Family expects woman to babysit without asking, so she takes vacation too. AITA?
They tried to 'Home Alone' her, but with their kids.
One woman was shocked when she found out her entire family had planned a cruise without her. The biggest upset came when she learned she was expected to care for all of their children while they were gone. All of this happened without her knowledge. So, she decided to book a trip at the same time and not say anything to them. Now, they are threatening to charge her with child abandonment.
'AITA for refusing to babysit while family goes on vacation?'
My aunt is retiring. She's made plans to go to in a cruise, 3 day stay in Hawaii, and then back. All her adult children are going. They invited our side if the family, nobody told me. I'm not on Facebook, which is the only place they communicate. They have my number, no one asked me though.
My entire family made plans for weeks to go. They made accommodations and bought tickets; everything. No one mentioned it to me in all that time. Finally it's a week away and I bring up to my family at our parents house about how I hope she has fun and should I get her a gift etc and my sister says 'yeah grab her something we'll give it to her on the cruise'.
This is the first I'm hearing about them going. They said they assumed I was staying to watch the babies for them. My cousin's 3 year old, my sister's 2 year old, and twin infants.
I feel like they didn't tell me specifically so I'd be the only person not going and they could try to force all the kids on me. Well, I told them no thanks. I told them I still had time to make accommodations and come too and I would like to go. I honestly didn't want to go after feeling left out like that, but I figured maybe if it was really an accidental issue of being left out they wouldn't mind.
I took the time off and then my cousin, who was coordinating the entire thing, texted me saying she was so sorry but there's no space left she only secured enough for everyone that RSVP'd and the cruise is sold out but I'm welcome to fly out and hang with everyone in Hawaii if I can find my own accommodations.
But since everyone planned on me taking the kids I'd need to find childcare first. I told her nobody every called me to even discuss me taking the kids. She didn't reply. Nobody was!
So since I already had the time off, my bf and adult son and I decided to take our own vacation. We all packed up the day before my family left and took off for a week long vacation states away. I purposely didn't tell anybody.
I started getting calls the next morning as everyone was coming to my house expecting to drop off their kids. I didn't answer. I refused their calls and ignored their messages the whole trip. We had a fantastic time and made great memories.
When I got back my family was furious. They said multiple people had to drop out of the trip and couldn't get their money back because they couldn't find last minute childcare. I told them that's too bad that sucks so much, they should have arranged something before they left.
I reminded them, no one ever set anything up with me, and since I already had the time off I decided to enjoy that with my family. I'm sorry it didn't work out but I never offered to watch anyone's kids. You all assumed I would because you didn't invite me to keep me free to watch them. You didn't coordinate, I had other plans, that's how it works.
My cousin thinks I'm being a complete AH. That this isn't how family treats each other. It was an accident that no one told me but it's not her fault. She assumed I had been told and assumed I'd be ok with having the kids because I have before (with discussion and coordination that is!).
She thinks I was being really selfish and childish and purposely going out of my way to an AH. She's even saying I'm lucky they didn't call the police on me for child abandonment because they expected me to be home and able to care for them all. I told her that's ridiculous.
You can't just assume and expect things without my permission and input and you can't report me to the police for not wanting to care for your babies. Was I being an AH for all this? Should I have just kept things peaceful and spent time with the kids since I got the time off anyway I could have done some fun things with them, but I really didn't want to.
My house is NOT kid proof and I honestly don't really enjoy spending time with kids (yes I had my own, but I'm not really a kid person and he's an adult now those days are behind me, I'm not very interested in reliving them with other people's kids).
Here are the top rated comments from readers:
NTA 100% the gall to not even invite you then just assume you’d be taking the kids? I’m assuming they didn’t even bother offering you hefty compensation for it. If anything, you would have been in the right if you stayed home and they dropped off their kids and you called the police for abandonment.
OP is a hero!!! Brilliant move to leave for vacation the day before they did. I also love that several people had to drop out of the trip. Serves them right! They are all selfish, entitled, and hurtful. OP is a genius, nta.
NTA. They 100% planned this. They purposely excluded you, I’m happy you didn’t let them push you around. Plus, what about monetary accommodations? Did they expect you to pay for these kids the time that they are gone? And I would DARE her to call the police on you. There’s absolutely no proof that you agreed to babysit the kids.
Hell No !!! Where was 'Family ' being considered when they deliberately left you out of planning. Where was Family when you said you were going and the they said there was no more places on the cruise. They owe you a huge apology. They assumed that you would just be OK with their plan. I would send them a message:
'I don't know who planned this but at no point was I asked or consulted about babysitting while everyone was in Hawaii. Any person in their right mind should have had the decency to ask me if I wanted to go on this trip or at least had the decency to ask. Instead all of you just assumed I would be your lackey and just go along with the plans you made without consulting me.
I owe an apology to none of you. As you didn't see the need to consider me, I didn't see the need to consider you when I decided to go on my own vacation. I owe no explanations for my actions.
And now Cousin has threatened me with calling the Police on me for Child Abandonment and that I owe the family an apology for a plan you all concocted. For Cousin to say that is not how you treat family is correct. The way you treated me concerning this trip is not how you treat family. Your actions were insulting and inexcusable.
Thank you for showing me who you really are and how you view me when it comes to being 'Family'. Don't call me, as you guys clearly only see me as a babysitter and not really part of the 'Family '. I will contact you if and when I feel like it.'
Drop the rope. Family obviously doesn't mean the same to you. They are oblivious self-righteous idiots. Go hang out with the family you have created with your BF and Adult son.
PS some how I think either your sister or cousin was the mastermind behind this and told everyone that you wouldn't want to go. I really hate to think your entire family was that ignorant. Either way, take a break from them. To be that inconsiderate without consulting you is inexcusable either way.