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Bride refuses to let niece wear white dress and matching crown to wedding, SIL gets mad.

Bride refuses to let niece wear white dress and matching crown to wedding, SIL gets mad.

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Weddings bring out the most specific requests from people who aren't even involved in planning, and shutting down these requests can get super awkward.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for not letting her niece wear white at her wedding. She wrote:

"AITA for not letting my niece wear white at my wedding?"

My partner and I are getting married in February. On Christmas Day my soon-to-be sister-in-law asked if her 5-year-old daughter could wear a white dress to the wedding. She told me it was in a shop front in our local shopping centre. I was so stunned I didn’t really respond either way. Afterwards I told my partner and he said he would speak to his sister.

Today I saw the dress and it is basically a wedding dress, big and white tulle with a detailed floral lace body. This is after she asked us to order her daughter a flower crown so that she can have flowers to match mine. She isn’t a flower girl, we aren’t having any bridal party as part of our day. AITA for wanting to tell her no and refusing to get her a flower crown?

The internet swooped in with piping-hot takes.

girlmom1980 wrote:

ESH clear expectations needed to be set long ago. The little girl wanting to be part of your day has ZERO clue she's done something intrusive. Message me your venmo I will help buy a pretty flower crown she can wear from the audience. Children shouldn't be punished because adults have poor communication.

randomstat123 wrote:

NTA - it would be one thing if she were the flower girl and you chose the dress, but for her to dress her up in a mini-wedding dress complete with flowers to match your wedding dress is a bit attention-seeking. I can see this moving to her requesting special photos be taken with her little girl and comments from everybody saying how cute it is the two of you match.

If this is not what you want, you need to nip it in the bud.

Dry_Dragonfruit_4191 wrote:

Is your future SIL trying to make her daughter your flower girl? Be clear on there being no bridal/groom party of any kind. This goes with there being no flower girl/ring bearer. A five-year-old isn't going to be detail-oriented to want this particular gown in white and crown to match your flowers. The mother on the other hand will notice the details and play a huge part in things.

Food for thought: You could take your future niece dress shopping yourself. It would be fun bonding day, and she won't end up with a white dress.

Hungry-Caramel4050 wrote:

I cannot understand why people care so much about details like this when it comes to weddings…especially about a 5yo. Is that a Western wedding thing? So many rules applying to adults AND kids? Brides worried about being upstaged 😂? I’m sorry, nobody can upstage me at my own event even if they wear the exact same dress…all I’m reading is unnecessary stress.

NTA but if the girl isn’t being an active flower girl t your wedding (and you said she’s not), I’m pretty sure nobody will care but you.

While people are divided about how OP should handle it, one thing is clear: neither OP nor the little girl are AHs.

Sources: Reddit
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