charges against my girlfriend's friend for stealing my doll?"
Reasonable_Art_1537
I (26M) have been with my still girlfriend (26F) for almost 4 years. Last year I gave her a key to my house. She spends a few days there, but we don’t live together full time.
A few days ago, I had to make a quick trip for work. She asked me if she could invite a few of her friends to the house for a girl’s night (it was on Thursday). I accepted.
I returned yesterday in the morning. The first thing I noticed was that my rag doll was missing from the wall. My first instinct was to call my girlfriend to ask if she had put it somewhere else, she denied it and said the doll was there (it wasn’t).
I checked the GPS of the doll (yes, it has a GPS). The GPS marked the house of one her friends, let’s call her Jess. I tried to be nice and told my GF to tell her friend to bring it back before 5 pm and I’ll pretend this never happened or I’ll involve the police. She tried to fight it but I told her about the GPS.
Well, my GF called me back saying that Jess denied having the doll. We had a huge argument and I warned her that I wasn’t playing about getting the police involved. I waited until 5 and went to the police. We went to her house and got the doll back. I pressed charges. My GF and I had a bigger argument about me pressing charges.
They (including her) know the doll was made by my father. They could have stolen anything else and I wouldn’t bat an eye. I gave her friend a chance and she tried to play stupid. They have been calling me an a**hole and telling me to drop the charges.
I will answer some your question here, if you have more I wll try to answer them. The doll is with me. It's a rag doll, better said, it's a raggedy Ann doll.
My Father had many hobbies, he tried making dolls and was planning to sell them, but the first one he made was a freaking raggedy Ann doll. So it didn't last (he was too manly to sell raggedy Ann dolls. Ridiculous, I know).
He gave me that one. And actually, he made 4 more for my best friends. The doll was hanging in my room, but once he passed away, I hung it in the living room. It has X’s as eyes and looks creepy because it looks dead.
It has a GPS because my home was robbed 7 months ago, I don’t care if they clean out everything in the house as long as they leave the doll. I have more expensive items she could have stolen so I don’t know why she would steal the bloody doll other than a sick joke.
My GF never complained about it (at least not to me). I haven’t talked to her other than her telling me to drop the charges. I will talk to her tomorrow to find out why she let her friend take the doll (they’ve been here before and she has never seen anything like this). And about our relationship, right now, I’m thinking of breaking up.
I hope I do this right. Before the update I want to give some context about why the doll is so important to me and to correct myself for saying he was too manly to sell dolls. My father got sick just before I was 15 (kidney failure). He retired and he filled his time with hobbies.
A year after his diagnosis, I came home from school one day and he was finishing the doll. I asked him if he was going to sell it, he said yes but not anymore. I asked him why and he replied with “who would buy a doll from a man who looks angry 24/7”.
Before his diagnosis, my father would have laughed about it, he would have made more to fill a big box, knock on every door and sell them all. But now, he was worried about what people would say, if he could sell them, anxious, less energetic, less confident, doubtful, afraid. None of this was in his mind before, the illness was not only beating his body but also his mind.
We thought we had made peace with his disease and the time he had left, but reality finally caught up with us. It was a turning point in the way we moved forward.
I have other things my father made, I carry some with me, others are in a safe. I tried to put the doll in a box, in a closet, I even tried to give it away once, I just don’t have the heart to do it. It gives me peace to see it out there. The tracker may seem excessive but not for me. My ex knew about this.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after this initial post:
ewearehere
What on earth did her friend say when the police showed up at her door and she had to hand the item she STOLE back? Press charges. Dump the girlfriend and change your lock. Install a security camera on your front door.
Lorraine221
NTA, your gf is equally guilty and you should take your keys back and change the locks.
Prize_Client9869
I absolutely think you did the right thing. And even if her girlfriends really didn’t think it was weird or creepy, they automatically agreed with her.
PersonBehindAScreen
Nta. Also ya you should break up with her. The fact she argued with you when you said you'll forget it ever happened, then argued again when you retrieved the doll says all you need to know
She was in on it. She doesn't respect you either. And even if she was in on it, she became a willing participant when you showed the proof. Leave.
The OP provided an update a few days later.
Reasonable_Art_1537
My ex came over yesterday. She was a mess. She explained that she actually had a problem with the doll, but instead of telling me, she went to her friends. They told her that it was creepy and weird for a grown man to have a doll, and that I was too attached to it.
