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Bride bans future MIL from wedding for calling her a 'used woman;' AITA?

Bride bans future MIL from wedding for calling her a 'used woman;' AITA?


Mother-in-laws can get a bad reputation for being judgmental and passive aggressive toward their sons' partners, but is banning the mother of your future husband crossing a line?

How many snide, under-the-breath comments can one mother make before her name gets scratched off the seating chart? So, when a conflicted bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about banning her overbearing and rude mother-in-law from her wedding, people were ready to help deem a verdict.

'AITA (Am I the As*hole) for banning my husband's mother from my wedding?'

I (27F) am getting married to my lovely fiancé (31M) this summer. I have a daughter from a previous partner, Hannah 8F and my fiancé has a son Riley 10M. Hannah and Riley are the reason my fiancé and I started dating each other all those years ago.

They became best friends in their swimming class a few years ago and my fiancé and I met like that. For this reason, we've decided to try and incorporate them into the wedding somehow in age appropriate roles that will be easy for them.

My fiance's mother has always hated me. She thinks I'm gross for having been a teen mom and she believes her son deserves someone better (i.e a virgin). As you can see, she's very sexist.

She thinks I'm an unchaste wh*re here to ruin her son which is extremely ironic because I was actually married to my daughter's father when she was conceived and he he left during the pregnancy. My fiancé had a shotgun wedding to his son's mother when she was 2 months pregnant.

I was at my fiance's house yesterday and we were talking about what role we could put his son in for the wedding. My fiance's mother popped in unexpectedly. She asked about what we were discussing. Fiancé told her we were finding a role for his son in the wedding and he said that my daughter was going to be a flowe girl.

She responded by saying my daughter should be kept away from the ceremony because otherwise everyone will know he's marrying a 'used woman'. She said it in a different language but I still understood.

I saw red and started shouting at her. I've tried to be respectful for YEARS and I had enough. I told her that she was banned from the wedding and my fiancé kicked her out his house.

We're both being bombarded with texts and calls saying that we're wrong for banning her and people specifically asking me to let her come because they know my fiance will keep her banned until I say so.

They keep saying that watching your child get married is a beautiful thing and I'm depriving her of that because his first wedding was a mess. I'm starting to feel like I should unban her. AITA?

Of course, the jury of internet strangers was dying to chime in on this monster-in-law drama. Here's what people had to say:

violaflwrs said:

NTA. It's your wedding. If she can't respect her son's wife, she doesn't have a place in the wedding. Also does she think her son is pure/a virgin? Lmao what a weird double standard and not an ideology I'd want my daughter exposed to if I had one.

beansareso_ said:

DO NOT unban her. She sounds awful & you are NTA.

realstareyes said:

NTA. She did that to herself. She‘s an adult and knows that awful behavior has consequences. You and your husband should firmly uphold your boundaries. Someone who treats you like this doesn’t deserve to be around on your wedding.

FlatulatinGreyMatter said:

100% NTA. Future MIL is abusive, entitled, manipulative, controlling, apathetic, self-righteous, and antagonistic. What she has said to you is dehumanizing and belittling. All those people spamming you with text messages are enablers. Most likely flying monkeys. Flying monkeys doing the bidding of the narcissist. You did the right thing.

Infamous_Control_778 said:

NTA She doesn't approve of the marriage, why should she be at the wedding? So it's OK for her son to have been married before, but not for you. No, really, don't let that woman be around your daughter. My dad's grandma was a joyless catholic who tried to ruin the wedding and my grandpa was a sexist ass. You don't need that pain in your life.

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed across the board here that this bride shouldn't back down on setting a hard boundary with her mother-in-law. If she wanted to get invited to her son's wedding, she should've been kinder to the bride. Cheers to the happy couple and a drama-free day.

Sources: Reddit
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