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Man refuses to go on family NYE trip wife booked 'against his wishes,' tells kids he has work.

Man refuses to go on family NYE trip wife booked 'against his wishes,' tells kids he has work.


Oftentimes, it's impossible to fully hide a "parental fight" from the kids, particularly if it affects family plans.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for refusing to go on a trip his wife undercut him on. He wrote:

"AITA for refusing to go on a trip my wife undercut me on?"

For some context, my Wife (36F) and I (38M) have two kids (F6, M8). This whole thing started back around Thanksgiving when my wife told me that the kids had wanted to go to Great Wolf Lodge, and that it could be a nice gift trip for Christmas. Immediately, I made it very clear that I was against that, primarily for two reasons.

1. That place is dirty as f#$k. Pretty much every story I have heard from friends and family about that place involves the kids coming home sick.

2. It's also super expensive. Rooms go for at least $400. And that's not including meals, snacks, souvenirs, and whatever else, all also at a premium.

As the month continues to roll by, her & I continue to plan presents for the kids.

She had never said anything more to me about it, so I figured she had decided against it (the presents were ordered by her bc the Amazon Prime is on her account, but I knew what she was getting.) Anyways, on the 16th, she let me know that she had booked the trip. I immediately asked her why she had gone against me & she said that the kids wanted it and that it would be fun.

I told her that we really couldn't afford it, especially being last minute and over New Years (I already had taken the week between Christmas and New Years off), with inflation (we're both making pretty much the same as pre-pandemic when you adjust for inflation), plus helping to pay my mother's hospital bills from this fall, and she said we would figure it out.

I had also been planning to surprise her by taking her out to a nice dinner and drinks on NYE, and had even let our babysitter know and put in a reservation at her favorite nice restaurant, both of which I had to cancel. I have decided that I will not be going and have told my wife as such. I have also told the kids and when they asked me why I told them that it was a work conflict, as to not worry them.

Redditors kept it real in the comments.

mallad wrote:

ESH or mildly YTA. While monetary concerns may be valid, the others are meh. She shouldn't have booked without you, but sounds more like you voiced concern but didn't flat say no. More importantly, if they're going regardless, YTA for not going. That isn't related to your concerns, that's trying to get back at your wife on principle.

If the kids will get sick or think it's gross, they will even if you don't go. It will cost the same per night if you don't go. So none of your concerns are valid reasons for you to skip out on the trip, and unless you're the dad who makes trips a stressful nightmare, your kids will notice your absence and miss you.

Then again, if you're the dad who sulks, pouts, and needs some power, maybe they'd have more fun without you? Hopefully, that's not the case, and if so maybe you should go anyway and correct that, and chill out a bit with them. Like I said, the money is gone, the trip is happening, so you not going won't change a thing unless it's a bluff to get her to cancel.

jaefreeze88 wrote:

We went several times in the Poconos when my daughter was growing up. We always had a fantastic time and never had any illness issues.

sportsfan3177 wrote:

I agree that GWL is a cesspool of bacteria and super gross and your wife shouldn’t have planned an expensive trip without thoroughly discussing it with you first. But the trip is booked, your children are aware and excited. You should suck it up, like an adult, and join your family on this trip. ESH.

SpruceGoose133 wrote:

This is for your kids. YTA, say the plans are back on or they go without you but you don't get to choose what the wife gets the kids. And as for your mom's medical bills, quit paying them and they can write it off. You just pay to keep her meds.

Clearly, no one can agree on this onw.

Sources: Reddit
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