Woman ditches BF at wedding when she learns she is replacement 'plus one.' AITA?
The runaway bridal guest.
One woman was stuck in an uncomfortable position when she found out her 'plus one' to her boyfriend's friend's wedding was meant for someone else. Since they had broken up, the soon-to-be newly weds had assumed that her boyfriend would not be using a plus one. The stress of an extra guest was enough to send the bride spiralling. So, this OP thought she was helping by faking an emergency to leave. Turns out, she stirred up even more drama.
AITA for faking a work emergency to get out of a wedding?
I (28F) have been with my boyfriend (29M) for about 8 months. Last weekend 2 friends of his were getting married, he's from Scotland and we live south of England, so I haven't met any of those friends yet.
Originally, the wedding was in 2020 obviously, COVID postponed it, and then, due to a death in the grooms family, it only happened last Saturday.
When the original invite went out, my BF was dating someone else for about 2 years, and he RSVP'd a plus one. When the new date was decided, they didn't send new invites (expensive), just a text or email with the new date & time. When my boyfriend asked me to attend, I foolishly didn't think to ask if the bride knew I was coming because he assured me he had a plus 1.
On Friday, we get to the pre-wedding reception, and when we get to the bride and groom, immediately I realise the issue. The bride is shocked my BF has brought someone. When my BF said he RSVPd plus 1, the bride said yes, but that had been when you were dating EX.
We walk away, and suddenly I can hear the bride panicking saying, 'we don't have the seats or the food,' and she starts crying. I feel awful, she spent the next 2 hours crying in the corner, being consoled by her MOH that she didn't need extra stress.
The groom said it's fine but is obviously uncomfortable, so I faked a call and then came back and claimed a work emergency. Said I had to leave ASAP.
I apologised to the groom and bride, who stopped crying enough to say it was lovely to meet me. I then got a taxi and a train home.
When my boyfriend got back Monday, he asked me about the emergency, and I explained I had lied so the bride didn't have to stress about me being there, and he gets livid.
He called me an a**hole and said that not only did I leave him on his own all weekend, but all his friends thought I prioritised work over the wedding and that I made a horrible impression.
I thought I was helping the situation by not being there and stressing out the wedding party, I said work emergency because for a family emergency my boyfriend would have felt obligated to come with me and I wanted him to stay and enjoy the wedding. AITA?
Here is the top feedback from readers:
NTA your boyfriend however is an AH. He absolutely should have confirmed he still had a plus 1. A simple phone call would’ve saved everyone the grief.
TBH I would’ve done the same as you given the bride was upset and knowing the stress that goes into planning a wedding, an unexpected guest throws out the seating and meals.
BF didn’t care about anyone else but himself. He should have confirmed he had a plus one still. He saw the bride panicking and the issues and his only concern was he didn’t have a date and how it effected HIM.
NTA- The wedding wasn’t about him it was about the bride and I’m sure she really appreciated you taking a classy way out to save her drama on her big day. He was selfish. Anyone who’d judge you for helping out a total stranger on their wedding day is a crappy person.
Strong NTA. You were put in a ridiculously awkward position by your boyfriend, who should have checked beforehand with his friends whether he still had a plus one after his breakup. And by the bride and groom, who probably should have been on top of this too.
You told a white lie to make things easier on everyone in a really difficult situation - the bride was having a meltdown right before her wedding and it doesn’t sound like anyone else was acting to resolve things. I imagine your train home wasn’t cheap, either!
Seems pretty harsh that your boyfriend is reacting like this, making you feel like sh*t about his friends’ impression of you, when he should be grovelling for the situation they put you in and worrying that they’ve made a bad impression on you! He sounds like an a**hole.
It sounds like you did this out of kindness, to the couple. I get your bf doesn't like to be lied to, maybe you could have told him what was up. But why is he so upset you left? You left him alone? The friends were upset you prioritized your work over a wedding of 2 people you'd just met? What now?
You'd never have done it if they hadn't gone into a tailspin of worry over your presence. I'm going with NTA. You were trying to do the right thing.
NTA. Everyone else over-reacted absurdly, especially the bride and your BF. The bride's MULTI HOUR meltdown? Just how f*cking fragile is she? What the f*ck did your BF want you to do? You were in a no-win situation.
Stay and stress the bride. Go and he's p*ssed that he's 'alone'. Make up an excuse and he sh*ts on you. If you'd said 'OK bride I'll bail to save you stress, love ya, good luck' he's STILL have played the 'me so lonely' card. And how come your BF didn't think to clear this with bride beforehand?
He and his friends are all unreasonable a**holes. Your BF is not supportive at all. He's a bad BF. You can find a better BF. Do that.