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MIL gives son and DIL twin bunk bed on family vacation, everyone else gets queen beds.

MIL gives son and DIL twin bunk bed on family vacation, everyone else gets queen beds.


There's nothing quite like the emotional whirlwind that surrounds a family vacation. In theory, it should be a time full of bonding and relaxation. But in reality, the loaded emotional dynamics of family get turned up to 10 when you're cramped in a getaway car.

Impressively, sometimes the drama doesn't even wait for the trip itself to start. All you have to do is mention the sleeping and eating arrangements, and the feelings go flying.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for pointing out the unfairness of sleeping in a twin bunk with her husband on family vacation.

She wrote:

WIBTA for making a big deal out of sleeping in a twin bunk bed with SO?

My (21F) husband's (21M) mother (44F) has invited us to go on vacation at a cabin that is a few hour drive. My husband and MIL have disagreed/ fought on many things and have finally decided to put the past behind them. My husband, his two brothers, SIL, his brother's foster kid, mom, cousins, and cousins SOs are invited.

There will be 10 of us in total. The last few vacations we were not invited and not even aware until photos were posted on social media, we were understandably hurt, but my husband didn't want to make anyone aware. My MIL just informed my husband that we would be the two people using the bunk beds at the vacation home. While the two children will be getting their own rooms with queen beds.

When we were first looking at the pictures and listing of the Airbnb, I made a joke that MIL would make us use the bunk bed. Unfortunately, it is now not a joke. Us and his brother and SIL are the only married couples going on this trip. MIL is single, both cousins and SOs are newly dating, and the other brother and foster child are both 10 or younger.

We are making all the meals for an entire day out of this trip, while my BIL and his wife will be taking a card of another day, and we are ordering out the last day. Since MIL paid for it, she will not be providing any food. I was in disbelief when my hubby told me, and he said we would have to purchase and bring an air mattress if it would even fit, which we are unsure if it will.

I feel like we are still unwelcome to this family function, and personally, I don't feel like going anymore.My husband is upset as well but is complacent with not voicing our concerns. I'm not feeling welcome and am anxious about how the weekend will go. I know we aren't the ones paying for the cabin, and we don't always fit in with the rest of the family, but it feels disrespectful to me.

WIBTA, if I didn't go or if I voiced how I'm feeling in some way?

TL;DR MIL does not usually invite us to family vacations, invited us, and is having my hubby and I use twin bunk beds while everyone, even the children, get seperate rooms and queen beds.

EDIT: I realize my wording may have come across differently than intended. We are more than happy to chip in, and whether we attend or not, the Airbnb will be used by the family. We are not upset at all for planning and paying for everyone's food for an entire day, I just wish we were shown a bit more respect from MIL or more so, I'm wondering why we are being treated differently.

The thread soon filled up with all manner of hot take.

Mobabyhomeslice wrote:

Here's what you do:

When you get to the cabin, get there first, go to one of the rooms that she designated for the kids, and just claim the room.

If she tries to call you out for being in the wrong room, go 'Oh really? I thought you were joking! We had a good laugh about it...' and just keep setting up in the room with the queen bed.

Alternatively, you could swap rooms with the kids behind MIL's back. Then, when she tries to send you to the bunk bed room, just go, 'Oh, we decided to switch with the kids. They'd MUCH rather sleep in the bunk beds. You know how fun bunk beds are to kids!' and then walk away.

My guess is, she's trying to get a rise out of you. She wants you to get all upset and then refuse to come so that she can technically claim that you were so graciously invited by her, but you chose not to come! Don't take the bait. Take the room you want. Ignore her attempts to put you in the wrong room.

truckthunderwood wrote:

NTA, adults sharing a bunk bed while two children have private queen beds is absolutely bonkers.

Impossible_Balance11 wrote:

Make a group chat with her and all other invited adults: 'MIL, thank you for inviting us on the family trip this time, but can you please clarify for all of us why you want DH and I to use the twin beds while the kids each get a queen?' Call that s**t out, right in the open.

AnarchyAcid wrote:

NTA. Don’t go. Regardless of all the other stuff, I just don’t like being places I don’t feel welcome. If hubby wants to go, let him, have a movie night alone at home. If I went, I’d end up being petty and passive-aggressive the whole time anyways, so why make everyone’s trip bad?

The question at hand clearly isn't whether OP is AH, but rather, whether it's worth even going at all.

Sources: Reddit
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