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AITA because I didn't stay at my own wedding reception after my SIL had a tantrum?

AITA because I didn't stay at my own wedding reception after my SIL had a tantrum?


We all have our breaking point, if we're lucky, no one will document it with a video camera.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for leaving her wedding reception after her SIL had a tantrum. She wrote:

"AITA because I didn't stay at my own wedding reception after my SIL had a tantrum?"

Some short background, I (27F) am from the UK while my husband (38 M) is from the US, we've been doing long distance for 2 years at this point where he comes to visit and we were saving up for me to visit there but Its expensive and my son has school. Which if you've been on holiday in term time you know its 1000 times more expensive than not.

I've met my in-laws over video calls but not in person until a week before my actually wedding, whereas I'd met my husband at least 10 times in them 2 years of us dating, him staying with me 2 weeks or longer each time. When I got to America and we finally met the family, it was hard because they claimed they wanted to get to know me so many times but none of them actually tried to make conversation with me.

They didn't ask questions and they were all talking about things I had no idea on as it was sports or something I couldn't even try to engage in, like reliving memories I couldn't really comment on other than, "that sounds awesome" or "that's great."

But they kept claiming they so wanted to get to know me and me going outside every now and then to get a breather from awkward social situations (having severe anxiety) was "them being unable to get to know me," I felt ignored and invisible.

The wedding day itself went great we got ready got married and started partying, kind of, again same situation, no one spoke to me. The only people who actually had conversations with me were my friends and we went outside together while she had a smoke because I didn't wanna be alone.

Me and my husband spent most of our time together and around 8pm, my friends left no one was speaking to me and my husband much at that point. 9pm rolls around and I get out of my dress and start trying to pack things up so then there wasn't much that needed to be done at the end of the night.

WELL that's when SIL(48 F) realizes we're leaving and my husband is currently playing with my son (who is 5 years old) and his cousin too preoccupied to hear his sister scream at me asking if we're leaving, like she was in severe shock. She screamed at me 3 times until she then stormed out and well threw a tantrum.

My husband tried to go and calm her but that didn't work and she continued cried when I let my husband know that the Uber is here and we gotta go. I was exhausted and extremely annoyed at this point after being screamed at and completely exhausted, I just wanted to leave so i shouted to my husband that I'm leaving with or without him.

I know wasn't my brightest moment but I was tired especially with my body clock not changing either. We left and now his sister is mad, her husband is mad and decided the wedding video he took of us. He said we can't have because I was "immature" for not staying a little longer when I saw SIL was upset.

I do understand her being upset but at the same time could she not of pulled us aside and had a civil conversation with us rather than screaming at me and throwing a tantrum like a child.

Redditors jumped on with all of their thoughts.

FuzzyMom2005 wrote:

NTA. But this is your husband's problem. Just ignore her.

OP responded:

Yeah is pretty much what I have done. So has he too, he tried having an actual conversation with her but she couldn't accept that tantruming was totally fine and that we are in the wrong. There's no win in this. I just feel insane thinking maybe I was the A for leaving.

cherryblossom180 wrote:

NTA-it’s your wedding. The day should be about you and him. She’s out of line.

ziapelta wrote:

NTA. This is insane. It’s your wedding. It doesn’t matter if she wants to be with her brother. It’s all about you and your husband being together. She’s incidental. If she wants some time with her brother, find another day. Any other day.

MasterpieceActual176 wrote:

In my experience the newly married couple often leaves the reception to start their wedding night and the guests stay and party. I'm not sure what the sister was upset about. But the wedding day can be stressful and exhausting. It makes sense to want to leave and have some quiet time together.

Plus, you were dealing with the time change. NTA, it sounds like husband's family struggles to communicate. Could there also be different cultural expectations? NTA for sure. Sorry this happened on your wedding day.

OP is clearly NTA, but it does sound like she has a full plate with her in-laws and their antics.

Sources: Reddit
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