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Bride doesn't want to cancel honeymoon over groom's family problems, he snaps at her.

Bride doesn't want to cancel honeymoon over groom's family problems, he snaps at her.


Ideally, your honeymoon is a time when you can truly kick back, relax, and enjoy the company of your new spouse.

A honeymoon gives you time to explore a beautiful place, relax, and luxuriate in each other's presence before diving into the more mundane daily realities of married life. The complexities of life hit a marriage fast, so building memories of sexy fun times is key for holding on through the storms.

However, life doesn't hold to a schedule, and just because your honeymoon is marked on the calendar doesn't mean everything else in your life will clear out for that time period.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a new bride asked if she's wrong for not wanting to cancel her honeymoon because of her brother-in-law's current life situation.

She wrote:

AITA for not wanting to cancel our honeymoon despise what happened with my brother-in-law?

My husband (m32) and I (f24) just got married three weeks ago and we are currently celebrating our honeymoon. The plan was to travel for two months to different countries in Europe, Asia and Africa.

We currently are in Spain and we are supposed to take a plane to Morocco in two days. However, my husband wants to cut the trip short and go back to our home now. The thing is his brother is in a horrible situation, his wife and daughter had a car crash and they're in the hospital.

The kid is fine but his wife has to be a little longer in the hospital, that's all I know. I told my husband that I understand he wants to support his brother but that he's not a doctor so he can't do anything to help really. And his brother's wife is fine, she probably only has a broken leg or something and that's why she needs some more days in the hospital.

I told him to just call his brother and ask to talk with his wife so he can send her his best wishes and that's all that he can do honestly. His parents and his in-laws are helping with the kids so there's really nothing they need help with. I told him our honeymoon was important because it's time for ourselves to enjoy and spend together.

He wasn't having any of it, he called me selfish and then he kicked me out of our bedroom, I had to ask for a new one until he decided to let me in again. He told me that he's leaving tomorrow because he needs to be supportive of his brother and told me I can continue the trip by myself.

But that's not the point of s honeymoon at all, I told him so and he said that if he would've known how b**chy I was he would've never dated me. Am I really wrong here? Sorry I can't reply to every comment but I'm trying.

The thread quickly filled up with comments and hot takes.

MaybeAWalrus wrote:

Doesn't matter how well your in laws are doing. The only important thing here is that your HUSBAND doesn't feel right staying away from his family in this time of need.

Your husband is NOT having fun with you right now, he is not enjoying your company because his mind is elsewhere and he is worried for his brother. Yes, it's 100% wrong of you to ask him to disregard his own feelings just so he can keep you company, for your own little sake. YTA.

ColdIllustrious5041 wrote:

Unpopular opinion but NTA. No one died or is on life support from the sounds of it. No major surgeries. The brother has support. I would not expect my brother to cut his honeymoon short to come home - especially if i had several others helping me out. If someone had died, was near death or was severely disabled, it would be different.

Intrepid-Database-15 wrote:

NTA. It's fine to want to be supportive. But unless you know that she is actively dying, I wouldn't waste all the money and planning I spent to return home. They said that they're fine, and don't need help. What is your husband going to do? Go to work and then sit at home or sit at his mothers and do what? Nothing.

F that, I would continue on with my trip and let husband know he's welcome to join me when he gets tired of sitting at home, waiting for something to do. Because bil said it himself that everyone was fine.

Have a fun trip. Because it sounds like your husband is acting a little controlling and abusive because he doesn't get his way. Kicking you out of your hotel room? Really. Dude needs to grow up. Go enjoy your trip. There is nothing for you to do at home but sitting around the house. Don't let the trip go to waste.

Puzzleheaded-Desk399 wrote:

NTA OP after reading your comments. You are from Thailand and your husband is American and you've only known him for 6 months. He is already abusing you mentally and emotionally.

