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Bride mocks 'addict' sister in wedding toast, ends up 'ruining' her own $10K party.

Bride mocks 'addict' sister in wedding toast, ends up 'ruining' her own $10K party.


Don't dish it if you can't take it, where it is — well, keep reading. When a bride made a rude comment about her sister in public, the sister let her know how she felt. OP writes:

AITA for making a scene at my sister's wedding, which she spent more than 10k on, over a joke?

My sister (24f) got married last week. Her wedding was very well planned out — we received invitations six months before and my sister poured about $10,000 into this wedding — and that's without catering costs added.

She also invited over 100 people. The ceremony was beautiful. There were so many pictures taken, everyone was having a great time, I dream of eating the food I ate there just once again in my life. Even the rehearsal dinner a week before was magical.

The issue came after my sister and her husband said 'I do' — it was the reception. The cake was cut, and everything was great. They were laughing and having a good time, and then they went back up and said their speeches.

Her husband's speech was touching with a humourous twist. When it came time for her to say hers, however, things went south.

She started off great, making a few jokes about a few family members. Nothing harmful. But then it got to me. She made a joke about considering having a dry wedding because I was 'such an addict.' To clarify, I have struggled with an alcohol addiction, and she is well aware.

She was never really supportive of my recovery journey because she always saw me as an addict. My sister has this idea that once you struggle with an addiction, you go crazy and lose control if you get the chance again. No matter if you recover or not, in her eyes, you're always an addict.

Everyone laughed and I felt humiliated. She was laughing too and then continued. I didn't want to interrupt her so I just waited. I felt like crying and screaming at the same time, it was a rage yet sadness I'd never experienced before.

After her speech, I spoke up. I brought her somewhere private. I told her that I didn't appreciate her joke and it wasn't funny, and that I felt she humiliated me.

She got so angry and started yelling, things like 'I have a whole wedding waiting for me back there, who do you think you are to bring me here and waste my time' and 'It's just a joke, don't be so pissy.'

She accused me of ruining her wedding and started screaming. She left back to the ceremony and I just stood there.

Once I came back, everyone was staring at me and my sister was sobbing in my dad's arms. My dad proceeded to yell at me telling me I ruined my sister's wedding and made a scene. I yelled back and when I noticed a lot of people were watching, I got angry and left.

Now all my family's mad at me and they won't stop sending me texts telling me I should apologize. I don't want to. AITA?

EDIT: Based on the comments, I would like to clarify a few things. I think I may be the asshole because once I left and saw my dad, he started yelling at me and I yelled back. If i'd just left, i wouldn't have caused a scene.

I also would like to say this is not the first time my sister has made a distasteful comment about my addiction struggles, and my parents excuse her every time. They tell me they don't agree with her but I should 'put up with her' and 'understand her.'

Lastly, the wedding and reception was still going on — I pulled her away immediately after so people were looking at us. I think her reaction was because she was anxious since people were looking and she didn't want to leave such a special moment.

The Reddit jury didn't take long to deliberate.

From Major_Barnacle_2212:

Perspective is a funny thing.

Her joke caused drama, but you handled the response privately. Her reaction to that was public - aka, she ruined her own wedding.

NTA. Brava for being so classy and strong. Very impressive!

From SilverTooth47:

NTA. She publicly humiliated you, and you privately told her that wasn't okay. I am not understanding her reaction, unless some context is missing.

From CrystalQueen3000:

You didn’t make a scene, you took her somewhere private and told her that she’s hurt your feelings. NTA. She sure is an AH though

From Pesec1:

NTA. You made sure to have expressed your feelings regarding the cruel 'joke' in a way that would NOT make a scene. She was the one who decided to act out in public

From Fatigue-Error:

NTA Your sister was way out of line for mocking you for your recovery. She should have been celebrating it, or at the very least, not mentioned it in public.

She deliberately chose to humiliate and embarrass you. You called her out for it privately, she then chose to make it public by literally crying in daddy's arms in public. SHE ruined her own wedding.

A joke should be funny, what she said wasn't. And shame on anyone who laughed along.

From Jolene401:

Does your sister often have overly dramatic emotional outbursts? Do your parents then coddle her? Do they usually blame you for things that you didn’t cause?

NTA, she’s lucky you’re not a bitch like me because she would have had wine thrown at her dress on my way out. What she said was more than distasteful, it could have been harmful to you. Honestly I don’t think you owe anyone an apology, they all owe you one.

Well, at least when family fails you — there's always Reddit.

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