Weddings can be a beautiful celebration of love, but they can also expose the rot in a relationship. While the former is more fun for everyone involved, the latter makes for a juicier story.
In a popular post on the Wedding Shaming subreddit, a woman shared the saga of all wedding sags.
"Bridezilla ruins her own wedding. Demands bridal party pay her cancelled wedding."
Starting the year strong, I swear. So, my friend Dana (F29) was supposed to be getting married this past Sunday 1/14. The wedding got canceled and things had gotten very crazy. Dana was getting married to Josh (M32). She's still in college with me and asked a few friends from college, myself included, to be her bridal party. Now, from the start, this wedding has been a disaster.
I'm going to just point out a few of the crazy things we dealt with:
1. She refused to invite my best friend, who she's supposedly good friends with, because she thinks we're lesbian lovers. We're not.
2. She had us go to the dress fitting and then demanded each of us pay $2000 each for our dresses. Apparently she had a specific style she wanted. I can afford it, but I won't buy a 2k dress for one event. Some of the girls in the bridal party don't have that flexibility with money.
3. Apparently Josh couldn't invite any single females that were not blood relatives of him. So if he had any female friends, they were axed.
4. One of the girls in the bridal party doesn't drink because of her religion. Dana accused her of being pregnant in front of her parents and almost got her kicked out of her house. She was not pregnant and she dropped from the bridal party. She was a class act, though, and never bad talked Dana. Just said she couldn't make it. We found out about it pretty much on the day of the wedding.
5. She tried to make us cancel our holidays with our families to instead go with her to a destination bachelorette party. I work full time even during holidays, so I told her that was not happening. More of the bridesmaids said similar things and she dropped it.
That's just 5 things of countless drama this wedding was having before the day. Now the meat of the story comes on the wedding day. The day started horrible. Dana was having a meltdown because apparently the flower girl had to cancel because she has -chickenpox-. She was threatening to sue the mother unless she brought this sick three-year-old to the wedding.
Josh apparently was able to calm her down from this starter outburst and we began preparations. The whole day she had constant outbursts. She made people cry. Like, wedding staff and bridesmaids. The MoH deserves a medal for the amount of diplomacy and bulls$%t control she had to do.
I for the most part took the easy route and decided to work outside the bridal suit like checking flowers, making sure food was okay. Basically any excuse NOT to be around bride. Eventually I had my make up and hair done, then the bride asked for a little bit of time alone to 'decompress' from the stress. We didn't even fight it, you could not see a group of women run faster away.
Wedding was starting in thirty minutes, so we figure she would be fine alone for that little. I spent those thirty minutes just sitting in the chapel with my phone. It had to be about five minutes before the start of the wedding when MoH came over to tell me the wedding was canceled. I asked her what happened.
MoH: "Dana was having a 'quickie' with Josh's uncle in the room. Josh caught them."
I just stared at the MoH with my mouth pretty much about to reach the floor. She told me to run and that she was trying to get as many people out before things exploded.
So I quickly got my purse, gathered the two bridesmaid that were carpooling with me, and we left like the devil was after us. I checked with the other bridesmaid and all had escaped. That night I called the MoH to check what happened and the tea was bad.
Apparently and rightfully, Josh called off the wedding, called her a few names, told off his uncle, and has since left with his mates to I hope have the biggest single man party ever. I feel so bad for him. He's an absolute gem of a man. He apparently also told Dana and her parents that she will be paying the cancelation fees.
According to MoH, Dana's father told her in front of everyone that she was paying it on her own for being a sl*t. I thought that was the end of it. I made the choice to separate myself from this mess. Until I got a call from Dana, not even hour ago, demanding $5,000 to help pay her cancelation fees. According to Dana, it was our duty as the bridal party to pay her cancelation fees.
I obviously told her no and that she might as well lose my number. I am never speaking to this woman again. This has been pretty much the reaction of all bridesmaids and the MoH. By the way, MoH? Josh's older sister.
Everyone's focusing on the bride, but I want to highlight this:
"One of the girls in the bridal party doesn't drink because of her religion. Dana accused her of being pregnant in front of her parents and almost got her kicked out of her house."
Presumably, her parents follow the same religion as her. What kind of insane people hear their daughter refuses to drink and immediately jump to, "OMG she's pregnant!" instead of, "Yeah, no s$%t, we're Mormon/Muslim/Sikh/etc?"
Well, my understanding, bear in mind, I'm sharing as I was told, is that Dana and this bridesmaid are really old friends. So the bridesmaid's parents have a level of trust with Dana. Apparently bridesmaid had been feeling sick a few days prior and I remember she had cancel something.
Then we went to prepare the bachelorette party and there was going to be an extra charge for mocktails which she offered to pay. Dana found out somehow and spoke first to her parents telling them that bridesmaid was acting like she was pregnant, not mentioning that the whole issue was because bridesmaid refused to make an exception for the bachelorette party about drinking.
