'AITA for telling my bridesmaid she can't wear the same hairstyle as me at my wedding?'
"AITA for telling my bridesmaid that she can't wear the same hairstyle as me for my wedding?"
My (25F) bridesmaid (25F), Nola said she does not like the hairstyle I have picked for the bridesmaids and is going to be wearing the same hairstyle as me. When I told her no she got very upset. My bridesmaids are wearing a messy bun, and I'll be having my hair down in Hollywood waves.
For context, we've known each other nearly 5 years, but haven't kept in touch much in the last 2. The only reason she's a bridesmaid is because she called me up on a promise I made her 3 years ago saying that I'd make her my bridesmaid when I got married. I'm really bad at saying no, so I said yes.
I got her the bridesmaids outfit and accessories (I am paying for everything - they are paying for their own hair & makeup). Nola has already said she doesn't like the bridesmaids outfit and asked me to change it. I was unable to as my other bridesmaids loved theirs and the dresses were non refundable.
I also asked my bridesmaids to wear any colour of the rainbow to my bridal shower, and I told them I'm wearing white.
Nola said, "I'm wearing pink" Me: Uh, sorry but pink isn't a rainbow colour. Did you want to pick something else?
Nola: Fine, then I'll wear white
Me: That isn't a rainbow colour either and I'm wearing white, how about you wear green?
Nola: I'll think about it.
I've already asked her to cater to my above requests (not changing the bridesmaid dress & wearing a rainbow colour for the bridal shower). AITA for also asking her not to wear her hair like mine and wear it like the rest of the bridesmaids?
Redditors shared their thoughts.
calling_water wrote:
NTA. But OP, she had to push you into making her a bridesmaid, and she knows it. She’s self-centered and making trouble deliberately. Please tell her that since she doesn’t want to do the gig as defined, she’s out. Don’t give her another chance or she’ll show up on your wedding day looking like you. You’re allowing a lot of flexibility but she’s set to hit you with it.
Maximum-Swan-1009 wrote:
If someone told me I could wear any colour of the rainbow, I would not take it that literally. Usually when people say that they simply mean any colour. That being said, I think it is ridiculous to tell people what colour they can wear to a bridal shower. I also wouldn't worry about how my bridesmaids had their hair done.
This is a good thing, too, because I just realized that my MOH had pretty much an identical style to mine. I never even thought of this until now because with different colouring, figures, heights, etc, we still looked pretty different. You will be the radiant bride in your gorgeous gown and nobody can take that away from you. Relax a bit and let your bridesmaids have fun and feel good about their appearance, too.
Archon-Toten wrote:
Maybe as a man I'm a bit biased but this seems a complete waste of time and energy. ESH. Why do you care so much about other people's hair Why would she be so stubborn about a hair style. Everyone needs to relax more.
Naive_Pay_7066 wrote:
Since when is pink not a rainbow colour? It’s literally the third colour in the rainbow song! My wedding was 15 years ago and my advice to you is to let go of the petty stuff - shit is going to go wrong regardless of how hard you try to control it. You can decide how much you want to let these imperfections affect your enjoyment of your wedding day.
I can guarantee you that, a month after the day, the only person who will remember those details is you (and maybe some of your wedding party). Focus on what is important and let the rest be what it is.
dumbbrasian wrote:
ESH. No one will notice her hairstyle. Seeing it from your pov, she seems very annoying and making it about her. You don't seem to want her there. Grow a spine and do something about it.
No one can agree on the official ruling, but everyone can agree that this is ultimately petty.