Man has to do serious damage control after creating Valentine's Day game for his wife.

"TIFU by making an interactive Valentine's Day card for my wife"

Ancient_Educator_76

Welp, this is what I get for dialing it in...

I'm an Algebra teacher by day, drive-thru operator by night, and hopeless romantic in every spare moment I get.

I used to be super creative with my gifts of love, like handcrafted soaps in the letters of my love's name, a list of 23 reasons why I love her (before lists were super cool or whatever; okay maybe this one isn't so creative, but she loved it), cute drawings including her favorite cartoon characters and colors, all that jazz.

Since I got into teaching, I've gotten into the habit of stealing ideas from the school setting, or using gift cards given to me to regift to the Mrs. even. These go over pretty well. She ain't picky; she knows I love her.

This time around, however, not only did I let the cat out of the bag a bit early, but come to find out that this cat happens to be one she is severely allergic to, manifesting as a snarky/angry/argumentative rash. Downright sardonic, to be honest.

I have awakened a side of this woman I've rarely seen, never in my last decade and a half of marriage. I should have thought about this one. The idea I had was, again, a copy of an idea I received as a teacher.

Each teacher received a Bingo card from the Social Committee, and each space had an issue or situation that teachers have to deal with on a regular basis, like "received a 500+ word email from a parent", "fell asleep at a meeting," or "technology issues during a formal evaluation" (shortened to Tech Fail during Eval to fit the space.)

It was pretty creative, and each email we got called a "number" that was a specific situation, and the winner won a prize the first to Bingo. Well, I got the brilliant idea to make a similar Bingo Card called "Op's Wife Bingo!", making up categories for each space based on things that are legitimate stresses she has to deal with on the regular or things that's specific to her.

I made a Legend where if she gets a Bingo she picks 3 additional chores for me to do, coverall being Ladies' Choice, and four corners being ___opoly (a certain version of Monopoly.)

But if she lands on Free Parking she has to roll the dice and put one of six body parts on one of six of mine {rolling two six sided dice}. If I land free parking it's the opposite, etc. Now, that was a fun present for both of us.

Here is the crux of the FU: The categories/spaces I chose: "Lose at Bunco", "Hit Snooze one too many times", "Argue in a Grocery Store", "Talk to a sleeping Man", "Yelling Names", "Unpaid Uber day", "Last minute change of plans", "Huh?", "Credit Card Juggling", "Scoop Cat Litter", and a few more that are even lower stakes (so I thought).

Another part of the FU was that I was using my laptop, literally on my lap during our shows (Law and Order: Organized Crime), and I chose to switch tabs to "OPWifey Bingo" to add a couple more categories that I haven't thought of yet. This caught wifey's attention, so she leaned over to look as I inched it away from her like I was looking at Cornhub.

She smiled for a second, then after about three seconds she frowned, stared at me, then leaned back in her seat, looking defeated. I looked at her the way a dog looks at his owner the first time said owner farts.

I was confused, I suppose. I didn't say anything about being confused, but she evidently sensed it, so she dug right in, saying "Look, you're the only reason I fight in the grocery store, I yell the names because it's the only way kids get up, and I hit snooze because I'm exhausted, OKAY???!!!".

She then categorically defended every square with precision, I swear to gawd in order, top to bottom, left to right. It was impressive. I've never been so amazed whilst being assigned a new sleeping surface. I could say that I hit a nerve, but evidently I've managed to hit all of them.

As she aggressively loads the dishwasher, I wonder what sort of miracle it's going to take to fix this spousal PR nightmare before actual Valentine's Day. As you can read, the fallout is continuously falling as I type this. Updates to follow.

Here were the top rated comments from readers:

linedancergal

The problem is that those aren't stressors, they're the reaction to stress. They need to be things like: Didn't get enough sleep. Kids didn't listen to instructìons. Someone left a tissue in their dirty washing That way it's the stressful things in her life, rather than how they affect her.

Engineer-Huge

Exactly this. In OP’s school thing they didn’t say “cried at an email”, they said “got a long email” (I know not exactly, but close enough). OP didn’t say “kids up all night” or “husband gets wrong thing at store” or whatever. He wrote out her worse reactions to those things. Making it feel mean spirited to her.

The OP responded here:

Ancient_Educator_76

Thank you for helping with this!! I'm a dunce when it comes to emotional intelligence, so I truly thank you for helping me through it. I'll see if she takes the adjustment a little better.

dbtl87

An emotional labour bingo card 🤧🤧🤧🤧 holy smokes. Good luck OP.

RatherBeAtDisneyland

Oh Jesus. That was not a romantic gift in the slightest. Sorry, you really messed that one up. It looks like you are complaining/nitpicking about all the little things about her that are negative, or are annoying chores she has to do.

There’s zero romantic about it. There’s no positives. There’s no part of it that makes her feel good about herself. It all either makes her feel worse about things she might not like about herself already, or mad at things she does, but doesn’t want to be known for.

You need to figure out how to genuinely say sorry, and explain how you completely messed up. Figure out something else completely for valentines. Also, you should have gotten the hint about how badly that would go from your examples. They aren’t even positive. It’s not like “got to pet a puppy”, “saw a pretty flower”. It’s all annoying things.

So, do you think the OP's wife was being too sensitive? Have you ever made a Valentine's Day mistake like this?