Obviously still kinda bad on the parents, but I can see where they are coming from. Bridesmaid is not pregnant for the record. She was actually just sick. Also in case someone asks, bridesmaid no longer lives with her parents, and hasn't for a few years.
Disthebeat jumped on to comment on the specific bridesmaid situation.
Wait a minute here. You've got to be called out. How is it that she refused to drink because of her religion for the bachelorette party which was supposed to be RECENT and she was almost kicked OUT of her house because she said she was pregnant however you're saying that this was years ago that she hasn't lived with them? Something's up. With this story I mean. I think I'm starting to smell bulls#$t.
And OP responded:
Let me correct your confusion:
Dana and this bridesmaid have been friends for many years. So the bridesmaid's parents have some level of trust with Dana.
Bridesmaid, and her family, do not consume alcohol, but for the bachelorette party, Dana expected her to make an exception. When bridesmaid didn't, Dana contacted her parents asking if Bridesmaid was pregnant or something. Bridesmaid was then contacted by her parents and told to never come back to their home for being a 'whore' that got pregnant outside marriage.
This is crazy!
Laughed so much
"We didn't even fight it, you could not see a group of women run faster away."
And OP responded:
We were actually running. Like lowkey I almost fell. That's how much we didn't want to be there.
Admirable_Amazon asked a crucial question:
Did she ever show signs of being capable of this behavior before all this? Like was she hiding this demon in her? Or little things can be explained away but a wedding really highlighted the crazy?
And OP responded:
Before she got engaged there were little things. Once in a while not having her wallet and promising to repay but forgetting to, or being a bit flaky. Nothing horrible.
This is fake. Cancelation fees? There is no canceling the day of a wedding and everything is already paid in full. The food and cake are already done and paid in full. The venue won't even let you in if not paid in full. And I'm saying this someone who has coordinated a wedding and who plans conferences full-time.
Oh pardon me for not knowing how wedding planning works when I've never worked or cared for planning a wedding. Cause you know, must be common knowledge for everyone everywhere. I translated what I was told.
What I was told, by the bride is: "Necesito el dinero para pagar la boda. El hijo de puta cancelo y me estan cobrando."
Feel free to figure the translation in English.
OP spill all the tea we do not know yall. I am glad you are distancing yourself from that bridezilla. Petty Betty me would have told her to check ca$happ for my money and sent her 50 cents. This whole story is hilarious. You got cake right? What about some food. You would have had lunch for the whole week. Her poor parents. Bride wanted the poor baby with chickenpox to show up? Cray Cray.
There's some things I can't disclose, but yeah, it's been a trip xD No food, sadly. I did pay for my plate, but meh. Sometimes the meal is not worth it.
Hey guys! I know a lot of people want to know what happened. After talking to Josh yesterday, he asked me to only say that he's okay, figuring things out, and moving on. We're going to stay friends with him and his sister. Dana was told that no one in the group wants to interact with her and since then its been mostly radio silence.
I can't share more about Josh's future plans, as he asked me not to. He did have a good laugh at some of the comments I show him and appreciates the support. The one detail I did get corrected on for those curious was about his uncle. He's the younger brother of Josh's mother and he's 55 years old. I thought he was married into the family, but I got that detail wrong.
I also found out the most disgusting detail is the uncle knew Dana since she was a teenager. Dana and Josh are high school sweethearts. So, yeah, I kinda feel gross knowing that. Other than that, I got a major haul of cake. So at least I got something good out of this mess.
So what happened with the uncle? I’d imagine he was kicked out of the family. Did she ask him to pay the cancelation fees? 😂
From what I can share, I was asked to keep a lot of details private by Josh himself, the uncle's wife is planning a divorce. That's really all he wants me to say.
Just curious and a bit confused, bride and bridesmaids are still in college and bride is 29? Were the bridesmaids also around her age or much younger?
The youngest in the group is 24. And yes, we're older to be in college since a lot of us return to college or started later in life. College is expensive.
It sounds like you should keep in touch with the MOH. She sounds like the kind of friend that stays calm in a crisis but would be brilliant to have a night out with.
We're having a BBQ next Sunday and invited her. Dana is obviously no longer part of the friend group but MoH absolutely deserves at least a free meal and a couple of drinks on us.
Any update from the BBQ?
A few things I've been asked not to share, but I can share Josh is okay and working to get things in order. He came over too and seemed down, but we got him to laugh a bit so there's some good news. No news on Dana. I actually requested to change some of my classes with her or drop if I couldn't find alternative schedule. Not in any hurry since I'm only a student part time.
Updates?!! Really hoping for something to read with my morning coffee. Sorry, I love chisme.
Hey! Out of Josh asking me to keep the update in the downlow I probably won't update.
All I can share is he's okay and Dana is not having it easy :D
Suffice it to say, this is a wedding that wasn't meant to be.