Bride wants to exclude autistic cousin from childfree wedding; her fiancé is pissed.

Weddings can be incredibly loaded, particularly when it comes to how the wedding couple navigates the guest list. The decision to make a ceremony child-free or to exclude certain family members can have real emotional repercussions.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for not wanting her autistic cousin at her child-free wedding. She wrote:

"AITA for not wanting my autistic cousin at my child-free wedding?"

Throwaway because I have family that use Reddit as well. Next spring, I am getting married to the love of my life. We have decided that we don’t want children at our wedding. Not many of our friends and family have young children, and the ones that do are fine with getting a sitter for the weekend since we gave them a lot of notice.

The only ones to put up a fight are my aunt and uncle who have a daughter with autism. She is 20, but will be 21 by the time my wedding day comes around. She is what they call “high-functioning”, which means she can talk and wash/dress herself, and she has some friends.

She graduated from high school a couple of years ago and is currently living with her parents (my aunt and uncle) while working at a grocery store. Despite her being technically an adult I just don’t see her as such. Every time I talk to her at a family gathering it’s like talking to a child. She is obsessed with toy ponies and barbie dolls, and brings them up at every opportunity.

She draws in her notebook constantly and never makes eye contact when talking to me. She does not have loud meltdowns like other special needs kids I’ve met before, but I really don’t want to risk her ruining my special day. I told my aunt and uncle that I didn’t want her there and they became very upset.

They said she already saw the invite and knew it was child-free but because she is an “adult”, she thought she was still included. My aunt tried to guilt me by saying she’d already picked out a dress and a gift but I didn’t want to hear it. My fiancé says I’m being an AH and we should let her attend because she has attended other weddings before with no issue.

Everyone is making me feel horrible for not treating her like an adult when she doesn’t act like one. AITA?

People did not hold back.

Stranger0nReddit wrote:

YTA. What exactly makes you think she would "ruin your special day"? Simply the fact that she is autistic?!!

EvilWarBW wrote:

YTA. Your cousin will quietly mind her business and talk to her family members. Its going to be hard having a childfree wedding with your behaviour, though.

New-Pea-3721 wrote:

"She’s obsessed with toy ponies and barbie dolls"

So what? Let people like what they like. It’s your wedding and you can invite (or uninvite who you want) but that doesn’t mean you’re not an AH for it. YTA.

catskilkid wrote:

YTA. You have posted NO RATIONALE for not wanting her except that she has autism which makes you the AH. The idea of no child wedding is for behavior issues, and at times to reduce the number of guests. Your own post shows she has no issue with behavior and no mention that you are looking to save money.

You try to make yourself look like the non-AH by saying she does not act like an adult, but your only evidence is she likes drawing in her notebook, and she doesn't make eye contact with you. The only risk in ruining your special day would be the guests finding out how cold you are and how unloving of a family member with a disability. You definitely are coming across as a bride/groomzilla.

Puff-n-Stuff wrote:

YTA. You said yourself in the post that she has been to other weddings with no issue. Sounds like you're just being a real jerk to autistic adults who enjoy toys. If they do end up coming, I kind of hope they take your gift back to the store.

OP is most certainly TA, without a doubt.