Man tells fiancee she 'doesn't deserve' to wear white because she is not 'pure'.
Weddings are often all about the bride, but one bride-to-be was stunned when her fiancé insisted that she did not belong in a traditional white dress.
My Husband to be wants everyone to know I’m not “pure”.
It’s exactly what the title says. I’ve been with my fiancé for 6 years and engaged for the past 8 months. I’ve been doing most of the wedding planning but my fiancé, let’s just call him Ryan, will give his input here and there.
So about a month ago Ryan out of nowhere said he was talking to some of his coworkers and thinks that I shouldn’t wear a white dress. This was totally weird to me. Ryan is a very artistic guy, so I figured this was more about how the photos would turn out or something along those lines, but I’m set on wearing white.
I told him this and I could see that he was annoyed but he let it go. 2 weeks ago I finally picked and paid for my dress and this caused a huge argument. Ryan again came to me very annoyed.
He asked to see the dress I picked, but I said no because I wanted it to be a surprise for our wedding day. He asked me to at least tell him what color it was, and when I said white, he threw a fit.
I honestly do not see why this was a big deal, almost everyone wears white on their wedding day. When I asked him what color he thought I’d be wearing, he told me I should wear red. Again, this was super weird to me. I asked him why I would wear red to our wedding, and he told me that brides only wear white when they are pure.
For some background, Ryan and I started dating when I was 21 and he just turned 20. He was a virgin when we met, and I only had one other person who was my ex-boyfriend of four years throughout high school.
This caused a lot of problems the first year of our relationship and we almost did not continue dating because of how insecure he felt. After that first year, it was never a problem again until now I guess.
He went to his mom about all of this thinking she would convince me but she’s on my side. So 2 nights ago, Ryan, his mom and I stood in our living room and argued about my sex life being shown in a dress.
His mom stated that he is no longer a virgin either so maybe he should wear red too and he burst out crying. Ryan is still stating that me wearing white would be deceiving all of the guests and that it is different for guys.
This all has honestly made me question even marrying this man. I don’t know if it’s just because everything is so fresh but I’m really disgusted by him. He’s not even religious so I know this is just about him still thinking about me losing my virginity at 18 before I even knew him. I just needed to rant to anyone about his psycho this is.
Reddit had a pretty universal opinion on this one.
This is just one sign of a much deeper issue.This man has been hiding a part of himself from you. I wouldn't necessarily say this should mean it's enough reason to end the relationship, but definitely call it quits on the wedding and try to figure out what issues lie within your boyfriend.
Tell your fiance white dresses have only been standard wedding attire since Queen Victoria picked it in 1840, and she is also the person who arbitrarily decided that white=purity. She literally made it up!
You need to sit this dude down and tell him point-blank that you will not tolerate him acting like this, and you demand pre-marital counseling or you will cancel the wedding.
I know you think you have to stay with him because you are paying for a wedding and you don't want to waste six years of your youth and all your deposits in one go, but you don't have to put up with it.
I broke up with my ex-fiance a month before the wedding because he was a terrible person and the closer we got to the date, the more I dreaded sharing my life with him, and the more sure I was I didn't want him to have 50% of my property! Besides, terrible endings always bring around great beginnings. Get your life back!
I know everyone says to run for the hills, but I highly suggest PRE marriage counseling. That way you both can explore your insecurities and see whats behind his reasoning and try to solve the problems together with the guidance of someone who doesn't take sides.
That way you can at least say you tried instead of taking any rash impulsive decisions yet. I hope you 2 can work it out. If not, it is what it is and you both are still young to find happiness with someone else. Best of luck!
He can sew matching red wedding outfits with the material from that giant red flag.
The OP never updated readers on this post.
But we searched the site and found a new post from the OP's account on another Reddit thread just 14 days later:
What do I wear on my first “first date” in 6 years?
I’m in my late 20’s and just broke off an engagement. This is going to be my first date in many many years. We’re going to a nice waterfront sea food restaurant in North Carolina. It’s a beach, but also November so I have no idea what would be appropriate.
Many readers recognized this OP's username right away and shared their support and congratulations for her newfound independence.
OMG YES! So happy you dumped that weirdo!
Honestly anyone that read your prior post would say who cares go in your jammies if that makes you happy! Seeing as you got rid of the lunatic off your back!!! Congratulations on moving on to better and happier times!!! As far as outfits go, something cute like black pants and a cute top with a sweater that can be buttoned up if it gets chilly. Congratulations again!!!!!
Poor old Ryan. In his late 20s now. Gonna find tracking down a virgin for his next partner even trickier. Not to mention getting his mind blown first time he goes to a wedding where the brides is in white and her children are there.
Broke off a 6 year relationship & engagement and 15 days between posts and already dating? How can you go from engaged to dating in 15 days? Don’t you need time to recover? I’d be devastated & not want to be w anyone for a while.
I yelled 'EHHH LETS GO!' When I read this. Good on you for dumping him! Wear whatever you feel most powerful in. If its a dinner date wear a nice dress and a warm but fashionable coat. Or a nice blouse and some fancy pants.