I (41F) have been with my husband "Derek" (42M) for 15 years now, married for 10. His family welcomed me with open arms, except for his mother, Gail (67F). Gail never liked me; she called me a gold digger (her husband is an anesthesiologist while I mostly work from home as an automotive journalist with travel to autoshows here and there) and said I'd never be good enough for her boy.
Since Derek's sister is turning 40 this year, Gail planned a huge vacation, and invited me. I accepted and made plans, and told my boss which days I needed off. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, and I was honestly really looking forward to it.
Gail then told me the flight was full and there wasn't any room for me. But when I logged on, there were plenty of seats left. I was beyond livid, but decided it was better if I didn't go.
I told my boss that the vacation got canceled and I wanted to be scheduled those dates I had taken off. He told me about an autoshow happening in the same city Derek's family was vacationing at and I decided it was worth it and my coworkers went with me. We were supposed to photograph and videotape the unveiling of a new car, and write about our first impressions.
We arrived at the airport (I told Derek about my work trip) and Gail was livid. I told her that her lie was completely bogus and she got even madder when my coworkers and I boarded first class.
We had a great time, but Gail made a scene at the autoshow before being kicked out, and Derek chastised her for publicizing "family drama" at my job. We also saw her at a couple other places my coworkers and I went to (completely by chance) and (mostly) managed to avoid Gail.
When we got back, Gail emailed me that I "ruined" the vacation for her and Derek's sister (who later reached out and apologized for Gail's actions). Derek and his sister are on my side, but the rest of the family is divided. So buttfaces, you decide: AITBF?
Edit: the trip I went on was for work, but we also had time to do what we wanted. We never intended for Gail to cause problems. Also, Gail was at the autoshow since she was looking for a new car, but saw me and went insane when she made a scene.
NTBF. Why do you and your husband allow this kind of behavior from her?
Wow! Why did your husband go on the trip after she lied about the flight?
Karma paid her a little visit and her lies were exposed The only one that ruined that trip was your MIL.
You have a husband problem.
I don't understand why your husband panders to this woman. She got caught in a lie clearly trying to exclude you, and he still went on vacation with her? Not cool. Sure he got mad at her when she made a public scene, but why didn't he call her on her bVllsh!t before that?
NTB.... you were working and she was being a public nuisance, as for the other times she saw you, she's a grown ass adult, she can grow the f@#% up. Like just because she has problems doesn't mean she needs to take them out on you. Like you're allowed to exist in the same place as her. She quite obviously has problems she has yet to work out and the fact that she's taking that all out on you is not cool.
Girl, your husband is the biggest issue here. Obviously you’re NTB, but your husband and MIL are.
NTB she exactly knew what she was doing and planned to not make you come when she invited you ( she only invited you to keep up appearances) . But honestly OP, despite calling her out your husband should enforce boundaries further with consequences. He should not tolerate her behaviour towards you. He should put her on time out . And definetly not coming to any event you re purposely excluded.
NTB!! Seems like the whole family agrees. At least you have their support. I think your husband is doing a good job balancing between you and your mother from the sounds of it. But he should be more clear about your boundaries. It’s weird she’s still doing this highschool pranks on you.