He is treating you like most In**ls would treat someone not of their culture. He (American) wouldn't get away with treating an American woman like he is already treating you. Stopping you from communicating with his family is a HUGE 🚩.

Edited to say: OP's husband probably lead OP and her family (Thais) to think he is a wealthy American and in reality is that he don't have the money to actually have a two month long honeymoon. Most likely he came up with a story on why they need to return to the States and refuses to let her communicate with anyone in his family nor to even tell her what is actually wrong with SIL.

Shot-Artichoke-4106 wrote:

After reading the comments with more information, I say NTA. I also say, get out - now. End this honeymoon and go home - to your own family and friends. There are so many red flags in this relationship that it is hard to know where to start.

First - You have a disagreement and HE KICKED YOU OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND YOU HAD TO RENT ANOTHER ROOM. He is controlling, ab*sive, and apparently has no regard for your personal safety. No matter how mad a spouse gets, he or she should NEVER (ever ever ever) do anything to put the other spouse at risk - ever.

This is a do-not-pass go moment. Anyone who does this to you has no business being in your life. Period. Second: The first major issue you have in your marriage and he tells you that if he had really known you, he wouldn't have even dated you. Nice.

You've been married 3 weeks and this is how your new husband is treating you - on your honeymoon. It's only going to get worse. Perhaps there is a silver lining here though - you can clearly see his character early enough in the marriage to walk away cleanly.

Third - He withholds information from you, telling you that you wouldn't understand, don't need to know, etc. Again, controlling - and condescending. This is not how a person treats their life partner. Not just your SIL's condition, but information in general. You said he is a private person - but this is not private, this is controlling.

And you have no way to contact your in-laws directly? Not good. Ab*sive people often control the flow of information to maintain control - keep the people they ab*se in the dark, cut them off from others.

Fourth - He makes unilateral decisions about things that affect both of you - and will not accept any discussion or input from you. Again - controlling and not the behavior of a good partner.

Vas-yMonRoux wrote:

NTA, but OP: you're in an ab*sive relationship. Nothing that is happening here is normal behaviour from your husband — he's hiding things for a reason.

He's older than you and holds all the power in this relationship: he's manipulating you by using your lack of knowledge of American culture to make you think that whatever he says is true.

You barely know him (you've only known each other 6 months), you know nothing about his life in America and you have no information about his family (and no way to contact them). He's hiding basic information from you. He's already yelling at you and kicking you out of hotel bedrooms.

What will you do when you find yourself alone in America with no support system, and he kicks you out of the house because he's angry? Do not go to America with your husband, and do not lose sight of your passport: keep it with you at all times.

Please don't make a huge mistake: this is not a safe situation. You still have a chance to get out of this relatively easily.

In a series of comments, OP revealed more information about the situation, as well as updates:

I am from Thailand, my family lives there. We dated for six months. Sometimes he shares information with me but sometimes he tells me I won't understand or i don't need to know. He's very private. He's from a different country than me so he told me this is how relationships work where he's from, men like to be more private so I think it's okay for him to be this way

I don't know why he doesn't want to tell me what fully happened but I think he would tell me if it was a life or death case. He only told me they had a car accident, they both had to go to the hospital and the kid was going home but his sister in law is not.

Then he called his family but he doesn't like me listening to his phone calls with his family and he asked me to leave the room so I couldn't hear anything, he doesn't want to tell me what they talked about

He doesn't want me contacting his family so he insisted that I shouldn't have their numbers, the only few times I've spoke to them over the phone was using his phone but not he doesn't allow me to call them

I called my father, he told me to grab my passport and some money then he told me to confront my husband about this doubts I have. He told that if I feel like he's still lying or my husband doesn't want to answer or things get bad then I should rent another room and he will fly to pick me up in a day or two.

Thank you for your concern because I genuinely didn't know this was not normal in America and my father or family either.

It's good OP posted, because in this rare case, the internet was able to point out all the red flags waving from her husband.

Sources: Reddit
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