Woman wants to skip 'romantic getaway' with BF after he invites friend. AITA?
It can be hard to carve out quality couple time with a partner when you're both slammed with work and life obligations. Even when you get a moment to breathe, it's hard to stay present and really soak in each other's company when you're bombarded by the stressors of your daily life.
This is one of the many reasons that a romantic vacation can be such a godsend. The new location and the temporary luxury can give you just what you need to really embrace and see each other without the noise.
But taking a vacation solo as a couple and taking a vacation with a friend or family member is a very different scenario.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for refusing to go on vacation with her boyfriend because he invited his friend last minute.
She wrote:
AITA for refusing to go on vacation with my boyfriend because he invited his friend without telling me?
So in a couple of weeks my boyfriend and I have planned to go to France for a couple of days as a “romantic getaway” his own words not mine, just to spend some quality time together because we’ve both been busy with work. I was excited about the trip and to spend some quality time with my boyfriend but then he drops this bombshell on me.
He invited one of his friends because apparently he’s always wanted to see France so my boyfriend thought he would be kind and asked his friend to come along.
So this was a big shock to me and told my boyfriend about my concerns, he told me that his friend has already paid for his flight ticket and he said that he was planning on either changing our hotel room to a room with two beds or his friend would sleep on the sofa.
He did all of this without telling me a thing. I told my boyfriend that quite frankly, I don’t want his friend to come and it was supposed to be a romantic getaway, but he said that his friend won't bother us and he’ll do his own thing, but I don’t know, I just don’t feel comfortable with it.
We argued for a bit more with him saying that he paid for most of the trip so he feels entitled to be able to bring his friend along. In the end, I just got so fed up and I may be a bit dramatic but I felt betrayed so I told him I wouldn’t be coming if his friend was.
He said I was being ridiculous and I should go since it's been paid for anyway and I was being overly dramatic but this is how I feel, he said I was being manipulative and cruel for making him choose between me and his friend. AITA?
The thread quickly filled up with people's opinions.
Outrageously_Penguin wrote:
NTA. He can enjoy a romantic getaway with his friend— it sounds like that’s what he wants anyways. He doesn’t respect you. Keep that in mind going forward.
morgaine125 wrote:
NTA. He unilaterally changed the trip. You are entitled to decide you no longer wish to go. And I really hope he isn’t expecting you to be comfortable sharing a bed with him with someone else five feet away.
residentcaprice wrote:
NTA. How is it a romantic getaway if there is someone else snoring in the next bed/sofa?
YouthNAsia63 wrote:
NTA. One does not have a “romantic getaway” when there is a third wheel coming along. This isn’t you and your BFF going traveling-this is the person you have s*x with…going to a place many people think is synonymous with romance.
Your BF wants his friend to sleep on the sofa or another bed in the same room? In what world would this be even remotely a good idea? WTF is wrong with your BF. Is your BF that clueless or does he want a threesome? Well, now he can just go with his buddy.
DumbestManEver wrote:
This vacation sounds like he’s designing it to see more than one “Eiffel Tower.”
I’ll show myself out. NTA.
Parking-Employee-974 wrote:
NTA. Definitely. If it was intended to be a romantic getaway then I don't know how that can be achieved with a friend coming along. Unless he has other ideas about the 'friendship.'
It's clear that OP is NTA, but what's unclear is whether her boyfriend invited his friend for platonic or non-platonic reasons.