'AITA for going on my phone for an emergency at my best friend's wedding?'
"AITA for going on my phone for a emergency at my best friend's wedding?"
I don't even know what to think right now. My best friend since childhood got married last weekend. She had an unplugged wedding, an unplugged wedding is where you don’t go on your phone at all. I totally respect that and might even do it for my future wedding. The entire morning of her wedding was beautiful, and the ceremony was unforgettable. when the reception began, my sister called me.
I didn’t answer, but was confused why she was calling me because I told my family to not contact me since it was no phones. She blew my phone up, sending me around 70 calls. It got to the point where I had to answer. My best friend is usually understanding so I thought she would be okay with this. My sister told me my mom was in an accident.
(She’s okay btw, only a concussion) someone saw me on the phone and told my best friend. I went to go find my best friend to tell her I had to leave and she yelled at me for being on my phone. I explained the situation to her and she told me that wasn’t an excuse and I could have waited till after the wedding. I left immediately, not only because of her stupidity but because I also had to go to the hospital.
She’s texted me and cussed me out telling me that it wasn’t that hard to not be on my phone. A few of our friends and her husband also called me names. My family is saying I’m not the a hole but I can’t help but feel bad, I also don’t think this is worth loosing a life long friendship. She was like a sister to me. Also for context, I was not a bridesmaid, She didn’t have any bridesmaids.
Redditors jumped on to respond.
Lennie-n-thejets wrote:
One slight caveat...if it's an unplugged event and you must make/take a call, it's best to go out to the parking lot or somewhere private. But that's a very minor point of etiquette in the grand scheme of things.
And OP responded:
I did go to the parking lot, I would more understanding on why she was mad at me if I just openly took the call in front of everyone but I didn’t answer my sister until I was away from everyone.
XoXoXanadu wrote:
NTA. You were right to answer your sister's calls about your mom's accident, that's definitely an emergency situation. It's a bummer that your friend didn't understand and got upset, even after you explained it. Maybe give it a little time for everyone to cool off, then try having a talk with her about what happened.
It's hard when a long-time friendship hits a bump like this, but honest talks can sometimes clear the air. Just take care of yourself too, dealing with family emergencies and friend drama at the same time is no joke.
OP responded:
I don’t wanna lose her as a friend, but this situation has definitely opened my eyes to other situations where I should’ve dropped her. I’m gonna talk to her in a few days once she gets back from her honeymoon. I don’t wanna disturb her while she’s enjoying her vacation.
Time_Independent_271 wrote:
You agreed to the terms of the wedding, why did you even bring a phone in? YTAH. When the wedding was over, you would have gotten the message and gone to the hospital. A concussion is rarely life and death, and you kinda ruined you best friends wedding day. I don't get those saying the bride needs to apologize.
You were the one that chose to have a phone on you. You chose to answer it. There are consequences for your actions and choices. Did you expect your friend to praise you for doing the opposite of what you agreed to?
OP responded:
Because you keep your phone for emergencies like this? When my sister called me we didn’t know the extent. My mom slid on black ice (crashes from black ice can be fatal) and crashed. If your mom got into a crash and your sister was yelling that you didn’t to go to the hospital, you would be concerned to?
If I just answered my phone to talk to my sister then I would be the a hole. I don’t really understand what you mean by consequences? Her best friend who is already kinda toxic being rude to me for something I can’t control??
iluvsporks wrote:
First let me say I hope your Mom is OK. Still I'm going with YTA. There was 1 rule to follow that you agreed to in order to attend this wedding and that was no not use your phone. You broke that rule. Why was it even turned on? What if it turned out your Sister was just really bored or thought it would be funny to call given the no phone rule?
Finding out an hour or two later your Mom had a concussion doesn't sound horrible to me. If you genuinely can't be without your phone I feel you should have explained this to the bride to see if an accommodation could be made if not then declined the invitation.
OP responded:
If my sister was bored, that’s not my fault aswell. In any situation this really isn’t my fault even tho I’m getting made to feel like it is. She wouldn’t even had known if it wasn’t for someone telling her. if I was just scrolling on social media then yeah, I would understand. But I got 70+ calls, I had to answer or my phone would just keep going off.
PW1408 wrote:
So NTA. Why do brides think that every edict must be followed despite extenuating circumstances? (I used to be a wedding photog...this drama moment doesn't surprise me at all). You were right to answer your sister. No one calls that much unless there is an emergency. (glad she's ok).
Slow-Company-7711 wrote:
NTA first off…it’s usually unplugged CEREMONIES. Not through entire reception. You said the ceremony was unforgettable and noticed the calls at the reception. Which means you didn’t answer or even look at your phone during the ceremony. Therefore NTA.
An unplugged ceremony yes…an entire wedding no. There are probably a bunch of parents who left kids at home with a relative or babysitter- what if a kid had an emergency…would she flip out?
midwestyellowmoon wrote:
NTA Your mom was in an accident -- you went to the hospital. Your friend is not the center of the universe. And you didn't disrupt her wedding from what you describe. You want to save the friendship you say: So you're sorry you had to leave/handle a family emergency, but it was necessary. That's it. And maybe downgrade your friendship a little -- your BFF lacks empathy and is self-involved.
jippyzippylippy wrote:
NTA. It's a wedding reception, not the King's coronation. Your friend seems like she's the controlling AH in this situation and she owes you an apology.
OP is absolutely NTA here, her friend is being selfish.