This only reinforced her feelings. This was a regular topic between them and they came up with ideas to get rid of doll, but she never followed through with them, until Thursday. Her friends were fed up with her for not doing something as we were planning to move together.
Before they left, my ex and Jess talked. They agree that Jess would take the doll and my ex would take care of the rest. My ex forgot the GPS and when I confronted her, she panicked. She actually called Jess and told her about it, but Jess told her not to worry, that I wouldn’t do anything about it. But she was obviously wrong.
I broke up with her, she tried to plead and even suggested couples therapy but I just couldn’t stand being with her anymore. I called my lawyer and they told me that we can continue with the process but nothing will come out of it, even with my ex’s confession. He will try either way. I’ve already changed the locks and I’m buying cameras for the whole house.
I'd like to thank all of you who took the time with my mess, I never thought this will get the attention it got. I will try to answer more questions if you have them. I hope everything goes well with all of you and thank you again.
The OP then returned with another update.
Reasonable_Art_1537
I got this second hand from one of my ex's friends who was part of the whole thing when she came over to apologize.
Jess made a post Monday on Facebook trying to gain sympathy. My ex call her out, the other 3 friends who were involved also chimed in and they tore each other apart. Other friends from them who didn't know about it got involved in the whole thing after the post and they're cutting them out of their lives.
Some family of Jess and my ex also got involved, I don't know the details of it but Jess's parents and my ex's family personally came to apologize yesterday.
Here were the top rated comments from readers after these latest updates:
Character_Hippo90
Hard lessons are learned by extreme consequences. Her friend has a serious theft problem, one that you should follow through with. NTA
NomadicusRex
I had two exes deliberately destroy things that came from my dead parents. You know, it really sucks, they never had any repercussions from their actions, at least your ex and 'Jess' are known for what they are.
Ending it with your ex is really the right thing to do. As is pressing charges as best you can.
The OP then provided one final update 7 months later.
Reasonable_Art_1537
I got messages asking how I am and what happened to my ex and her friends. Here it is.
Jess aka the thief; like I said before, it was difficult to achieve something so nothing really happened to her other than public embarrassment. The other 3 friends aka the accomplices; the last info I got is that they reconciled as friends after their boyfriends broke up with them, but they still don’t talk to thief or my ex.
My ex, aka the doll hater; tried to contact me for a few days but couldn't reach me so she tried something else. Due to the robberies in previous months, my neighbors were paying constant attention for any suspicious activity and they let me know there was a weird lady roaming the streets in different cars. It was my ex.
It was difficult to get a restraining order but I did get a no contact one. She was served at her parents’ house; they later visited me to let me know that they are going to make sure that their daughter doesn’t bother me anymore. The last info I got about her is that she changed jobs and moved out to another state at some point of last year.
Myself; after everything was settled, I took a position that was open in my job that requires constant travel, but ended up returning to my previous one because my life took a wild turn when I found out that I’m going to be a father, a single father to be exact.
My friends got me a great lawyer and things are going terribly well, as she says. So yeah, I’m excited, scared and I’m still freaking out, but I like to think I’m doing it in a good way. There you have it.
Here were the top rated comments from readers that followed this story all the way to the end:
Pristine-Payment
I'm glad you went well, a few questions, did the grooms end up with the accomplices because of the doll issue? And you updated us on all but the doll!
The OP responded here:
Reasonable_Art_1537
I have no idea if they broke up with them because of the doll. The only thing I know is that it happened 2-3 months later. The doll is doing fine, it's sitting on a bookshelf in my home office.
eastherbunni
What exactly was her thought process here? Oh my boyfriend has a family heirloom that he cherishes so much that it has its own GPS tag, I'm sure he won't notice if it just goes missing with no explanation.
Beautiful-Musk-Ox
'What exactly was her thought process here?' Like a shared psychosis, her friends were NOT part of the relationship and convinced her things were a certain way when they weren't. Then she would have subtly put a wall between her and him, keeping this secret, her friends would push on that closeness too.
A secret among them making it harder and eventually impossible to back out once you're drinking the cult flavor aid, believing in their theorized view of who OP was and how their relationship was going and could go instead of returning to reality and being real with herself and with him.
Talisa87
'Babe I'm not a fan of the doll being out like this. I know it means a lot to you so can you just keep it in your office please?' Use your words. Don't do underhanded bullshit and implode your relationship.