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Man regrets secretly learning GF's native language after eavesdropping on her gossip.

Man regrets secretly learning GF's native language after eavesdropping on her gossip.


Many people speak multiple languages. Dating someone that speaks more than one language isn't uncommon these days. It's nice to learn your partner's language, especially if it's their native language, but sometimes that can have unintended consequences.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Today I F*cked Up Subreddit, a man secretly learns his girlfriend's native language and then is stunned by the conversations she has.

He writes:

My girlfriend is South African. Her native language is Afrikaans. I've been learning how to speak Afrikaans without my girlfriend knowing. I secretly applied for online courses I've been doing for over a year. I planned to surprise my girlfriend and her family with my 'American Afrikaans' when I finally meet her parents in person for the first time later this year.

I never intended to eavesdrop, but learning Afrikaans in secret exposed me too sensitive information my girlfriend was sharing on the phone with her Afrikaans-speaking friends from South Africa. It was gossip I was not supposed to understand, but eventually, I did. This is what I've heard in the past few months:

Number one, my girlfriend plans to surprise me on my birthday by reuniting with her high school metal band and putting on a show for me. Second, my girlfriend wants to tattoo the names of all the Harry Potter spells on her back, but she doesn't know how to tell me because she's afraid I'll talk her out of it.

Third, my girlfriend casually mentioned that one of the unexpected differences between her glasses and contact lenses is that when she's on her knees looking up at me with her glasses on, my junk looks much more significant than it seems through her contact lenses. This is why she's keeping her glasses on during our intimate sessions (ouch).

Fourth, my girlfriend is convinced that my parents are swingers because attractive couples always hang out at my mom and dad's house whenever we visit. Fifth, my girlfriend secretly finished the entire series of Better Call Saul without me, even though we agreed to spend it together, so now she's pretending to have no idea how the show ends.

Sixth, my girlfriend is thinking about canceling the high school metal band reunion for my birthday because she's no longer sure if it's appropriate to team up with two of her exes that are original band members. My girlfriend expects her dad not to like me.

I would've preferred not knowing most of those things, to be honest, but there is no way for me to unlearn Afrikaans, so now I'm cursed with knowing too much while having to pretend I know nothing.

The internet has advice on how to break the news.

monstersinmywardrobe says:

The Punishment for forbidden knowledge is knowing. Keep it a secret, and when she asks you about it, you say: I've been speaking Afrikaans the whole time.

Global-Cattle-6285 says:

Ahhh, that wasn’t all that bad. Honestly thought this was going to be much worse than it was.

Freakin_A says:

The real question is, how will you reveal it to her? My vote is before you have do it next time; in Afrikaans, say, 'Don’t forget your glasses.' Honestly, most of this is pretty endearing. You’re both clearly into each other.

Honestly, OP, you should just tell her. She genuinely seems to really like you.

Sources: Reddit
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