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Bride's friend won't wear pink bridesmaid dress, bride kicks her out of the wedding.

Bride's friend won't wear pink bridesmaid dress, bride kicks her out of the wedding.


When this bride to be is torn, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for not letting my non-binary friend be a bridesmaid?'

I (22F) am I getting married soon and want a traditional style wedding with all bridesmaids and all groomsmen being uniform in their clothes. Originally I had 4 bridesmaids, all women apart from Ellie(24NB).

Ellie occasionally wears dresses and dresses femme so I thought it wouldn’t be a problem to have her as one of my bridesmaids. They were happy to be asked and accepted, knowing they would have to wear a dress and makeup.

They were kind of uncomfortable with the dress being pink but that wasn’t something I was going to chance since me and my fiancé decided on our wedding colours being pink/navy months before.

We decided on a long, simple A-line dress for all the bridesmaids with approval from everyone.

About a month before the wedding, Ellie texted me and told me they’d no longer be wearing a dress and makeup. They had short hair at the time of me asking them but it had since grown out. They told me the combination of the dress, makeup and long hair would make them feel uncomfortably feminine.

I told them that they either have to wear the dress or they can’t be a bridesmaid since I didn’t want her being the odd one out.

I’m being told by them and another bridesmaid that I’m being petty and an asshole and Ellie is even threatening to not come to the wedding at all. I thought it was a fair request at the start since they originally agreed to it but not I’m starting to wonder if i am the asshole.

Let's find out.

iamherewhatnext writes:

NTA. Had Ellie said something in the beginning it would be different, but knowing the expectation and agreeing to it only to later change their mind later makes it a challenge.

NB or not, if one of the female bridesmaids suddenly disagreed and wanted to change after the fact this wouldn't be an issue as they couldn't expect to still be a bridesmaid and not match the others.

kimrockr suggests:

NTA. Any chance Ellie would be more comfortable in the groomsman attire? It seems strange they don’t want the dress or makeup but isn’t really clarifying on what would make them comfortable and then still wanting to be a bridesmaid to the point of not attending.

At the end of the day it’s your wedding and they are there to support you. You’ve addressed the rules and traditional weddings are where gender roles are really at their performative peak so this late in the stage there is only so much you can do.

Well, looks like OP is NTA. Any suggestions for her?

Sources: Reddit
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