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Man tells wife he doesn't want to vacation with her 'annoying' family anymore. UPDATED.

Man tells wife he doesn't want to vacation with her 'annoying' family anymore. UPDATED.


There are a lot of people who are wonderful to hang out with, but make for awful traveling companions. In fact, more people fall under this umbrella than don't.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he's wrong for not wanting to vacation with his wife's family anymore. He wrote:

"AITA for not wanting to go on another vacation with my wife’s family?"

Wife always wants our family of 5 to go on vacations with her mom, dad, and sister. AITA for not wanting to do this anymore? We usually VRBO or AirBNB. They do not contribute any work (always stuff to do when you get a rental house), food, etc. Most of the time they ditch us to do their own thing (eat out, go to bars, etc.). They are annoying in their habits (tv on loud, take up the common spaces.

Otherwise, I care about them and get along with them. They are just the worst travel companions to our family’s vacations which are geared with our young kids in mind. After the last one (sister, mom, and dad went out 3/4 nights without us, sister rarely hung out with us, mom was in her own world, dad would sit in front of the tv being very loud and drink all day), I said I was done. Am I wrong here?

Keep in mind they won’t change their habits as they are elderly (the parents) and sister is selfish and lives life to do her own thing. They will not babysit for us, they will not add any joy or the vacation or benefit to us. Yet my wife persists in inviting them.

The internet had a lot of comments to share.

shiplauncherscousin wrote:

NTA. The point most commentators seem to be missing is that your in-laws do NOTHING to help with maintenance or meals while holidaying in an AIR BNB. The least they could do, since they seem to do nothing and go nowhere, except the SIL, is to watch the kids once. Personally, I don’t understand people who refuse to help others, especially family.

thirdtryisthecharm had a key question:

INFO. Who's paying for what? This sounds like you guys just have a very different idea of how to vacation. They are in common areas if you want to socialize. But other than that they do their own thing, because you are also doing your own thing with the kids. They're not free babysitting.

"They will not babysit for us, they will not add any joy or the vacation or benefit to us."

Have you talk with your wife? Why is spending time with them in the common areas not adding joy?

And OP responded:

We pay for the VRBO. We pay for all the food in house, drinking water, coffee, snacks, etc. As far as the common area. For instance, the main living room will be taken over by her father and he’ll watch what he wants at a volume rival movie theatres.

Only when he is doing something else or taking a nap will the tv be relinquished from his control. So it’s always a hassle to ask to change it for the kids so they can take a break and chill out. As an example. There is no joy because they primarily plan their own thing. Even if everyone is in the same room they will be planning their next move, dinner, outing, whatever.

SteveRice34 wrote:

Dude, you're definitely not the AH here. Family vacations sound like a nightmare with these in-laws and their annoying habits. Plus, they don't even contribute or hang out with your fam? No thanks. Your wife needs to get on board with ditching them for vacay time before your sanity goes down the drain.

ParsimoniousSalad had a question:

INFO: Do your children enjoy having them around on these trips? You seem mostly focused on what they do with you, or whether they provide a benefit to you and your wife as a couple. Valid issues, but your children also matter.

And OP responded:

Well, my kids are young, so they love their family regardless. However, I suspect if the status quo continues, when my kids are older they will realize that my wife’s family is kinda selfish and don’t really engage with them that much. They don’t really engage with them at all really at least not giving their undivided attention to them.

zxcvbqerwty wrote:


Occasional travel with in-laws is one thing, but “always” as OP is unacceptable.

OP is NTA here, this sounds deeply stressful all around.

Sources: Reddit
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