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Dad tells son his BF has to pay his own way on vacation, son calls him 'homophobic.'

Dad tells son his BF has to pay his own way on vacation, son calls him 'homophobic.'


Family vacations can be an amazing bonding memory that lasts for ages, but the logistics can be the inverse: a stressful and nagging memory that permeates your memory.

Navigating everyone's varying financial situations, changing romantic relationships, and different ideologies can be a tightrope walk, and if you're one of the breadwinners it can be an expensive tightrope walk as well.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a dad asked if he's wrong for not letting his son's boyfriend join on vacation unless he pays his own way. He wrote:

AITA for not letting my son's boyfriend come on vacation with us unless he pays his own way even though I'm paying for everyone else?

For a summer vacation this year I went all out. I rented a houseboat for five days. It cost about $22,000. We are celebrating my wife's 50th birthday and our 30th anniversary. It is a huge houseboat and we have been planning this for a while. All the kids are coming and bringing their SOs and family. I am flying my son and his wife over from the Philippines for this.

My youngest son attends university on the East Coast and he has a new person in his life every few weeks. He is staying out there for the summer but I am also flying him in for the party. He wants me to pay for his new boyfriend to come. This is news to me because when he last spoke to me in July he had a girlfriend. He changes partners more often than he does laundry.

I said his boyfriend was more than welcome to join us but that he would have to pay for his own flight. The girl he was dating wasn't going to come because she felt awkward being at a family party after only dating for a month so I wasn't going to buy her a ticket. My son says that I'm being homophobic and an AH for not bringing his boyfriend out.

I pointed out that his sister and her wife of two years would be there. He hung up and called his mom. She thinks I should just pay. I probably will to keep the peace but I think it I stupid to pay for a vacation for a kid I will never see again. And he is going to be in family pictures forever.

People shared their unbridled thoughts in the comments.

SigSauerPower320 wrote:

NTA. This has nothing to do with him being with a guy. It's about him only being with this person for a month. Who in their right mind would expect a person to pay for a vacation for a complete stranger?!

Boo155 wrote:

NTA. Your son just has a series of f#$k buddies and this guy is the latest one. The fact that your son jumped right to the over-played and inaccurate 'homophobia' claim proves that he's just an entitled jerk. Don't pay for the guy's ticket.

loverlyone wrote:

Personally, I wouldn’t want to be trapped on a boat with someone none of the rest of the family knows very well, whether they pay or not. One month is not long enough to take a family vacation together. I think your son’s expectations are unrealistic and unreasonable.

He might also consider that If absence makes the heart grow fonder, presence in a small stateroom on the family vacay may just be the heart killer. NTA.

Thevoiceofreason823 wrote:

NTA. You know everyone else you are paying for. You don't know the boyfriend and are not a piggy bank for someone else's vacation. It's not homophobic to refuse to pay for someone's vacation.

Kokichi_101 wrote:

NTA. First, it's your money, you choose what to do with it. Second, if you didn't know about the boyfriend, then why should the boyfriend now be your problem? And you're not homophobic for not wanting to pay for someone you didn't know about until then. Your son's the AH for calling you homophobic for something not homophobic, it's petty.

Clearly OP is NTA, but his son is a pretty big entitled one.

Sources: Reddit
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